My wife doesn’t like to be called madame, so I can her mad man. She actually prefers it.

I finally tried licking one recently, and it didn’t taste like anything

My girlfriend had computer RAM in her purse. That is now why she is my wife.

Through my mental fog lies a Souls boss waiting to destroy all who attempt to enter (including me).

The last lending library I saw had some religious discs placed inside them. Expected them to be of the usual Christian variety. Oddly enough, it was actually of some rabbi.

I was under the impression that Judaism wasn’t about proselytising. 🤷

Sounds like this brand name needs a new start.

A NEW START… Hmm…

I got it!

ANUSTART!

Awww…She looks just like you!

Any minute now…

Yeah. “They shouldn’t be above the law.” works better.

Just before the pandemic, I was at a restaurant. A couple was sitting next to me.

Woman: (Says something about Fiona)

Man: Who’s Fiona?

Woman: (Shocked, disgusted face) You don’t KNOW Fiona???

I bet she broke up with him on the spot.

Man, pop-up headlights are sexy

Me at the grocery store yesterday: “These cookies look delicious! And they’re 90% off!”

Wife: “Those are lactation cookies…”

Me: “I didn’t know that was a thing… They still look good though…”

People like this drive me crazy.

Years ago, a family member (who was on my mobile phone family account) was getting charged monthly for some mobile game. I would point it out every month, and they were like “Yeah…I need to cancel that…”

It took over a year for them to get around to canceling it.

All that fancy hardware in the pro, and only a handful of games will actually be “enhanced”. Otherwise, it “may stabilize or improve the performance of supported PS4 and PS5 games.”

Seems kind of a waste to me.

I know a medical coder that works exclusively with an ER. Oh the stories I’ve heard…

Earlier this week, YouTube for Android TV had an update that caused it to crash at startup.

On a hot steak there, Google…

I want this.

Me every morning