“The hotel was perfect but the weather was bad.” 3/5
that’s the essence of many reviews unfortunately ha
Sometimes for gits and shiggles, I’ll check the one star reviews for things I know are going to trip inexperienced people up.
Like… It’s basically the “substituted flour with powdered eggplant and milk with tobacco sauce, 1/10 tasted horrible but I followed the recipe exactly” meme
Especially anything with DIY properties. “doesn’t work, connected to the battery and it immediately blew up” when it’s clear from the picture they hooked a 48v battery into a 12v speed controller. Or cut some wires they weren’t supposed to. Or reversed polarity of an important component. Or…
And rather than admit they fucked it up, they give bad reviews.
I particularly like when the listing is clearly for something that requires assembly, and bad reviews complain it came “in pieces”. READ, YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKERS
And if you see a bunch of bad grammar, and inconsistent specs in a listing… Maybe don’t put too much faith in the $5 item that would cost $100 if you bought it from a licensed and certified source with quality assurance…
What meme? I can’t find anything because it just keeps showing me eggplant recipes.
It’s probably great, but UPS lost it. 1/5. Would be 0/5 if I could give 0.
Why do they use [FedEx/UPS/USPS]?! [FedEx/UPS/USPS] can never find my house! [FedEx/UPS/USPS] is the WORST shipping service of all of them! Product is amazing though.
-three separate one-star reviews
POV: 3 separate 1-star reviews are as good as one 3-star review
Handjob afterwards
I can give myself a handjob. You want that fifth star you better get to suckin.
something something Marilyn Manson something something bottom two ribs
Meh that’s an old fake story.
The guy from Whitest Kids You Know on the other hand, he fell off a balcony after successfully giving himself a blowie.
Worth it
Dude was a sexual powerhouse. Rip
yeah iirc his will asked to be identified as “local sexpot” in the obituary.
Is that actually real? Googled it and I found the accident, but nothing about autofellatio
He did fall from a balcony. His fellow wkuk cast members said he died sucking his own dick as their way of honoring him with humor.
Lol I forgot about drowning in his own cum.
I give those guys so much respect for going through with honoring him like that. Not many people would actually do that after a close friend dies.
Pythons showing respect for Graham Chapman’s ashes.
yeah it’s probably bollocks but people of a…certain vintage can’t think of stories of sucking oneself off without making the link to big Brian himself.
Yes. Here’s a lovely song explaining it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6HQgKGOFHFE
One star off because the doctor is the one who hit them with a Mercedes
One way to get five star ratings would be climbing a tall building, enabling GOD MODE, and then blasting anything that moves with RPGs… At least that’s how I remember GTA San Andreas
That 5th star was for making his life worth saving.
There‘s an intrinsic bias to never (or rarely) give the maximum or minimum on a rating scale. source
I don’t bother writing a review unless it’s a one or five star. Maybe a particularly offensive two star
But really! In Japan, most people do 3 stars for great service. Most good businesses have 2.5-3.5 stars.
Imagine seen the light, feeling the peace and the BAM… an asshole saved your life. And he thinks he deserves 5 stars. The audacity
I worked in craft beer marketing for a while and the running joke about untapped was something like…
“Best lager I’ve ever had… I don’t like lagers. 1 star.”
I have no idea why my Uber rating (passenger) is 4.7.
2/5 passenger didn’t listen to me talk about <insert topic I know nothing about>
“Dr. Lewis saved my life!” One star, because they wanted to die
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Maybe it was just coincidence that the patient survived when Dr. Lewis intervened. Correlation is not causation, after all.
Did he check his whole island for weeds?
Have to do it again but this time do it under an hour.
Beating good old amputation speedrun with 300% mortality?
