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If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.
Been feeling a little bit weird gender-wise the past couple days. Yesterday especially was a “butch” day for me, spent a lot of time working in the garden in my overalls, talked to my neighbor in boy-mode. I can’t bring myself to tell them I’m transitioning because they’re a right-wing sovereign citizen and I think it would probably kill an otherwise cooperative and amicable relationship (don’t exactly want to feel unsafe in my own home). Still, it’s getting harder to hide my breasts and my face is obviously different after almost 5 months of HRT.
Managed to get my name changed with my employer after getting my updated social security card. Mailed off my passport and waiting for that.
Also learned that my state recently passed legislation that prevents me from updating my gender marker on any legal forms of ID, so I won’t be able to update my gender marker on my driver’s license. I think it’s probably illegal and there is already a lawsuit by the ACLU, so I’m basically just waiting for the litigation to overturn the new law.
Otherwise I have unprecedented amounts of energy and ability to handle stress. I’ve been baking a lot for other people, and going to a lot of social events, even opting to go to social events on my own (something I have never done in my life; I only have ended up in social situations through obligation and pressure from others in the past). Life is really different on estrogen, much better than I could have anticipated.