Hiya ladies,

With my hair growing, nails manicured, and eyebrows shaped, it’s going to become harder and harder to boymode inconspicuously around family or friends (only my partner knows). On the other side of that, I’m nowhere near passing or even presenting femme in public, which makes the idea of coming out quite scary as they’re seeing masculinity when I’m declaring femininity.

Part of me wants to wait like two years and then one day suddenly appear as my new completely feminine (hopefully beautiful!) self without any warning or advance notice! So people see the best version of myself, rather than seeing the mid-transition mess I am right now (or pre-transition mess I was!). But realistically I know that’s not gonna work!

So I’d love to hear some coming out stories and when in your transition you decided it was right for you! And how those you came out to responded, if you’re comfortable sharing that!

  • Elise@beehaw.org
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    10 months ago

    I got out of the closet on vacation in a different city just to see what it would do to me. Well, it was simply impossible to get back in. I wanted to wait half a year longer but this was simply the new reality and all I could do is to try to handle it somehow.

    And as I’m sure we’ve all experienced it seems to be a bigger and more difficult process for some people than it is to even ourselves. It keeps surprising me how people react. It’s such a large range.

    For example I have a conservative religious aunt, but she seemed genuinely hyped for me and I never got a bad feeling from her. I’d like to visit her.

    Another aunt just doesn’t seem to care at all, which means she keeps deadnaming me nonstop. It’s confusing me.

    Then my mom who has professionally worked with trans people and comes across as open minded kept making the meanest comments you can imagine. I’m afraid of her now.

    So ya it’s like an amazing thing to get out of the closet, but it also means you’ll have to handle a large range of reactions. Oh and lots of questions about genitals for some reason.