So this is a bit of a long one but things haven’t been going well for me at all lately.
So things have basically been crumbling around me for a while now. First my now ex leaves me and just fucks up my mental health for a month or so. To the point where I’d spend at least 2 hours crying daily.
Then my best friend proves he’s a bigoted asshole. Parents do usual shit messing me up further.
Now not only I see that nearly all my IRL friends are bigots. Then I just have a breakdown over body hair. Odk why I just hate everything about my shitty body. I hate this weak fat ugly sack of meat I call my body.
Then with basically 0 warning the only support network I had in mastodon blows up in my face because of sexual jokes I made and properly tagged.
The second I get comfortable with something it just blows up in my face. I’m honestly surprised I haven’t hung myself yet
The part that makes me sad mostly is how basically all my friends but 1 use the anti gay f slur really often. I can give you some examples if you want to know
Personally I would not be able to call those people friends. In addition to being, you know, extremely offensive, hearing people use slurs like that is dehumanizing and invalidating. I would encourage you to either get other friends or have frank discussions with your current ones about boundaries and what they can and can’t say to you.
You may not be in a situation where it is practical to do that. If it is practical, don’t let confidence be what stops you.
Thing is I’m not out to them and don’t plan to come out. Basically this is the average situation. This happened some time ago. So a “friend” of mine decided to hug me and felt the need to point out that in his words translated to English “this is a hug of friends not of (fslur)”
I’m kinda lonely tbh don’t know what to do