I’ve had hemorrhoids for like 25 years, so I’ve always been very discerning about my toilet paper.
this entire time, I’ve been using whatever toilet paper I have found to be the softest as facial tissue, to blow my nose, as well. my reasoning being, if this stuff is gentle enough for my hemorrhoids, of course it’s going to be gentle enough for repeated use on my upper lip.
then, a friend turns me on to one of those new “with lotion” facial tissues (my bathroom tissue always has aloe in it) and wouldn’t you know it, my upper lip finds it to be softer than the toilet paper. but, when I try using it as toilet paper, my anus doesn’t find it to be less irritating than the toilet paper.
why do my butthole and my upper lip think that different things are softer? is it just chemistry?
new “with lotion” facial tissues
They were new in the 1980s, just FYI. The first ones were called “Puffs Plus With Lotion”
oh man time to start digging up some old TV commercials
Dammit, yet another question that I spent too much of my life on.
It comes down to nerves and tissue (cell, not paper) types.
The outside of your nose and the tissues of the anus are not the exact same. There’s a different concentration of “nerve endings”, and different types in different concentrations.
I doubt you want the full Monty of it, but if you look up the term “sensory receptors”, you can do the deep dive very easily.
The short version is that we have specific types of “nerve endings” (that’s what they’re called colloquially, hence the quote marks, but I’ll stop using those at this point). They detect pressure, temperature, pain/injury, etc.
The concentrations of them (as in how many per square inch), and the assortment of them (as in how many of each type in that square inch) varies across the entire body. The easiest way to demonstrate the relative principle is to touch your fingertip to your nose, your lips, your genitals (seriously), and your leg.
You’ll find that your brain interprets the signals in an interesting way. It’ll filter the less intense signals. You touch your finger to your lip, what your brain “says” is that your lips are being touched by something, and the signal from your finger takes the back seat. You touch the same fingertip to your thigh your brain says the finger is the primary sensation, and you feel the thigh via the finger rather than the finger via the thigh the way the lips worked.
Give it a try on whatever parts of your body you want. There’s going to be a shifting perception of whether it’s your finger touching something ( where emphasis is placed on the signals from the finger), or it’ll be the section of the body being touched by the finger (signal from the touched location being emphasized).
The anus and the nose have different jobs. The anus, mostly, needs to detect pressure, injury, and some degree of chemical contact the nose needs less pressure sensitivity, but more motion sensitivity. So you’ll get a different overall sensation with any given substance that’s pushed against either, and when the same substance is moved across either. The difference may end up being minor. But both are sensitive enough that most people can tell a difference between paper tissue products blindfolded.
Back in the day, I wiped asses for pay. The only patients I had that couldn’t tell the difference between brands of TP had medical issues that interfered with nerve signals. Do a test for yourself. Find a buddy to hand you tp or facial tissues and keep a log (heh, he said log while talking about butts). There’s a very good chance that every single one will feel different. You’ll probably be able to tell which brand is which if you’ve used that brand before.
You can probably even tell the difference with your fingers tbh. But you wouldn’t likely be able to if the same products were placed or rubbed on your back
You’d also notice that different objects will feel different when just placed on an area and pressed gently into the skin vs when you wipe the area with it.
Skin is an amazing thing. It’s armor, a sensor array, a biological filter, sunscreen, and a temperature regulator all in one! Plus other functions tbh, but shit like that gets overwhelming to read for a lot of people
You’d be amazed what you can discover with just an hour sitting around and touching things to parts of your body.
This is an amazing comment! TIL, sciencey comments like these are what I most miss from reddit.
Oh my god! I’m sitting here touching myself like a fucking madwoman. Thank you so much! Brilliant, brilliant comment. I had no idea, how have I lived without this knowledge? Ok I’m touching myself again, this is hilarious.
Best response ever :)
Thank you posting such an in depth and interesting explanation!
Glad to :)
hey cool. thanks
No worries ::
This is the type of hard hitting content I wish we had more of around here
Paging @DoctorNoses
thank you.
Wha…YOU’RE the one who should have the answers! Where did you get your medical degree???
Irregardless!
Don’t use nose tissues as toilet paper!
They’re made stronger for sneezes, not designed to “dissolve.”
They’ll gunk up your pipes !
Irregardless!
Stop.
Oh c’mon, I just had the sudden urge to say “irregardless!” and decided not to resist it for once.
Don’t resist it, it’s fun
Unirregardlesser
This may be too deep a question for a Thursday.
Nah man, just wipe the surface.
Get a bidet!!! No irritation, just dab dry, helps immensely.
I tried the bidet but it’s too powerful for my nose, just felt like I was waterboarding myself. 0/10, not recommend.
It takes some practice to perfect your toilet netipot technique.
i have one! that didn’t make the question in the back of my mind go away unfortunately
Hmm interesting. My experience is that the type of toilet paper matters much less with a bidet. I barely feel the paper in that case.
I didn’t say it didn’t eliminate the problem, I said it didn’t make the question in the back of my mind go away
Oh, gotcha
Rub your nose on your anus and you’ll have your answer.
okay, I will start taking yoga now, and get back to you once I am capable of running this test
On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog … until you tell them.
Prepare to become famous after Google’s LLM quotes you in a few years.
…Damn Girl! How flexable ARE you??? Can I rent you for the night???
Oh, sorry. That came off wrong.
I was just trying to imply that my penis would have fun with your body, bending you into various positions for my sexual benefit.
I didn’t mean to imply you would profit or gain anything from the experience.
I am going to suggest that you get a colonoscopy. My own experience with giant polyps is that they reduce the ability to evacuate fully, and make for an “it’s like a marker, I just keep wiping” condition. Between the extra straining and extra filth, that can definitely be a “recipe” for hemmorhoids.
Thank you for subscribing to Butthole Facts.
i got one when i was diagnosed with them at 18 but it’s time for another (they give you really good drugs for a colonoscopy)
All they gave me was propyphol, I wouldn’t call it “good.” Just knocks you out.
lame. i got fentanyl & Versed
the skin is sensitive there. if you have a glans; its the same there as well.
not to mention, the ‘lotion’ stuff isn’t going in your nose- or even remotely close to the sensitive parts of your nose.
Plenty of lotions are irritants if you use them in places they’re not meant to go.
Idk, tissues feel pretty soft on my ass
