I figured a close stereotype for men, would be that they should all be farmers. The thing is, there are under two million farmers in the US as of 2023. So statistically, an equivalent occupation/role should have a larger number.
Men shouldn’t be allowed near children that aren’t their own. It’s rarely stated but regularly assumed.
This one fucking sucks… it’s especially awful for us beard havers.
I think it is more of the mustache only crowd that really faces a stigma about being good with kids.
My daughter is a very different skin colour than me. Somehow the worst I’ve encountered to date is an uppity mother who thought I was telling off a random child.
I think you were implying something different, but I feel like I get a ton of odd comments suggesting it’s weird for me to be out with my own kid. Things like “giving mom the day off?” or “what happened to his mom?”.
I had friends complain about this kind of thing before I had kids and I thought that they were exaggerating. Nope, it’s all over the place. It’s certainly not everyone, but it is much more common than I expected.
I’m 33 and never seen this IRL. Weird. Only heard people mention it online. Must be that thing that doesn’t actually happen and is only perceived on the web.
It’s likely a cultural thing. I’ve noticed it in urban Canada, myself.
A man smiling at a child who looks at him will get glares or weird looks from the parent. A woman smiling at a child who looks at her will be nothing out of the ordinary. The same man is “allowed” to smile at children if he’s with a woman and/or a kid of his own.
Before I had a kid, I heard this was a thing, but didn’t really care as I didn’t really have a desire to be around kids. Once I became a father, I realized a lot of people make strange assumptions about men around small humans. Its certainly not most people, but definitely some, and definitely not just online.
“Women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” transcribes to “Men should be shirtless and mentally ill in the garage.”
As a millennial, if I could afford a house, I PROMISE you I wouldn’t also be able to afford mental health treatments, or a shirt.
So this tracks…if I could get a house.
I’m a Millenial with a house, but no garage. So, I’m shirtless and mentally ill under the carport.
You are going to be the best uncle that nobody trusts their kid with after what happened last time they had you watch their house. You have an important role in the community, selling illegal fireworks to bored teens.
Honestly, if you’re a millenial in this economy something is wrong with you if you aren’t at least a little crazy.
The stress is fucking unreal.
Clearly you just need to be a man and work harder and more hours, at the expense of your mental health, to be a better provider because that is your only value to your family. The more emotionally shut-off and weekday war-torn you are, the better the space in which you can escape work and home stress by self-isolating and self-medicating with alcohol. Your chosen man-cave is totally not a place to hide your emotional breakdowns where you silently sob as you suffer the masculine burdens of building stress and feelings of inadequacy alone. Just remember, communicating your feelings is what women do; men dig their grave faster and deeper because that takes manly strength.
…with the exception of having a family vs living alone, you just described what my life would be life without medical issues. I mean,it’s still mostly what you said. You just left out the part about not affording to be able to pay medical bills too.
You made the classic weak feminine male mistake of going to the doctor. A real man never goes to the doctor because you are fine and you just need to be strong and it will go away because it is just a benign affliction. You can’t burden your family with worry or medical debt if you don’t go to the doctor, that’s just science. Weak men are worried about their health before it is too late, strong men fight treatable or curable undiagnosed illnesses until it kills them like a man. Just remember, a real man gets diagnosed before retirement by a coroner.
Retirement??? No. My generation doesn’t get that.
That’s the neat part, death is the retirement.
Honestly, us millenials not having houses is probably a huge win for climate change… if I had the space to setup up a forge and learn metalworking I don’t think I’d be able to resist. “But I can do it in minecraft…”
Oh my god. We’re going to have a story soon where a bunch of 35 year olds buy a vacant plot of land, and then dig downwards. Then they’ll disrupt some plumbing, or cables run underground, or gas pipes. SOMETHING bad will be cut, and when they get questioned, they’ll say they were strip mining for diamonds.
So… wanna go in on a vacant plot of land?
Obviously!
Realistically, you only need a garage
You might just have to move out of the city, things get way cheaper when you go rural, plus it opens you up for usda loans.
