I have people follow me to my car at the grocery store when they notice I’m in a good spot (there are other, less desirable spots available, mind you). I take my sweet time loading my bags make sure nothing will tip over in transit. And during the time I’m loading, sometimes I decide I need something from the adjacent liquor store.
I’ve never understood why people sit and wait for spots when there’s spots available. Drive around. If someone is pulling out, sure, but don’t watch people load their shit up.
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Yeah, I don’t sit and block traffic because I’m too lazy to find another spot. “Do unto others,” you know? I don’t like being made to move faster because you just need this spot.
EDIT: And hold up, you’ll move your car and load it? So you will leave your groceries just in a cart, go and move your car to some further spot, and load it there? How is that at all the right thing to do? Where are you moving your car to, an empty spot? Like, one the person who’s sitting there waiting could’ve parked their car?
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Yeah, maybe I don’t understand what you mean on the second point. But aisle widths where I’m from run 20-24 feet for two-way traffic, and while, sure, you can fit three side by side, you’re getting tight, and the lot is full of folks who generally don’t understand the size of their vehicle and so you get a bottleneck. I just think waiting for a spot is rude, and you apparently feel differently, and that’s fine. If it means anything, I’m not downvoting you, I think we’re having a discussion, one that I started in particular, and I’m always down to talk about things that are ultimately pretty meaningless, because it’s much better than talking about things that matter.
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It’s rude because it blocks traffic.
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Glad to see this downvoted.
No, sorry, the dick move is sitting around blocking all traffic while you wait for someone to load their car. You don’t even know for sure they’re about to leave, they may have forgotten something and need to run back in. Or may have various other reasons that it takes a few minutes to finish and back out that you have no way of knowing.
Forcing everyone behind you to wait for you to get your desired spot is incredibly self centered and arrogant.
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Whenever someone is waiting for me to unload my groceries and move, I suddenly have the urge to check my messages and catch up on some blah blah blah. Doesn’t really matter what.
The moment the person moves on, I remember what I was doing. Doesn’t matter if they immediately do a u turn and snag it, that’s not the point.
The point is I’m petty and you can do a lap.
At the Costco by me following a person to their car is the only way to get a spot… The parking lot legitimately fills completely, unless you’re willing to park very far away where there aren’t even cart returns…
The parking lot legitimately fills completely, unless you’re willing to park very far away
So, it doesn’t fill completely…
I see the guy said Texas after so probably, but where I live you would have to park outside the anti shipping cart theft wheel lock zone.
I don’t think you get the scale of parking lots in Texas, or how far back you’d have to walk to return your cart at that point. I’m not even sure that part of the parking area isn’t technically the next restaurant’s lot instead.
All I read is that you don’t want to walk.
Okay yeah, I’m a bit more awake now. I don’t want to walk, and if you’re packing up your car, I think it’s fair for me to wait patiently for you to finish up to take your spot. You’re already clearly intending to leave, and I don’t mind if you take a minute to set up your GPS or whatever, it’s not like I’m honking at you.
Yeah, not sure why you’ve been absolutely blasted by downvoters. How is someone silently waiting for another to vacate a spot they’ve indicated they will soon be leaving some harsh, aggressive gesture? Somehow, the silent, vague “pressure” that someone is also interested in something they’ve temporarily occupied is distressing. Public bathrooms must be hell for them.
Honestly, your point is way better than mine, and even you’ve received downvotes for it. Like, bathroom lines exist. Sucks if you have shy bladder, but that doesn’t make the person behind you need to pee any less either.
Fair enough
unless you’re willing to park very far away where there aren’t even cart returns…
Gosh, you have to WALK and even RETURN YOUR CART?
Oh, the humanity!
And that’s an issue with that Costco and that sucks, I’ve certainly been to places where there’s just too much traffic that the lot cannot support it. My local grocery store just isn’t like this. If you move down the aisle you’ll find spots, just 100 feet more of a walk.
Not in California dude too many people not enough land.
I’m in Jersey, so I think I know what you mean.
Must be different in your part of California, where I’m at it isn’t an issue at all… Almost always plenty of spaces if you’re willing to walk an extra fifty feet and people will still camp for better spots in perfect weather. It’s honestly maddening.
Well, some people are lazy, but some people like me have a kid that would benefit from a closer spot.
I got two. I park where there’s three open spots together to avoid altogether even the small possibility of a door making contact with an adjacent vehicle. I feel you though, I do also like to get them off the blacktop sooner rather than later.
ya, I remembered when my kid was 1 1/2 and wanted to walk everywhere. He almost got ran over by some dipshit in a BMW. So, I always try and park closer to the building.
