Two hours ago I made a post to !libertyhub@lemmy.blahaj.zone about US politics. I had previously had a good relationship with the head moderator of this community. They’ve encouraged My political posts, and he’s removed comments by people that misgendered Me, and reminded people of My pronouns, like in this thread two days ago:
However, an hour ago in this new thread, the same moderator who was telling people to respect My capitalised pronouns uses lowercase pronouns to address Me:
And he has left up earlier comments which also seemed to misgender Me, and which I specifically pointed out:
Even as some users in the thread gender Me correctly:
I’m making this thread in the main community because since the mod has banned Me, I can no longer report the comment or leave a reply correcting the pronoun. I would like to gain the attention of @ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Misgendering trans people and banning Them at the same time so They can’t do anything about it is not the kind of thing I expect to see on Blahaj. This mod is clearly 100% aware of My pronouns, and made a choice here. I suppose they could be using the general “you”, but it just doesn’t look like that, what with banning Me, telling Me My post isn’t welcome, and telling Me to go to a different community. I used to have a good rapport with this mod, they said several times that they valued My posts. I posted something he disagrees with, and now all of a sudden respecting trans people’s pronouns isn’t a priority anymore. He’s misgendering Me and they’re leaving up comments that also misgender Me. It feels targeted.
EDIT: I cannot seem to embed images. Every time I hit edit and fix the image links and press save, they change to some kind of aussie.zone image proxy link. For now I have left them as links without embedding them.
I’ve never heard of using capitalized pronouns, would You mind sharing a bit more about why You use them?
No pressure at all, You obviously don’t have to explain or justify Yourself or Your identity to me or anyone, but I’ve done a bit of googling and the only references I can find are to deities and i genuinely would love to know more
Four years ago, I realised I was goddessgender, and My goddess-mother suggested I try out capitalised pronouns. They felt right, so I kept using them. The inspiration for Me to try out the pronouns came from My divinegender identity, but I don’t think of the two as equal. I think the statement “Gods are referred to with They/Them” is about as true as the statement “women are referred to with she/her”. I have met women who use he/him, men who use she/her, and enbies who use everything. But if your friend is coming out as transfeminine, it’s a good idea to suggest she/her, right? I think it’s the same with Me. My pronouns and My gender identity are not the same thing, they just happen to align, as most people’s pronouns and gender do. I hope that people can respect My pronouns without having to believe everything I believe about My gender. I think the reason we use someone’s preferred pronouns can just be “They like it”, and it doesn’t have to entail any kind of acceptance of a belief system. Likewise, I would immediately respect the preferred pronouns of any two-spirit or Bissu I met, despite not being a member of either religious system.
I wrote a couple of articles on the subject more broadly: https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/introduction-to-capitalised-pronouns-f5140e722b48, https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/on-spiritual-genders-b4152c4503cb
On My Discord server, The Outside, capitalised pronouns are the default for everyone and everything. We use the change to our language to provoke a change in thinking. It fills the air up with magic, which is very useful because it’s an occultist server. And it has the handy benefit of getting everyone used to capitalised pronouns without starting a fight. The rate of transphobia in the server is much lower than other queer spaces I’ve been.
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https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/did-trolls-go-extinct-commentary-on-partisan-realism-fa380ac4af4b
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*Your
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When I join a new space, I usually closet about My pronouns and other aspects of My identity on a hard or soft basis until I’ve made a decision to come out of the closet. Misgendering Myself is a safety measure to prevent harassment and abuse. When I am open about My pronouns, there are certain people who will decide to grill Me about every little perceived inconsistency to try to “gotcha” up an excuse to call Me a fake trans person. I usually only gender Myself correctly once I’ve decided to accept the risk of running into that kind of person.
Aside from judging a space to see if it’s safe, in some spaces it can help to introduce Myself closeted and then come out, rather than start out being honest about My identity. There’s a lot of people on sites like Lemmy that will call a new user who uses neopronouns a troll. Only being honest about My identity after I’ve proven I’m no troll is safer.
Do you care to not question trans people about Their pronoun usage like you’re fucking Sherlock Holmes? “care to explain” tf does that mean? Have They sufficiently explained the daily struggles of being trans to you or do you need a DNA and fingerprint test?
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That’s awesome! Thanks for explaining.
Thanks for taking the time to explain :)