my prostate would switch to happy mode and probably wouldn’t be able to pee
It’s difficult but not impossible
Hard Mode
The competition is stiff.
You woodn’t think it’s possible
But urine it to win it
You can cheat by doing it right after ejaculation.
As long as you can maintain a steady stream of ejaculate, it’ll feel the same for her.
Aloud.
Maybe she should try more quietly.
I thought they used audio recognition or something
Yeah, that made my brain short out for a second. :p
Still a better love story than twilight.
It’s an older meme sir, but it checks out.
I like how they censor the “C” in dick so it’s just “DIK”
I found that funnier than the whole rest of it lol
My friend had this little electronic twenty questions game. You would think of any object, animal, whatever and it would guess it very accurately. If your word was penis it would figure it out and guess dik-dik. That shit was hilarious to me.
pissing all by yourself, handsome?
Not anymore.
Wrong community, this is shitposting, you want pissposting. Maybe even vintagepissposting…
You’re free to repost to pisspost this shitpost
aloud
That’s quite the sound
Nonono, peeing is when stuff comes out. Sounding is when stuff goes in. Easy mistake to make.
A great shitpost about pee … beautifully done … now I gotta go pee … by myself … with no one holding my pee pee … so they don’t do a helicopter while I pee
You can hold it and copter yourself
Coptering a feel
Tried this once, wife’s aim was terrible. Was years ago, may try again at some point XD
To be fair to your wife, we have been practicing with it since we were toddlers.
Standing to pee is a learned skill. Trans guys who buy a stand to pee device are all recommended to practice in the shower first.
It certainly is! That’s really interesting. I didn’t even consider how transitioning changes the way one would use the toilet. I can totally see needing to practice in the shower with the device.
And she’s only getting half of the controls with no coordination between the two. She doesn’t know how strong of a stream you’re giving her and you can’t adjust it based on where she plans to point your dick.
Oh for sure. I was not expecting bullseye aim I’m able to get, but I wasn’t expecting it to be several feet off course lol.
As an aside to other replies in this, it very much is a learned skill. Having potty trained my son, it’s a skill very taken for granted. I think most men are able to piss in the dark without making any or very little mess. Especially in their own home(house layout familiarity akin to a blind person).
Reminds me of the almighty Hippopotamus doing the helicopter with his tail while taking a dump. Shit hits the fan. Shits supergreen too. When I see a pond full of algae I am careful, hippo might be closeby…
And the funny thing is, as over the top satirical as you’re being, it’s not actually bad advice. More people die from hippo attacks than sharks or alligators.
Hippos are big dumb assholes, but they are POWERFULL!!! You don’t fuck with hippos, you don’t fuck with moose, and you don’t fuck with polar bears.
You know that phrase about bears? If it’s it’s brown, lay down. If it’s black, fight back."? Well hippos have a phrase too.
“If it’s a hippo, fuck you!”
Luckily we only have the tardigrades where I am from, those microscopic bears.
Damn are you living in Earth’s upper atmosphere?
I feel like the plural of moose should be meese. Such an inconsistent language…
You should not go swimming in waters with a algae bloom anyways. Hippo or no hippo.
My wife asked for this. Lol
I’ve definitely let my wife write her name.
I’m going for a piss
Oh yeah, want some help with that?
Preschool Memes need to die, you can say ‘dick’ on the internet for fuck’s sake!
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I don’t like giving myself golden showers
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I think I’m gonna just cut out my eyes
Why tho? That was such a tame post
Melon baller
I do this alone for fun.
Stay back, cum walls. This is a piss ceiling house.