Yeah, parking lots are worse than roads sometimes. And kids also lack in the self preservation department sometimes too.
I think that’s a reasonable cause to call in sick
My sister and I were eating at a popular bagel place (buy at front, find your own table). Finishing up, one of us stood up to put on a jacket, woman from a table at the side immediately comes over and sits down, staking the ‘better’ table. No hello, no may I take your seat, just a Karen sit n grab.
That’s when you sit in her lap and say oh I didn’t see you, I was just chilly and put on my coat - I’ll be here for a few more hours
Ah, you’ve met my ex. She’s horrible at this, hovering or whatnot. I on the other had walk up, hey folks I’d really like to grab your seats after you’re done and just didn’t want to hover. Almost always get it.
100% would give you my seat for asking politely rather than sniping
Seems like a cultural difference. Don’t be mad at her. Be mad at something else.
Edit: lol the amount of down votes I got is cracking me up.
The fuck are you talking about? Nobody’s culture is even mentioned here. What do you propose we should be mad about that isn’t the rude person intruding on personal space without the slightest hint of a polite formality.
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Oh yeah I just re read this and it was totally stupid haha. Fuck that lady.
“I literally live here.”
“you’re in my domain”
Oh man, the comment section here is a cesspit.
I know, it’s great!
Just dip your toe first before jumping in.
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Lmfao
Perfect response, no notes
Exhibit A
Oh, you!
(to staff) I’ll tip you $100 to string that hag along, keep feeding me coffee, come and “ask” me about operations when they’re in earshot and then tell her I’m the owner and will sit where I damn well want.
If both parties are reasonable people, there’s nothing wrong with vacating your seat so someone can have it if you’re done with that seat. It depends on how she asked because you’re not entitled to kindness or generosity if you’re a bully or rude. Since he seemed to have mind it, I am guessing either she asked rudely or he perceived rudeness in her ask.
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Yeah I agree if that’s literally all she said, or I don’t know if he cut her sentence and only used the bit in his post that offended him.
I just know that sometimes if you look a certain way and dress a certain way people assume you’re rude no matter what you actually do or say. This happens a lot with young women because of sexism. Like if you’re not a soft spoken “good girl” you’re taken for a bitch.
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I don’t think there is a proper way to ask. Leave people that are eating alone so they can enjoy their meal. Even if you ask nicely, you are still putting pressure on the person eating. If you need to be seated a specific time go to a restaurant with reservations.
“excuse me, I see you’re almost done eating. Are you planning on leaving soon? No? Okay, thank you.”
It’s not about the ask, it’s about taking the “no” gracefully.
Or you could just wait for a seat to open up and take it, because if you’re “asking correctly”, in which you aren’t pressuring anyone to leave, the end result would be exactly the same.
The result of getting a table or not remains the same, but knowing whether or not to pay attention to that table leaving is different. It could mean waiting for that table or going to another area in to see if another table is leaving or open.
Yeah, I think asking creates too many opportunities for conflict, so I agree.
By that logic, you shouldn’t ask anything ever. “Opportunities for conflict”?
There is no conflict if you accept a “no.” The impotus on preventing a conflict isn’t in the ask, it’s in accepting the answer.
Just say, “Sorry, I’m working from home today.”
Leave her upset and confused.
Empathy, citizen. Empathy.
Why add to the stressful shit of the Universe. Just be kind.
precisely. there was no need for her to stress out OP by telling him he had to hurry. she could have moved the meet to a less busy restaurant, or waited for a table to open like the rest of us, or possibly even politely asked instead of dictating rudely.
there was no need for her to stress out OP by telling him he had to hurry.
Honestly I wouldn’t myself have done that to someone else, but depending on how the request was asked would depend if it was actually rude or not.
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it’s a quote so that’s probably exactly how it was asked
That’s an assumption, we don’t know that.
Usually when someone’s telling a story they want to put themselves in the best of light, especially if they are criticizing someone else in the story.
Just because it’s in quotes doesn’t mean that’s how it happened.
Here’s an example:
“it’s a quote so that’s probably exactly how bitchy she was”.
she could have moved the meet to a less busy restaurant
You really would try to do something like that with less than 15 minutes until the other persons arrival?
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Scenario 3: the person finishes up their meal quickly allowing the other person who is waiting for the table to have it.
