I’ve had hemorrhoids for like 25 years, so I’ve always been very discerning about my toilet paper.

this entire time, I’ve been using whatever toilet paper I have found to be the softest as facial tissue, to blow my nose, as well. my reasoning being, if this stuff is gentle enough for my hemorrhoids, of course it’s going to be gentle enough for repeated use on my upper lip.

then, a friend turns me on to one of those new “with lotion” facial tissues (my bathroom tissue always has aloe in it) and wouldn’t you know it, my upper lip finds it to be softer than the toilet paper. but, when I try using it as toilet paper, my anus doesn’t find it to be less irritating than the toilet paper.

why do my butthole and my upper lip think that different things are softer? is it just chemistry?

  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
    1·
    11 hours ago

    …Damn Girl! How flexable ARE you??? Can I rent you for the night???

    Oh, sorry. That came off wrong.

    I was just trying to imply that my penis would have fun with your body, bending you into various positions for my sexual benefit.

    I didn’t mean to imply you would profit or gain anything from the experience.