I was perplexed by the question. What’s the difference? They explained: “Should I tiptoe and watch my manners around you or be blunt? Flirtatious or chill? Brag about my sexual conquests or talk about our feelings? When you’re sad, do I hug you and buy you ice cream or do we go grab some beers? Should I wonder if we’ll ever hook up?”
I’m not sure if I’m more appalled or confused by this mindset. I thought everyone treated their friends the same regardless of their gender identity. Is this just a fringe case of toxic masculinity, or is this really how the average cis person sees the world?
Some of their questions are…interesting, but I think the important thing to keep in mind here is that they’re making an explicit effort to interact with you in the way you prefer, and it is probably be worth pointing out the comments that make you uncomfortable with them directly. They clearly want to make the effort to make you comfortable, so being direct with them would most likely be appreciated by them.
In regards to “is this normal?”, I will say that, as a cis person, the line between “don’t stereotype based on gender” and respecting gender identity can be quite murky and it can feel precarious to assume how someone wants to be treated after or during their transition. Everyone will have different expectations and wishes, so having discussions like this, though blunt and likely awkward, will hopefully lead to a better relationship overall.
It does sound like this friend cares about you, so I hope you’re both able to address this constructively.
Yeah people forget that different types of people exist regardless of their gender.
I’ve met men that get super offended if someone says the slightest uncouth thing. I’ve met women that get super offended if you try to censor yourself because “she’s a lady”
To me this is the perfect will smith meme “he a little confused but he got the spirit”