How quick is quick? I have a heated dry box, so all new filament gets at least a 24 hour spa treatment. If I know it’s wet, it lives in it until color indicating silica gel no longer changes, then another day for good measure.

What matters most is you’re doing something now! My wife and I have been together for over a decade and she’s only now starting to really work on her issues. I love her and we’re still together. She’s also not the sole source of issues, just the main source of ADHD issues, which is why she was thrown under the bus (for educational purposes). I contribute plenty, just as I suspect your partner does too. Don’t beat yourself up.

One thing that has been helpful for me is taking an objective as possible accounting of positive and negative contributions to the relationship, with what is being done to address anything seriously negative. It’s a good reference when I’m feeling emotionally overwhelmed or am mentally beating myself or my wife up, which is never helpful.

I have ADHD, as does my wife. Here’s what we’ve learned.

First and foremost, handle your ADHD. It doesn’t just go away on its own. You might medicate it away for awhile, but it’s progressive and it’ll be back. You need a combination of strategy, lifestyle changes, and medication. A therapist experienced with ADHD is great, but literature exists if therapy isn’t affordable.

My wife is a great example of what not to do. She never pursued therapy, doesn’t take great care of herself, and never developed any coping strategies past popping more pills without taking medication breaks. Now she’s at the maximum dose of adderall combined with strattera and it’s not cutting it. Since her ADHD is out of control, she’s having difficulty developing strategies to handle her situation and it is torture for both of us. Similarly, if you have any emotional trauma, get on that now. These things only become more impactful and harder to handle with time.

No one makes assumptions. We don’t make inferences, we don’t play guessing games, we don’t try to read minds. If one partner doesn’t directly request something, they have no right to be upset if they don’t get it. If one doesn’t directly state something, they have no right to be upset if it isn’t understood. It’s nice when my partner anticipates my needs, but it’s unreasonable to expect them to.

Have regular, formalized meetings to discuss needs and the state of your relationship. Important communications are finalized in  impersonal, precise, “business style” writing and made accessible. We’ve had far too many agreements that led to conflict when it turned out someone later mixed up details or never understood to begin with. We have a giant dry erase board in the dining room where important reminders are left.

Why not both? The amount of time and effort required for me to support a likely unsuccessful impeachment attempt is negligible, but it does make me feel just a smidge better.

Does the oval office even have a couch, though?

Apparently the developer did this all on their phone. I can’t even imagine.

I thought I recognized the little bag gnome!

About a year. It was a really toxic relationship. It started when I was 20 and my ex was about 26. I was enamored of them and they took advantage of this to reel me in, then manipulate me.

Warning: mildly entertaining breakup story follows.

We actually split up because we were fighting about living together. We had been together for about four years. They had never moved out of their parent’s place so, at almost 30, had no experience with housing or self sufficiency. They wanted to find an upscale house being let for about the price of a 1 bedroom apartment. Seriously, I’m not exaggerating. After three months of looking with no housing miracles in sight, I tried to impress upon them that what they wanted wasn’t going to happen. They got very upset. When I asked them to come over so we could discuss, they did - and broke it off.

20 years later, I can recognize what a massive favor they did for me. To be fair, I was also crazier than a sack of cats, but who in their early twenties isn’t? I hit therapy hard and got myself straightened out. Highly recommended.

Hah! You get two signal words with GHS: caution or danger. Caution is low stakes, where you might get skin irritation or maybe a mild burn. Danger is supposed to clue you in that it will fuck you up, but there’s no indicator of magnitude of fuck you up. Will it just give you a bad burn or will it melt your skin off while intercalating with your DNA?

I always wanted a third “oh helllll no” category for the really awful substances. For things like tert-Butyl hydroperoxide (it’s a straight 4-4-4) or Osmium tetroxide.

Where they’ll hire him as a consultant.

This is actually my field of work. The composite method queermunist is referencing is the industry best practice for exterior hazard labeling. NFPA diamonds don’t always or even often give first responders enough information to enter a building, so there’s no utility to multiple diamonds. Responders really don’t care how many chemicals are in a facility so much as what they are, and not many facilities actually using chemicals are set up in such a way that your example of encountering one chemical then another would work. They’re just everywhere, even during normal operations due to distributed storage and distribution systems.

What these signs do is alert them to the degree of danger inside so they can make decisions, e.g., enter if just flammable, avoid water use, or (most common of all) to act as a reference to ask the building owner more questions before doing anything at all.

You have good instincts - that’s also what NFPA recommends. This isn’t a typical presentation as usually it’s one diamond with the worst score of all present chemicals in each category.

You CAN list them individually but it’s a pain in the ass for both the building owner and first responders. The whole point is to quickly convey the level of hazards in the building for emergencies. They need to know if they need more information before entering. 2+ diamonds doesn’t provide any additional useful data and makes it harder to interpret in a rush.

What’s interesting is they could have made one compound NFPA diamond that encompasses the worst ratings of everything in the building instead of two individual diamonds. The primary intent of these on buildings is to inform first responders of what they might be rushing into.

Chlorine trifluoride! Nasty, NASTY shit. Guess which industry I worked in as safety!

Edit: I remembered this quote about ClF₃ from John D. Clark’s book “Ignition!” and wanted to share. For the non-scientists, hypergolic means it’ll ignite on contact with another substance without an outside energy source, like a spark.

It is, of course, extremely toxic, but that’s the least of the problem. It is hypergolic with every known fuel, and so rapidly hypergolic that no ignition delay has ever been measured. It is also hypergolic with such things as cloth, wood, and test engineers, not to mention asbestos, sand, and water-with which it reacts explosively. It can be kept in some of the ordinary structural metals-steel, copper, aluminium, etc.-because of the formation of a thin film of insoluble metal fluoride which protects the bulk of the metal, just as the invisible coat of oxide on aluminium keeps it from burning up in the atmosphere. If, however, this coat is melted or scrubbed off, and has no chance to reform, the operator is confronted with the problem of coping with a metal-fluorine fire. For dealing with this situation, I have always recommended a good pair of running shoes.

Same! While playing the intro, one of the guards just slid to the right as the emperor power walked through them. I had a good laugh.

https://archive.ph/iSG7w

For anyone else who doesn’t want an account but wants to read the article.

Seeing you post this in response to multiple posts is the highlight of my day.

Trauma that can give the same responses.

That’s me! Early in therapy for CPTSD, we spent some time trying to determine if I’m autistic or just have autistic tendencies due to CPTSD. Turns out it was the latter.