Asking someone for a favor isn’t stressing someone. If that actually does stress them then they have worse problems than being asked to finish their meal quickly.
Be excellent with each other. The world will be a much better place if we all try to practice that.
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Let others enjoy their meal at peace. Asking someone to “hurry up” is not a favour and extremely rude.
Seating is a limited public resource shared by all. It’s really not that unreasonable if the restaurant is being slammed and there’s no tables available.
At the end of the day, if you know the restaurant is so busy and table seating is a huge problem why not get in and get out quickly, and share the resource with your fellow citizens, and make everyone’s day a little better.
There’s so much anger and hate going on right now, we really could try to be a little understanding with each other and tamping that hate down.
A restaurant is a private business and their seating is private, I don’t believe any restaurant would be happy with some random trying to hurry on their customers.
If a customer is taking excessive time it would be up to the staff to request them to move on.
Because people pay to eat their food and don’t want to get forced to move by people who think their lives are more important than others. If the meeting is so important, make a reservation.
Your failure to plan is not my problem. I don’t owe you any favors.
At the end of the day, if you know the restaurant is so busy and table seating is a huge problem…
… why not make plans with a backup restaurant in mind if you’re meeting up with friends, just in case it’s full already like it often is?
What if every other table was already occupied by people meeting friends. They’re all entitled to be there. This lady only bullied OP and told him to hurry up because he was there alone. And what you’re saying is that if you’re alone, you’re not really entitled to use shared resources beyond the absolute minimum necessary?
You’re calling for mutual understanding while supporting the position of someone who demonstrably has none as she goes around ordering people to leave public spaces becauss they think they’re more important. ‘Mutual understanding’ is revoked when it’s clear the other party only wants to abuse it.
How does this defend the person that was being rude lol
Asking for a favor is not being rude (assuming if it’s been asked nicely). Especially if you’re hogging a shared resource that’s in limited supply (seating).
assuming if it’s been asked nicely
It was not. That’s the problem, and it’s the reason for OP’s reaction.
Balderdash. Poppycock, even.
Balderdash. Poppycock, even.
If you do Humanuty right, it becomes an “Excelsior!” existence.
yes. it is not everyone else’s responsibility to reshape reality to accommodate me. if the restaurant I’m meeting a friend at is full when we both get there, and it looks like the wait will be too long for us, we go to a backup location. sometimes that happens. it’s life. at no point do we assume a position of superiority and arrogance and start accosting already-seated patrons issuing orders to vacate to make room for us. that would make me and my friends pieces of shit.
Yes? I’ve done that tons of times when I get to a restaurant and it turns out to be crowded I’ll call whoever I’m meeting and work out an alternative.
Yes? I’ve done that tons of times when I get to a restaurant and it turns out to be crowded I’ll call whoever I’m meeting and work out an alternative.
With less than 15 minutes ago, when they may already have been pulling into a parking garage?
I’m not saying it’s impossible, but I’m just speaking towards how much time was left until the appointment time, hard to handle changes on the fly with so little time left. Not impossible, but hard.
Any restaurant I’ve been to that has a parking garage also had half a dozen other place within walking distance. Changing venue isn’t really an issue unless they all are crowded in which case that’s on us for planning poorly. Even if there’s not another place within walking distance driving to another location is trivial. 15 minutes is more than enough time.
Or she could’ve learned some manners and not asked people who are eating to move
She was asking for a favor. Human beings do that sometimes. It’s a shared limited public resource.
Well then she could be a daddy’s girl who got everything she ever wanted and just doesn’t understand the concept that the world doesn’t revolve around her. Glad someone could show it to her.
Well then she could be a daddy’s girl who got everything she ever wanted and just doesn’t understand the concept that the world doesn’t revolve around her. Glad someone could show it to her.
Such a strange immature response to that comment. You know nothing about that person, you don’t know their maturity level, or what they’ve been given in life for free and what they needed to fight for.
All they did was ask if the person could finish up so that she could have the table, a shared resource that’s in limited supply that all citizens would need to use at that restaurant.
You know sometimes you really don’t have to be such hard asses to each other, truly. Even if it was a little over the top, we only have one side of what was literally said, and the tone of how it was said was not included at all.
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Has anyone ever asked you to hurry up and finish so they can have your table?
I’ve been almost done with a meal and somebody askes me if I’ll be vacating the table soon. I’ll answer them yes, especially in a crowded venue.
I would consider it rude the hog the table, especially when there are no tables available and I’m done with my meal. My ego is not that fragile that I can’t handle doing another human being a favor and getting out of there so they can have the table (as long as I’m done that is).
