Circus performer here

There are almost no circuses either :(

It really is the most boring of sports. It’s the sport equivalent of start and stop traffic. Sorry not sorry.

Just take a tums dude

The Republican Supreme Court, who decided that presidents are kings? You’re asking about THAT SCROTUS?

How about we give our Northeastern and Western states to Canada? We’ll even take Alberta off your hands.

Most labels are very loose, and they help define some people define their own identity and find others who feel similarly

I speak English better than Spanish, despite Spanish being my mother tongue

Isn’t that basically what rich people do

I don’t get hangovers

Made a new friend a few years ago. We performed together, wrote an act together, and used to hang out a bunch. At least, until she started complaining about my partner’s anti-genocide posts and calling her antisemitic. We stopped talking

If they were Nazis they would be marching down the street holding swastikas

…wait, fuck

I would notice pretty quick when I’m not being catcalled on my way to work

The fraud is in plain sight

Movies are the absolute worst. It seems over time movies have gone from 1h30m to almost 3hr, and now everything is a fucking massive two part movie.

To start, my ADHD won’t let me focus on a movie for that long. I also have mild face blindness and for some reason directors love casting a bunch of people who all look the same with no discernable qualities. The sound mixing for home is absolute trash, and I’d rather avoid an expensive theater full of screaming kids. And finally, my declining eyesight due to keratoconus isn’t helping.

Someone tell the Supreme Court so they can reverse all their Biden reversals

This funds public cleaning of dog poop and free dog poop bags.

NYC technically requires a dog license, and I can guarantee you it provides neither of these things. The streets are absolutely covered in dog shit because of irresponsible dog owners. A lot of the city doesn’t have garbage cans either (especially in Queens), and the few that exist are never emptied.

Thanks to you, many people, self included, are planning on leaving the country since we are no longer recognized as people by the federal government.

Thanks to you, eggs are $15 a dozen

Thanks to you, teachers are absolutely horrified by what they’re being told to do

Thanks to you, immigrants everywhere are living in fear, even in their own homes, regardless of legal status

Thanks to you, Apartheid Hitler has everyone’s social security information

Thanks to you, they’re building concentration camps at GitMo

Thanks to you, formerly eradicated diseases are making a comeback. Enjoy polio!

Thanks to you, skilled women, BIPOC, and disabled workers everywhere are losing their jobs to actual DEI hires

So yeah, thanks for that. You’re responsible for this. But at least Gaza is saved right?

SSyberwagen

Only if you’re white

Can you please bring the Northeast in as well? NY and Toronto are already buds, and Niagara Falls has one foot in each