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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 7th, 2023

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  • I was lucky enough to hear him play this live in Hunter Mountain, NY a few years back. I saw him, Tom Petty (RIP) and Steve Miller Band, all in one weekend, and (imo), Frampton put on the best show. It was a daytime show, it was raining, and he kept playing.

    When he got to Black Hole Sun, he opened with a very heartfelt message about looking after each other and ourselves and getting help when we need it. And then, as he started to play and led everyone in singing the lyrics, the clouds split for one shining moment, and we had rain and sunlight pouring down on the whole area surrounding the stage.

    One of the most memorable concert moments I have ever experienced. Thank you for sharing this and reminding me of that amazing moment.


  • As someone who has suffered from night terrors and other disturbingly vivid dreams, I would recommend starting to do “wake checks”.

    Set an alarm on your phone to go off every few hours at random times during the day. When the alarm goes off, do something that produces a reliable result, like turning a light on/off, turning on a faucet, checking the time on a clock, or pinching yourself. Make your checks as varied as possible, and do them in a different order from day to day, because you don’t want the results to become part of a pattern.

    Once you are in the habit of doing that, start doing those checks any time something ‘out of the norm’ happens. What ‘out of the norm’ means is up to you, but essentially any time you think that something is weird or out of place, do a check. What you are doing is training yourself to check whether you are in reality or not.

    Once you start doing that, you will probably continue that habit when you end up in a dream. However, these checks will not produce reliable results when you do them in a dream. Turning on the faucet won’t make it give water, the time will change drastically, lights won’t turn on when you flip the switch, etc. These are now your cues to see if you are awake or not. If one of these things ever DOES start to give reliable results in a dream, stop using it immediately and substitute a different one.

    Once you have a way of determining if you are awake or not, you have a way to wake up. Most people wake up after realizing they are in a dream, and even if you don’t, realizing you are dreaming should result in a massive shift in what is happening in the dream.

    One warning though: if you have night terrors where you end up paralyzed, you will want to have a contingency plan. My night terrors usually started in a situation where I was unable to move, and that is the main reason I struggled with them for over a decade. The only thing that helped there was meditation where I would focus on “feeling” my fingers and toes and how they moved, and then getting myself in the habit of using that meditation as an anxiety response. Doing that in a dream will usually end up waking me up because it forces my brain to focus and eventually move my body irl.


  • Assuming that this would cover all past legal names as well (as I have had a grand total of four, different first and last names): still not a lot.

    I have changed a lot since I first started posting things on the web, and I am embarrassed about some of the older stuff that I said before I learned more about certain subjects. But (as far as I can remember), the worst comments I ever made were ones in defence of outlawing abortion, and even those I never posted hate in.

    So, given that those few comments are vastly outnumbered by my more recent comments explaining why my previous stance was nonsensical, I would probably have to be more afraid of someone threatening me for being a trans person who advocates for bodily autonomy as a basic and inalienable human right.


  • I am short with a somewhat femme figure, sparse but obvious facial hair, a flat chest, and a voice that sounds somewhere between a very gay man, a 13 year old boy, and an older woman. I am very visibly crossing many lines that people look for when trying to figure out how to address someone. Meaning, in a time when attacks on trans people and our rights are very quickly ramping up, I am in more danger of harassment and assault than I have been in the last few years.

    As far as who is looking out for me: I am, that is part of my goal, but I also have a husband and a few friends who I can ask for help. However, I am in a slightly better position in life than most trans people in this country, since I live in a blue state that is (probably) unlikely to strip me of my rights. Hence my focus on helping others. There will probably be a lot of people coming here for medical treatment, and I want to make sure I help in any way I can.



  • I would love to, and when I buy a house sometime in the future that is a major consideration for me. Unfortunately, right now I have to live where I can afford to. I have had to move almost every year since graduating college and have never been able to take that into consideration due to finances. Even now, hubby and I will likely be given his parents’ current house that is much further away from our friends, and we are taking the opportunity because we can’t afford not to.




  • Chalky foods (merengues, smartie candies, antacids, etc). I also hate the sound of chalk being used. It makes my teeth hurt.

    Blue LEDs that aren’t properly balanced (they give me migraines)

    Electricity whining (I can hear this almost anywhere inside)

    Dense fleeces (they make me itchy regardless of material)

    Turtlenecks (I feel like I am choking)






  • My husband deals with that, and one thing that has helped him quite a bit is setting alarms. If he knows he is taking on an extended task, he will set an alarm on his phone for every hour or so. When it goes off, it distracts him from whatever he was doing and interrupts anything he is watching, so he is reminded to get back on task.

    Another tool is accountability to another person. If he is having a bad focus day, he will sometimes ask me to bug him if I notice he is distracted for too long. Use this sparingly. I have been this person for a few people with ADHD, and using this too often has resulted in me being responded to like a parent asking their kid to stop playing games and eat their dinner. You don’t want to end up viewing your friends and partners as though they are an authority figure.




  • At a local-ish chain called Tops, mostly. I live in Upstate New York if anyone wants to look them up. Pretty standard grocery with decent daily prices, and they still run weekly deals and coupons in the paper like most places used to do about 20 years ago. Even with my dietary restrictions, I can get most of my groceries there for a decent price.

    Anything I don’t get there, I get at the other local brand called Wegmans. They are pricey, but have more specialty food, partnerships with local farms for really good seasonal produce, and some items that they have made for their own name-brand that are cheaper than the big name alternative.

    I also make it a point to stop at farmers markets and the like throughout the year. Most of them have partnered with programs that allow you to use, and even double, your food stamps/EBT (I don’t use it but give rides to friends who do), and getting to connect with the local farmers is always nice.


  • As a trans man who is active in kink circles, this is one thing that I am constantly advocating for. The good news is that, as far as I can tell, men are more likely to listen and at least attempt to understand and embrace this than they have been in the past. Even compared to just a decade ago, more men are willing to investigate what they are attracted to in other people, regardless of gender, and much more appreciative of compliments from other men.

    Thank you for sharing this. I will definitely be going through the other videos, and recommending this to others.


  • Thankfully it won’t, but I had to deal with more of their shenanigans.

    Did you know that they refuse to transfer a prescription if they haven’t filled it at least once? I had to call the urgent care clinic back and have them transfer it instead.

    Bless the retail pharmacy worker who walked me through how to get everything in order and got me discount coupons. It took them 30 minutes to fill and cost me a total of $15. So I will be okay, but in spite of Express Scripts, who gave me an ETA of the 17th, more than a week after the script was ordered.


  • I am sitting here, in incredible pain from a combined sinus and ear infection, waiting for the antibiotics I need to be shipped to me in 3-5 business days because my insurance will only provide prescription coverage through Express Scripts and not a retail pharmacy.

    This same insurance company has also denied to cover a surgery they have prior auth for, denied coverage for routine lab work that is expressly covered, waited months to review disputed charges and gotten them sent to collections, and forced me into a lower tier of coverage twice due to premium increases.

    The kicker? I work in the health insurance industry. But I’m not an exec, just a support worker.

    They can try to stop the online support all they want, but they should know that the active censorship will only cause people to go elsewhere. This issue is uniting everyone who watches the evening news, and they can’t risk not covering the story because they are hoping to make an example of him.