They’re for rural areas and they will put down 100% of your down payment, but your credit score has to be right and you have to find a nice house, like really nice.
The one I am about to buy was approved for a usda loan, until they found out that 1 corner of the crawlspace was technically in a 1 in a 100 year flood zone.
If that doesn’t work you can try fha, their guidelines are a little more lax, but you have to put 3.5% down.
That’s what I am using and I know that my rent for the next 30 years is fixed until my mortgage insurance falls off.
That is with no adjustment for inflation either.
So if shit spikes again, at least my rent effectively got cheaper.🤣😂😞😢
Who said it needs to be your garage?
A “garage” means any space a man can claim as his own to self-isolate and cry quietly in. Be it a garage, basement, shed, or man-cave. As long as he can suffer silently and nobody knows, he is a strong man and every strong man needs his “garage”.
@Death_Equity did.
Does being mentally ill in my own room count too?
So long as you are alone, your realized value has the ability to provide for a hypothetical family, and your liver can tank a half a bottle of brown liquor a night without the spins.
Men should swallow their feelings and go break their bodies and mind for a paycheck. Then die younger because of it.
We’re looking for fake answers, not real ones.
Protectors & providers
It’s one of the worst kind of inequality which women don’t (or rarely) ever examine and question if it’s compatible with modern ideas
Men should all be (the sole) breadwinners.
That men should be able to fix things and be mechanically inclined.
Yup, I have an essential tremor and fucking hate that one. I don’t mind strength based tasks… but if I try and screw in a light bulb I’ll probably crush it accidentally… don’t even get me started on appliances like blenders and shit - in the best case scenario I’ll brick the device… but I’ll probably injur myself.
I mean no offense at all, and feel free not to answer, but how do you type?
Is it like a special keyboard, voice to text, or do I just completely misunderstand what you mean?
At the moment it comes and goes with stress, as my dad aged it became more and more common but I can usually manage to type (with a lot of autocorrect help and backspace). It also varies with hand posture and that sort of clamping grip really makes me unsteady (for this reason scrubing potatoes is actually extremely difficult for me).
It’s a neurological thing - almost certainly - so I only know what I’ve observed.
A friends son has this. It’s a little disconcerting to watch a 25 year old shaking like they have Parkinsons. He seems to rely on large muscle movements and catching things as they go by rather than steadying in on something.
Men should be climbing the corporate ladder
Aside… as a technical expert, can I just mention that the fact that we envision it as a “corporate ladder” is the biggest fucking load of bullshit?
I can confidently state that I’m much more competent than my fucking CEO.
It’s more like a pyramid
It’s more like a puddle - my point is that hierarchies are bullshit.
Sounds like a scheme
no, its not a pyramid!! its called multi-level companies!!
In my area it would be something like “Men should go to war”.
Men bring home enough bacon for the whole household to live off comfortably.
And go off to die in wars.
I think I’d just get tired of bacon.
That’s like getting tired of having sex.
I see you’ve met my ex wife.
Heresy
That every man has to be a breadearner, a handyman and be able to physically defend their home&family.
Anecdotal, being from Louisiana, this is what I’ve been pressured with my entire life.
Doing manual labor in general, not just farming. Or being in charge at work
Have to be a raging bull of testosterone and manly interests while also being a round the clock worker to be a breadwinner and also being a father figure to any children in your life on demand
Men not being allowed to be emotionally expressive has led to so many mental health problems…
The most direct I can think of is that men should be the sole breadwinner of their family, and that if his wife earns more than him (or even has a job at all) then that’s some kind of failing on his part.
There are many other similar stereotypes. For example:
That men have an obligation to defend their/their significant other’s ‘honor’ with violence.
That men shouldn’t cry or otherwise show strong emotion under nearly any circumstance.
Men shouldn’t want to interact with children, especially other people’s kids.
I can go on all day.
If you’re not useful, you’re a burden.
Well, this one’s not entirely false, but also not solely applicable to men
