I thinking about trying to start with HRT earlier than I previously planned. My plan was to start transitioning after I become financially independant but when I think about that it would take at least 5 years until I start taking hormones but 6 years looks more realistic. Not sure that I can wait that long. This options isn’t out of the question because it may actually be the best one but I’m not so sure about it anymore.

Main problem is that I really want to be feminine but my musculine body is getting in my way all the time, no matter how feminine I feel from some things my body still brings dysphoria. I can’t feel like myself because of it.

I searched for stories of trans women from my country to get more information about the way trans women are treated here and it looks like situation is better than I tought, coming out might not be as bad as I expected. From what I heard even older people in rural areas were supportive of trans women.

When I look at my situation only person I could come out is my mother if I approach the conversation in a right way. I know that it would be hard for her, but if I explain to her what being trans actually means and how I feel about myself she might come around it. Not really sure what’s the best way to do it. I can try giving some resources to her but that wouldn’t be that easy because she knows only 1 language and it’s not english. Connecting her with other parents of trans girls could also work. Also, I’m not sure is it good idea to don’t force her on using different pronouns and name at first to make things a bit easier for her.

One important note is that even if I decide to come out that won’t be now because I’m not ready for it yet, I would wait for some time (not too long thou).

Reason why I’m talking about coming out here is because doing that first would make medical transition easier. In my country, gender affirming care is only available in capital. Since I’m 18 going there isn’t really a problem but the fact that it would mean going there often and I don’t do that normally is a problem. If I started seeing a therapist my parents would quickly think that something is odd basically forcing me to come out, that would be much worse than coming out when I’m ready. I’m still considering starting without anyone knowing but in that case I would quickly come out to avoid worst case scenario.

Basically, I’m not sure how to go with this. Should I wait? Should I come out (and how)? Or should I start in secret and come out quickly after that?

In case it matters, gender affirming care in my country includes seeing a psychiatrist for at least a year, after that you start with hormones and after 1 year of hormones and more talking with psychiatrist you can do SRS. After SRS you can change gender marker and name (you can’t change musculine name to feminine one before SRS).