For me, it would be that I smoke weed
not a lot, ive always been fucked up & hella gay. although im not racist anymore, so thats good. LOL (although i mightve expected to have real friends still) What a sad life.
That for all intents and purposes, I beat depression. And here’s me knocking on wood to not jinx that.
That I’m pregnant. I was a tomboy and very masculine. This is as far away from masculine as I can be at least in a physical sense. It’s not as bad as I thought.
Probably that I’m alive?
I already dealt with (undiagnosed) chronic depression by 10. The first time I thought about killing myself I don’t think I even knew the word “suicide.” I also had an overwhelming sense that I wouldn’t live past 30. That might not have started until I was 11 or 12, but I think it was there when I was younger.
Weirdly my mom also had an overwhelming sense that she would lose me at a young age from the day I was born, which she didn’t have with my older sister.
Well, I’m past 30 now. My love of people in my life has kept the suicidal ideation to only that. While I still have chronic depression, I’ve learned to manage it better over the years and medication helps.
I genuinely don’t know why I was depressed or had suicidal thoughts that young. I didn’t have a traumatic home or childhood. My parents worked a lot but loved me and my sister without question. We didn’t have a lot of money but always had enough food. I loved school and had great teachers. I wasn’t sexually assaulted before I was 10 (I think I was 12 the first time). I don’t know and that bothers me.
ETA: I guess I was bullied at school by 10, so maybe that accounts for it?
That I am a girl now. Seems to be a common pattern şn the comment section 💀
Same, although I had thoughts in that direction at that age but I couldn’t categorize them.
yep. Same (about having had the thoughts and not being able to categorize)
So many things! But mostly that I have a lot of wonderful friends. I was a pretty lonely child, awkward and uncool.
That I’m on a computer programming all day for my job.
That I’m on a computer programming all night for fun.
That I rarely play video games anymore.
The entire world of personal electronics and the cloud.
I got in early and my entire life is digital. I used the first mass market personal computers and was on several precursors to the internet before most lemmings were born. I’m a software engineer: I play video games and do home automation for fun. I don’t have much of a lab but only for lack of time. Seriously, my entire life.
When I was 10, I was still a couple years away from joining my first computer club (IBM mainframe), learning my first computer language (APL - I’m a math nerd too). There were no mass market personal computer yet, and even the first kits probably weren’t out yet.
When I was 10, my life was skating through school, playing out in the yard with my brothers, or in the woods. I loved building and fixing, whether with my father’s tools, or model kits, or Lego. i loved camping, sports, visiting my grandparents farm. My interest in technology was mostly reading history. I would not even recognize most of my adult life
That I’m a girl now. Would have blown their mind that it was even possible. But then would have been disappointed in me for not having made a video game yet.
As someone who recently came out, I was kinda hoping that this would be here. It is a pretty wild thought
So what kind of game are you making?
Estradiol is fucking magical.
Estrogen in general I would say.
I’m impressed with the amount of people who can actually remember what they were like as a 10 year old. I’ve got some pictures n’ shit of myself from back then, but honestly that might as well be a completely different person, and I can’t tell you jack about what’s going through their head.
I can relate to that. I remember specific memories, but my situation has changed so much that I don’t relate to being the same person
What age do you start remembering what you were like?
I became really self-aware at 11. I’m guessing a bit about being 10, but 6th grade (11-12) is when I feel like I started being the person I still am 20+ years later. Obviously I’ve grown, but it started then.
I have some vague memories from around middle school, but pretty much nothing prior to that.
Highschool and later are locked in, but before that goes from hazy to brick wall real quick.
“What do you mean you’re happy with getting socks for Christmas?!”
Last time I was gifted socks…they were the wrong one (somehow, I get my socks from Walmart, so I’m not too picky, or so I thought). I’m pretty sure it was an amazon special - anyways now I tell everyone I’m super picky about socks or that I have 20 pairs already.
Never thought I’d spend as much on the wool socks I have… yet here I am.
Darn Tough
Woa… I had no idea the branding was chosen for that. Very cool.
That I hate television and actually enjoy working. Jobs suck, “work” sucks, but getting things done around the house or finishing a project or even just getting into a flow on a task is rewarding. 10 year old me would ask, “What happened to us?!” But I guess I enjoyed it then, too. I just defined it differently. Building with Lego for hours in my room, being creative. I didn’t define that as work until my adult hobbies expanded into making things with my hands and I had real world job experience.
i live in a different country and most of the day i speak a different language
Growing up poor in the suburbs, now living on an old farm in the middle of nowhere, Denmark, growing my own weed, a beautiful wife, have chickens, 2 cats and a dog, my younger self would be flabbergasted. Mostly because I was “destined” to have my life fucked, but I overcame obstacles that surprised my childhood friends. Had one say at my wedding “You were the last person I thought would make it”.
Gotta be proud of what I’ve accomplished.
I’m gonna have a drink tonight for this. Here’s to making it. The best feeling you can have as a child is hearing from your parents when you’ve become an adult that they’re proud of who you have become.
It would be good, had it not been for my father being absent from I was 13 until I was 35, when we reconnected. He told me he was proud of me (wtf?) and we did a video call. He told me I needed to cut my hair (had hair nearly reaching my bellybutton, and I’m male). Realised later why on his Facebook: he’s a self-proclaimed nazi (he’s greek) who believes all gays (probably LGBTQ+ in general) should be killed, and the fact that the only way to punish criminals who’s done something to you is to get your crew together and beat them up. So yeah, fun lol
My half-brother on my father’s side has completely removed him due to being who he is, which is 100% understandable, as I have also removed our father from my life now.
And my mother has told me she’s proud of me, but she’s a narcissistic alcoholic, so lots of luggage there lol.
At least I’m married now 8 years and counting), own a house with land, and have chosen my family (you can’t choose who you’re blood related to, but you can choose your family!), whom I love and cherish.
Therapy helps (along with mushrooms)!!
Rant over 😂
Thanks for the drink 🍺🥂
How much I’ve improved with my art.
