My ex pestered me for a good while with a fantasy: she wanted me to force her to have sex any day she didn’t want to. I wasn’t exactly eager to try this, but it wasn’t a problem because we were having sex every day.
But the day came, and I said “well, she’s been asking for a while, let’s get this over with”. She didn’t need much convincing, I just grabbed her by the back of her neck and told her we were going to have sex no matter whether she wanted or not and that was it (she was quite submissive in bed).
After we were done I had a weird feeling because that’s not something I like to do, but I thought “at least I’ve fulfilled her fantasy and now she’s happy”, right?
Well, no. She was angry at me and when I told her “but you’ve been asking for this for months!” she answered “yeah, but I wasn’t in the mood for it today!”.
Yeah, I’ve always felt like forced sex sounds hotter than it actually is. It sounds so romantic, and everyone thinks they can get in the mood as soon as their partner wants them, but the reality doesn’t quite line-up the same. A pretty key part of any consensual non-consent is setting up a word to break the scene though, so I dunno if I’d beat yourself up too much about it. If she wasn’t in the mood, she should have let you know.
I did try to set a safe word prior to that incident but she laughed it off and said we didn’t need one. Fortunately things never got really ugly, even if this is not the only crazy fantasy she pestered me with.
See, I’m easy. As long as it’s purely in a sexual context, I won’t be mad. I might say “No” or “Not right now,” but as long as my partner is saying it from a place of genuine horniness, they can go nuts.
Is this so much to ask for? Someone who will treat me with respect while also sexual degrading me when I want it?
My ex pestered me for a good while with a fantasy: she wanted me to force her to have sex any day she didn’t want to. I wasn’t exactly eager to try this, but it wasn’t a problem because we were having sex every day.
But the day came, and I said “well, she’s been asking for a while, let’s get this over with”. She didn’t need much convincing, I just grabbed her by the back of her neck and told her we were going to have sex no matter whether she wanted or not and that was it (she was quite submissive in bed). After we were done I had a weird feeling because that’s not something I like to do, but I thought “at least I’ve fulfilled her fantasy and now she’s happy”, right?
Well, no. She was angry at me and when I told her “but you’ve been asking for this for months!” she answered “yeah, but I wasn’t in the mood for it today!”.
Yeah, I’ve always felt like forced sex sounds hotter than it actually is. It sounds so romantic, and everyone thinks they can get in the mood as soon as their partner wants them, but the reality doesn’t quite line-up the same. A pretty key part of any consensual non-consent is setting up a word to break the scene though, so I dunno if I’d beat yourself up too much about it. If she wasn’t in the mood, she should have let you know.
I did try to set a safe word prior to that incident but she laughed it off and said we didn’t need one. Fortunately things never got really ugly, even if this is not the only crazy fantasy she pestered me with.
Yikes, laughing at wanting a safe word is a huge red flag IMO. Sounds like you dodged a bullet in the end.
The best part is, she’s 15 years older than me, she should have been more experienced and level-headed about her kinks.
I’m a bit slow, it took me a decade to dodge it.
Safewords 😱
I tried ^_^
I want that too!
The problem is it is very hard to tell when you want it.
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Bitch?
this is the politest “bitch” I’ve ever read.
See, I’m easy. As long as it’s purely in a sexual context, I won’t be mad. I might say “No” or “Not right now,” but as long as my partner is saying it from a place of genuine horniness, they can go nuts.
Nuts…
Please clean up the mess. You can’t just go nutting everywhere you please!