Without a family as in fully on your own since legal age, be it kicked out / had to leave at 18 or from a foster background, or from an orphanage.

  • @TheAlbatross
    27•1 month ago

    Pretty good! I was kicked out of home at 17 and finished high school by floating between friends houses. Doing that, I met someone who helped me get into a college, tho I couldn’t afford to pay for more than a year. I was briefly homeless, but I had a car (ideal), but now I live in a lovely single family home with my boyfriend and another couple. I worked my way up from a sales job into a management role at a company and I don’t have to do all that much daily. I’ve made a network of friends who have become my found family and I love them very much.

    Holidays are a bit strange. I disliked them for a while, but I later learned it was less that I disliked the holiday and traditions, but I disliked being alone. People go back to their bio families for holidays and I just can’t do that. Being Jewish made this a little trickier, as even when non-Jewish friends wanted to participate (which was so wonderful and sweet and made me cry multiple times) you have to teach them the traditions and how to say things in Hebrew or Yiddish. Imagine celebrating every holiday with your young nieces and nephews who need to be taught what to do. Finding and befriending more Jews really helped with that as I can usually tag along with their families.

    There’s times when it’s clear my experiences are different from most others. When people talk about family, I often misjudge the importance or weight of those conversations and the behaviors around families. I’ll hear someone complain about the horrendous things their sister or brother are doing and how they help them anyway and I’m baffled. I don’t entirely know what to say and how to be empathetic in the right way when someone’s aunt or parent dies. I don’t understand the anxiety someone has when their mother visits.

    But I think I’ve successfully built my own little family community. A group of beloved friends for whom I’d do anything and vice versa. It took about a decade, but it’s come together well and I don’t feel some deep longing for a blood related family connection because I have them and they have me.