I was perplexed by the question. What’s the difference? They explained: “Should I tiptoe and watch my manners around you or be blunt? Flirtatious or chill? Brag about my sexual conquests or talk about our feelings? When you’re sad, do I hug you and buy you ice cream or do we go grab some beers? Should I wonder if we’ll ever hook up?”
I’m not sure if I’m more appalled or confused by this mindset. I thought everyone treated their friends the same regardless of their gender identity. Is this just a fringe case of toxic masculinity, or is this really how the average cis person sees the world?
I interact differently even within my friends of the same gender. I will match the energy of the person I am talking to. Sally may be bubbly and excited, and I will to bring the same enthusiasm. Wendy is much quieter, and we talk slower and about different things.
Sally and Wendy are going to have a lot in common compared to Tom and Kenny thanks to social conditioning. Some people will just see the similarities and say, “boy friends act this way, girl friends act this way.”
Fundamentally, there isn’t a reason I need to treat Sally or Wendy differently than each other or to Tom and Kenny, but it works out that way a lot of times.