“mystery”
Nobody can possibly explain it.
Nobody is my favorite movie hero.
He doesn’t have to explain it’s understood
Alternative mysteries.
It’s almost a joke at this point
I’d guess they use this method rather than something else like poisoning whenever they want to make very apparent what happened, as a warning
i dunno. polonium poisoning usually makes it pretty self explanitory.
Yeah but who has a month to just wait around when there are dissidents that need defenstrating?
This guy poisons
It’s quite the signature.
Gravity poisoning is a real problem there.
…Along with Window Quality Control issues. Bad combo.
He needs Windows Recall
Then he can remember what things were like before he fell out of a window!
Is there a word for a form of government that rules entirely by throwing people out of windows?
Maybe “defenestrarchy”?
I bet it has a Ministry of Definistry.
*Defenestry
And boy, do they minister the defenestration. Internationally!
I seem to recall a few Russian heavy hitters falling from widows in India a few months back.
Defenestratiosis is a serious healthcare problem in Russia.
Have you or a loved one been diagnosed with defenestratiosis? You may be entitled to financial compensation, call the Kremlin now.
Have you or a loved one been diagnosed with defenestratiosis?
You may be entitled to financial compensationwe will reclaim all your assets for our compensation, call the Kremlin now.
Maybe Russians, especially ones who go against Putin, should avoid windows, what with their difficulty avoiding falling out of them.
Ah yes the classic story about the guy who asked for a suite without windows, and the concierge says: “Ah you want the polonium suite then!”.
Great advice. Wish it had worked for Navalny.
Where, like in the bunker?
Maybe just stay 10 feet away from the window? Or board it up!
I meant someone in particular if you know what I mean (;
Russia sure has a bad gravity problem.
Not really. Gravity and windows work as expected
And works all the way to India!
This is heavy, Doc!
ChatGPT has the explanation:
Why do Russians keep falling out of Windows?
The question of why Russians keep falling out of windows has sparked curiosity and concern. While it may seem like a peculiar phenomenon, there are several factors that contribute to this trend.
Criticism and Consequences
According to online forums and discussions, many Russians who have fallen out of windows have been critical of the government or have spoken out against certain policies. This raises questions about the potential connection between criticism and the likelihood of falling out of windows.
Construction and Climate
Another factor that may contribute to the prevalence of window falls is the construction quality and climate in Russia. The country’s harsh winters and shoddy building techniques can make windows prone to breaking or malfunctioning, increasing the risk of accidents.
Lack of Awareness and Stereotypes
Some people may view Russians who fall out of windows as prominent or significant figures, while others may not even be aware of their existence. This lack of awareness and the perpetuation of stereotypes can contribute to the widespread phenomenon.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the reasons behind Russians falling out of windows are complex and multifaceted. While criticism and consequences may play a role, construction quality and climate also contribute to the trend. It is essential to approach this phenomenon with sensitivity and understanding, avoiding stereotypes and stigmatization.
OpenAI really captured the essence of “oh shit I didn’t study for this exam at all so I’ll just try and bullshit my way through it”
That nails it exactly. “Complex and multifaceted” is the mantra of high schoolers everywhere.
total master at it
But it’s so dangerous and next month it will be able to do all our jerbs!!
Lmao windows prone to breaking
That’s not a bad explanation, but can we get our information from real humans please? I think Google has shown us very well why we shouldn’t trust AIs.
It is a bad explanation. The reason so many Russians fall out of windows is they’re thrown out.
But have you considered construction and climate?
And also it’s negative stereotyping to assume all Russians who fall out of windows are prominent or significant.
Some of them are shot, poisoned, murdered in prison, or have their planes blown up too.
Some of the Russians who fall out of windows are shot, poisoned, murdered in prison, or have their planes blown up too? Did they get pushed out of a first floor window and then Russia had to initiate the backup plan when they survived?
It’s so bad I posted it here for humorous effect.
How is it not bad?
… I think it’s the third reason. /j
Get Scooby-Doo and Mystery Inc. on it ASAP!
Putin: And I would’ve gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for you, meddling kids!
ruh roh
This happens more than usual in Russia. I wonder if Putin is concerned.
You’ve seen that huge conference table, right?
It’s not that he’s trying to be intimidating… he just wants a head start on running,
Yeah, he might need to use this justification to take over all of Europe, so that he can properly address window safety comprehensively.
This is why they say regulations are written in blood. Russia really needs to get on top of its building codes.
Oooo I love mysteries! I wonder how she fell
I postulate that she may have been pushed.
But who pushed it?
Not sure… Coastguard?
A bullet in the bqck of the head
Acute lead poisoning?
Most likely defenestrated.
More like profenestrated, amirite??
You couldn’t read to the second line of the article and assumed the judge is a he?
Did you mean to write “she” but accidentally wrote “he” instead?
No, the person I responded to edited their comment.
“Mystery”
exactly
Dem russian windows are so fucking dangerous, so many important people keep falling from them. Why won’t daddy puttin save them?
Did it ever happen that the same person accidentally fell out of the window multiple times in a row until they got it right?
Well, they tried to kill Rasputin a bunch of times, but never succeeded. I don’t know if they tried the window thing.
Unfortunately there isn’t actually much evidence for this being true, just some stories told by Russian soldiers who already hated and feared the guy. There were a lot of myths around the whole thing that mostly seem to be bs.
Basically “oooh big magician guy … scary, woooo… did you know the youngest daughter survived too?”
That said, I do not believe they attempted any window-hurling, that probably would have been a good test for magical powers.
No way, that would be ridiculous - instead they fall out of the next window down, which is like a totally different window. Possibly somehow along the way they also manage to shoot themselves in the back of the head, before falling out of the next window or down a flight of stairs. It’s still a “suicide” though, if you know what’s good for you (and your family).