Its such a weird thing to argue over, and looking at the downvotes, it seems like people here on Lemmy are just really pissed off at people these days (or they are conflict bots). No good things will come from that level of anger.
I would consider it rude the hog the table
and I consider it similarly rude to just walk up and tell someone “hurry up”.
why are you acting like the person at the table now is inherently inferior to the one that wants the table? OP is “hogging” the table as much as the girl would have when she sat with her friends. less, because she’s there to meet someone socially and not just eat and leave. she’ll be “hogging the table” for a lot longer. if someone new walks in right when her friend sits down with her and says “leave, this is my table now”, you believe the correct course of action would be to immediately end the friend meetup and vacate immediately, as commanded? what if the new person is just 1 person? what if the new person represents a party of 5?
if your goal, as it seems, is to minimized use of the shared resources to maximize throughput use and thus make it available for the most people, then you would not support the idea of meeting friends at a restaurant at all.
why is the person sitting alone using the table for its intended purpose of eating a meal from the restaurant inherently inferior to a person wanting to claim a space to sit at and socialize for a while? why are the latter so superior that it justifies such rude behavior towards the prior?
Its such a weird thing to argue over, and looking at the downvotes, it seems like people here on Lemmy are just really pissed off at people these days (or they are conflict bots). No good things will come from that level of anger.
You’ve been arguing so much in the comments that you’ve forgotten OP’s stated story and adopted your own fiction to defend. Like you said, it’s a weird thing to argue over, because what you’re talking about is not what anybody else is talking about. That’s why you’re getting down voted. But sure, convince yourself it’s pissed off people or “conflict bots,” whatever the hell that is. More fiction for your la-di-da world.
Where I come from if someone gracefully asked if I’d be leaving soon I’d have no problem accommodating them if it suited me fine. The operative word is suited, because I don’t owe strangers anything. I can choose to be generous, or be in my right to reserve my generosity for someone who is more deserving. Doing so doesn’t make me a bad person.
However, this is not what happened according to OP. The person suggested they hurry because they needed their table. That’s so rude I’m completely blown away at your effort here in the comments to white wash it and scold others for not being doormats like you want to be. Have fun with that.
Idc
Idc
I guess that’s what it really just comes down to, if you care for others, or think only for yourself.
why would you care for people who exploit the baseline care given from others but themselves do not care for others? you’re enabling and encouraging this breakdown of societal care by accommodating the loud-mouth arrogant bullies like the “hurry up” woman to the degree that you seemingly elevate them above the average person.
“being kind” does not mean “being a doormat”, you seem to have conflated those things.
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Dude I bet people walk all over you
Quite the opposite actually.
It’s okay to be nice to other people, truly. It makes the World a better place.
It’s not shared. It’s his until he’s finished with his meal a meal he paid for and is at liberty to consume at whatever pace is most enjoyable to him.
It’s shared. He doesn’t bring his own table and chairs with him.
You don’t bring your own seat on an airplane either. It comes with you purchasing a flight to a destination. Those certainly aren’t shared.
You don’t bring your own seat on an airplane either. It comes with you purchasing a flight to a destination. Those certainly aren’t shared.
Those seats are assigned to you, not one that you obtain yourself.
I mentioned in another comment about how different restaurant venues have it where sometimes you have to get your own seating, and other times the restaurant gets the seating for you. The airline would be the same thing as the restaurant getting the seating for you.
I’m talking about you having to get your seat yourself, not assigned by the restaurant.
The seats are still owned by the restaurant and designated for people who have paid for meals. They don’t typically welcome people who are not buying to come sit down. So it’s not a “shared resource”. You pay for a meal, you get a table until you’re finished. If you want to share that table or not is up to you or the rules of the restaurant.
She was asking for a favor.
She was not. She was ordering OP to finish and leave, because she viewed herself as more valuable and more entitled to the shared resource than OP is, and therefore expected them to comply.
If she had merely asked for a favor instead of issuing an order, it could have been different.
People be like “we don’t know if that exact quote is how it happened”. Duh! We don’t know if anything of that story even happened we don’t even know if the tweeter is a human or a cat.
However it makes no sense to assume part of the story to be true and a different part not. You either for a discussion assume it to be true or not.
For other discussion not about the situation it may make sense to only assume part of the story. But this is rarely the case.
You had me in the first paragraph but I call bullshit on the second. However you won me back with the third.
