Over the years, I’ve seen many folk talking about their relationship with femininity and how it relates to their transition and to their sense of identity, of who they are.

I’ve never understood it though. I don’t feel like I have a relationship with femininity, or at least, nothing beyond pragmatic necessity. It doesn’t relate to my sense of identity or who I am. In many ways, it feels like an obligation, rather than a source of empowerment or self understanding.

So, I’m curious how it works for other folk who find empowerment in it. What does it mean to you? How did it help you find yourself? How do you relate to femininity now vs earlier in your life?

Edit - To add some context. I’m 7 years transitioned, and “post transition” for want of a better term. I’m quite comfortable with my own relationship (or lack of it) with femininity. This is more an exercise in trying to understand different perspectives :)

  • good_girl
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    8 months ago

    Have you read Whipping Girl?

    Julia Serano goes over the idea and concept of femininity as it relates to ones gender identity quite a bit in the second part - “Trans women, Femininity, and feminism” starting with chapter 10.

    • AdaOPMA
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      8 months ago

      I have, but that was years ago, when I was early in my transition. I probably should give it another read

      • good_girl
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        8 months ago

        She just released a new edition this month, coincidentally.

        • AdaOPMA
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          8 months ago

          I saw that! It’s probably a good time to buy another copy to read then I guess :)