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Hey, shit happened to me as well… deadbeat obese mom…
Buuut, I wanted him to have his mom by his side… no matter how offputting and lazy she is… so, we make it work (kinda… not really… I do it for the kid, OK 😭?!).
I have a shit mom and a great dad. They got divorced when I was fairly young. I still have a relationship with both of them, but thank god for my good dad because I’m not sure I would be an okay person without him. One good parent can be enough to keep you sane. So keep it up, you can do it :)
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Of course, I do it every time and at every occasion I get 😊. I love him to death 😊.
That doesn’t mean I’m not strict. He knows the rulebook, we draw and make shapes and color before TV or whatnot… not that his mom taught him any of that 🤬. She just switches on the TV and call it a day.
Anyway, he still loves having her arround… for moral support or whatever… and he sees other kids do fun stuff with mom and dad, and he wants that as well… and he has only dad in that scenario, but mom is still around… mostly… with a cigarette in her mouth and on her phone doomscrolling 😒… but yeah, she is present.
I am trying not to kill myself solwly by focusing on the kid, what he wants to do and finds interesting, so that keeps my mind off current events… it works… for the time being…
Dude, you have some serious decisions to face that you’ve been putting off. Don’t hide behind “doing it for my child,” make good decisions that are right for you and in the end they’ll be good for your kid too, whether or not there’s short term pain.
I have been thinking about it, trust me. The situation got even more complex a few days ago (I could go into detail, but it really is a long story and I would like to tell the full story with all the details, but I just don’t have the time now). Basically, I’m now left with the option of, one, stay with her and probably suffer till he’s of age to decide which parrent he wants to be with (about 6 more years), or, two, I leave her now, roll the dice for custody and thow away a lot of money for lawyers (which I don’t have) and she probably kills herself at the end (when she looses the custody battle)… the situaton is very complex, I know that this might sound like I’m overreacting, but I’m not. The full story is far far more gruesome.
And I’m also thinking about his reaction to her being either gone from his life or not very present… an oportunity presented itself a few days ago, and I’ll monitor his reactions… still, we’ll see… I know I’ll hate myself if rip her away from his life, but I’ll have to access her influence on him and does the good outweigh the bad in her… we’ll see…
sounds like you’re doing a good job being a dad, kids lucky to have you :)
I hope I am… I really do… I think I’m doing OK, but I always consult other people and elderly people that have raised at least a few kids, and then kinda make my own mash of all of the info, take into account my son’s personality and come up with a “formula”… it is a lot of work though, parrenting didn’t really come naturally to me, I really had no idea how to approach a baby from a psychological development perspective. Diapers, eating, cuddling, cramps, that stuff’s easy. Starting to teach him things, that was the hard part for me… quite frankly, I was lost… she was freaking nowhere to be found regarding this, so I had no help from her… so I just started watching people in the park with babies, while we were having a stroll, do what they are doing with their kids. That was my starting point, and it was hard, but it got easier as I got more into it 😊.
hell yea man, like I said, kids lucky to have a dad that tries as hard as you do :)
Thank you, it means a lot 😊.
Giving a young person two sets of perspective is often as valuable as having a stable nuclear family. Good work.
Thay may be true, but I can’t in good conscience deny him the right to be with his mother every day… at least not for the time being… things are unfolding as we speak and I’ll have to wait and see the epilogue of these new events to draw a concrete conclusion.
Was this on Reddit? I know there are some communities there that actively reward users with upvotes for ragebaitey content.
Oh you mean all of them?
Yep, reddit content… just thought it was intersting.
I know we are the BetterThanReddit website, but let’s not act like Lemmy is immune from this
People probably post ragebait here too, but there’s a built-in incentive on Reddit, particularly on subreddits like AITA or the Tenth Dentist, where users are encouraged to up vote the most ‘interesting’ posts, even if they find it offensive. Maybe the equivalents here also have this policy, but upvotes mean a lot more on Reddit than here—some subreddits require a high amount of karma to post, and posting something that’s guaranteed to get passed around and upvoted a ton can get people enough karma to make many more posts, have a buffer in place in case a different comment gets downvoted, or just want a lot of karma for bragging rights. Hell, you can even monetize upvotes now, in some cases.
Here on Lemmy, upvotes mainly just pass your content around for the sake of passing it around. Maybe there’s an algorithm that is more likely to push an unrelated post you made to the top, but the benefits for posting ragebait here aren’t as many as they are on Reddit.
Gotta be trolling, right? Right?
Well, those pregnancy hormones can bring on some unhinged thought patterns but this is Disney villain levels.
Yeah, the fiancé misspellings give it away, too intentional.
It also seems like they want someone to reply “*fiancé” so people can reply in turn like “out of all the problems you could have with this story…”
It might be, but the wicked step-parent stereotype is unfortunately very grounded in reality.
Man, is that guy screwed. What a horrible, horrible person. And he’s having a kid with her so she’s going to be in his life even if he bailed on the marriage (which I hope he did).
I drink a lot. Mostly to forget.
But sometimes I drink so much, I don’t remember what I was trying to forget.
Now I remember.
I need a drink.
jokes aside please don’t let this shit be real
Bait
Some people shouldn’t have children.
Well that’s fairly rage inducing.
Everybody is like “This is totally rage bait!” and while, yes, it probably is, this is more common than you’d think. My step-dad tried everything to get my mom to give me up. And treated me like shit. She stayed with him and had two kids by him, but I grew up being treated like an afterthought by both of them. Now I’m 30 and no contact with my mom, meanwhile he’s six feet under. And he deserved it.
Man… excuse my French, but your mother is… I would rather not say it…
A bitch
he tried everything to give you up except for leaving the fucking relationship apparently.
Comedy writes itself sometimes.
This troll has to be so happy to see their troll post still lives. Let it die.
This is literally the plot to Snow White.
Shit posters are gonna shit post.
You’d think they’d talk about this before she got pregnant.
So the poor guy can escape? Nah gotta chain him before you reveal how horrible you are.
Not enough real world social engineering dating experience leads to this… as it did with me as well.
Is she a telenovela character?
Or maybe a bear or something
My advice is that she get help from a therapist that specializes in cluster B personality disorders. Preferably all of them 'cuz holy fuck.
This reads like most fake-ass rage bait on reddit. Please tell me Lemmy isn’t going to start lapping this shit up too…
I like to think “faincé” use pronounced like “fancy”.