Yeah it feels like something from Seinfeld. Many things on TV are fiction but it doesn’t mean it’s not funny. Or isn’t analogous to real life scenarios that we can talk about now.
Whether or not anything described actually happened is irrelevant.
If someone honked at my grandpa to hurry up, he’d put the car in park and smoke a cigar.
Having an entire day to dedicate to snark sounds nice
Could be fake but I won’t be surprised if it isn’t.
Honestly who cares? You don’t gain any power by assuming any story on the internet which affects no one is fake. This whole “fake and gay” culture from Reddit should stop.
I’m guessing you’re still a child.
What does that response even mean.
i dont get why people are so against her, i totally see where shes coming from and you could prob finish your breakfast in 15 mins, its not like she did anything she just told him her situation.
Would have been totally fine if she said “hey I have a friend coming in 15, do you think I could have your table then?”, but she didn’t. She decided to be arrogant about it so fuck her ¯\(°_°)/¯
We really don’t know what she said because we’re relying on only one POV
She explicitly told him to “hurry up and finish so we can take your place” which is a ludicrous demand to a stranger.
You can ask politely if the stranger will be leaving soon, or even offer to pay for their meal with the condition that they leave, but making a demand of a stranger that has an exactly equal right to something that you want is very rude, no matter what appeal to emotion you couple it with.
I do think it’s pretty rude but we don’t actually know that’s a direct quote, it might just be how the tweeter interpreted what they asked. If those actually are the words she used, then yes that’s inexcusable, but given twitter, I think that’s unlikely.
Knowing people, the above is easily a completely verboten quote.
verbatim
verboten
𝕯𝖎𝖊𝖘𝖊 𝕶𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖘𝖊𝖐𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖎𝖘𝖙 𝖓𝖚𝖓 𝕰𝖎𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖚𝖒 𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝕭𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖗𝖊𝖕𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖎𝖐 𝕯𝖊𝖚𝖙𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖉
Found the narcissist!
There’s being nice, and then there’s being a pushover. Don’t be a pushover. This lady had zero manners or consideration of that person. 100% selfish. I see absolutely no reason to be accommodating to that.
i see no problem in people seeing my as a pussy, something like eating faster takes so little effort and shes not taking anything from me. its not like im trying to assert my dominance as someone big that wont be bossed around. i am happy as the way i am and something so small wont come close to touching my ego.
i know i might be part of the problem encouraging this behaviour but i aint got time for that. hanlon’s razor: never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity
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Low effort
Everyone who is #ProudlyAsshole keeps ignoring and/or skipping over the fact that in these scenarios that are being discussed that we’re talking about publically shared resources that are in short supply, be it a table in a crowded restaurant, or a parking space at a huge complex.
It really is rude to hog a shared resource. Use it, then move on. Quickly.
A restaurant isn’t a public space. It’s privately owned and you are paying to be there.
A restaurant isn’t a public space. It’s privately owned and you are paying to be there.
I’m talking about what is used by all of the public, not what is owned by all the public.
It’s disingenuous for you to suggest otherwise.
Yeah, sure, but you’re potentially messing with the business’s customers. That’s not cool. Just stay the appropriate time to enjoy your meal and make room for others to enjoy it as well.
Yeah, sure, but you’re potentially messing with the business’s customers.
No not really, because if you’re eating at the type of venue where the customers arrange for their own seating, it’s a valid ask, and the owners of the restaurant don’t monitor that and wouldn’t consider that interference.
If you’re eating at a venue where the restaurant staff seats you, then you wouldn’t really be asking someone how long they’re going to be at a table, and therefore not interfering.
Just stay the appropriate time to enjoy your meal and make room for others to enjoy it as well.
That’s all I’m advocating, plus don’t get angry/upset if someone asks you how much longer you’re going to be, especially when resources are scarce.
Don’t be an asshole, we have enough of that shit going around these days.
Fair points. There isn’t enough context to know what is appropriate. But, I try to live by a “Don’t be an asshole” philosophy.
Possibly, but in other social contexts (aka a cafe in Europe or elsewhere) time pressure might not be a priority. Having a single seating for the entire morning may not seem viable, but can be in some places.
Possibly, but in other social contexts (aka a cafe in Europe or elsewhere) time pressure might not be a priority. Having a single seating for the entire morning may not seem viable, but can be in some places.
Well if seating capacity is not a problem, then there is no issue. I’m speaking towards when resources are rare and shared.
Quick note: stay the fuck out of France, most of Europe in fact. lmfao
