• Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca
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    9 个月前

    I (cis male) used to have tea parties with my dog all the time. Had a little set specifically for it. Stop forcing fun childhood activities into rigid gender groups.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    9 个月前

    My daughter has a room decked out in pink, loves Hello Kitty and collects Raggedy Ann dolls. She also loves The Ramones and The Dead Kennedys and wears a leather biker jacket and spiked collars. And I love it all.

    Fuck societal norms. Being who you are and doing what you want because you enjoy it is awesome.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    9 个月前

    Ok, my youngest identifies as a trans boy and honestly I was so very surprised when he told me, because my concept of womanhood is so broad that it didn’t cross my mind that anything they were doing was boyish. I just thought he identified as a 40 year old lesbian with dumpy style. I still can’t quite see it, just a beautiful androgynous person with bad taste in clothing, and reasonably good taste in girlfriends.

  • Kerb@discuss.tchncs.de
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    9 个月前

    maybe they just where tired of being taxed by the british without any representation in the british parliament?

  • Ephera@lemmy.ml
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    9 个月前

    Yeah, I always found it interesting that society is in general headed for sex-(and IMHO also gender-)correlated roles ceasing to exist, and trans folks absolutely push that forward by unearthing the idea that gender or identity should have anything to do with what’s in your pants, yet they also are often some of the biggest perpetrators of gendered identities.
    Like, when a trans lady finds her identity and has come out, they often really enjoy the lady identity, so it’ll be skirts and pink and all that jazz.

    I guess, maybe it shouldn’t matter. Maybe those aren’t necessarily gendered identities, but at some point just an identity, which you can find neat. Like, we’re giving up the male vs. female categories, but more in the sense that we’re opening up the whole rainbow, and if your identity is hot pink, that might look like the traditionally female identity, but this time around, it rather just happens to be your identity.

    Will still be interesting to see, if maybe some hot pink trans ladies will one day decide that actually this new purplish-green identity is my jam, whenever we work out what that looks like.

    • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
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      9 个月前

      Did you know that a lot of ex-jahovas witnesses will go over the top to celebrate holidays? Most of them will even have one holiday they will pick as a favorite, and just go ALL OUT on that holiday. Holidays are considered a sin in JW society, and celebrating one is a good way to get shunned.

      The same applies to trans people. If you’ve spent your whole life identifying with a certain thing, but been denied that thing because of some arbitrary reason, you’ll almost reflexively ‘overindulge’ when you’re able to finally just enjoy what you like.

      It’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation. If society just never cared, and let boys enjoy ‘girly’ things and vice versa, the situation would almost certainly be completely different. For one, they may never develop any kind of dysmorphia to begin with, but even if they do, they haven’t been denied the things they want, so there’s not the overcorrecting we sometimes see now.

      • papertowels@lemmy.one
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        9 个月前

        A met someone the other day who’s son was rocking some pink sparkly light up shoes. Let’s go!!

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      9 个月前

      I love that gendered toy sections in stores are totally gone. There are just categories now. There’s still usually a Barbie aisle because there’s a million barbies and an action figure aisle because there’s ten times as many action figures, but they’re not separated into girl’s toys and boy’s toys like they were when I was a kid in the 80s. There was a boy in my elementary school who had a Cabbage Patch Kid and got made fun of for playing with a girls’ toy. I hope getting rid of those barriers in stores has helped that sort of thing. My daughter didn’t really seem to get the concept of ‘this was a toy boys played with’ and ‘this was a toy girls played with’ until she started enjoying going to antique malls.

    • Fal@yiffit.net
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      9 个月前

      yet they also are often some of the biggest perpetrators of gendered identities.

      You’re reading too much into it. Society says that tea parties are feminine. Whether that’s inherent to gender, or entirely a social imposition doesn’t really matter. Trans people are NOT saying that if you like tea parties then you’re a girl. But if you like tea parties, wished you could wear dresses, wanted sleepovers with the other girls instead of the boys, then that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re trans, but it might be something to consider.

      Think about it this way. Trans people were denied the opportunity to participate in these stereotypically feminine things without feeling weird. And I don’t mean weird because people tell you it’s wrong to like that stuff. That’s definitely part of it. But it also just feels like you’re an alien. You may be participating in tea parties, and wearing dresses, etc. But even if that was totally normal, it would still feel wrong to be doing that as a boy.

      I don’t know if any of that made sense. But I think you see trans people wanting to be able to experience stereotypical femininity and misinterpret that as a desire to impose those stereotypes on others

      • uis@lemm.ee
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        9 个月前

        Society says that tea parties are feminine.

        I’m trying to imagine how society would say to Discord the Spirit of Chaos that his tea parties with Fluttetshy are girly. And what he will do to such society

        • Fal@yiffit.net
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          9 个月前

          Discord the Spirit of Chaos … fluttershy

          Hey now you’re speaking my language.

          But, I mean, it’s not untrue, right? Whether it’s right, or inherent, or what, tea parties are girly. That doesn’t mean that men can’t participate at all, or that if they do it means they’re girls.

          I would also argue that discord is more interested in spending time with fluttershy rather than the tea party itself. So I’m not sure how much we should take about gender roles from that.

          • uis@lemm.ee
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            9 个月前

            I would also argue that Discord is more interested in spending time with Fluttershy rather than the tea party itself.

            It’s glaringly obvious he is into Fluttershy, there is nothing to argue about.

            Whether it’s right, or inherent, or what, tea parties are girly.

            I don’t think so. I remember in kindergarden playing pretending tea party few times.

            And where I live 40 years ago(based on what older generation says) all politics was discussed on kitchens, so invite into tea party could also be invite to chat about politics.

            • Fal@yiffit.net
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              9 个月前

              I don’t think so. I remember in kindergarden playing pretending tea party few times.

              Not sure how this is an argument for whether tea parties are girly or not. I never said only girls do it. But in general tea parties are a girly thing. And like I posted in another comment, whether that’s 100% because of societal imposed gender norms doesn’t really matter that much since we live in that society

    • nifty@lemmy.worldOP
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      9 个月前

      I think if someone defines certain items or activities as celebrating their gender, whatever those items or activities are, I think it’s fine! I don’t think Trans folk are doing any harm by gendering things, it’s an expression of them and their gender identity.

      We don’t need to tells boys not to have tea parties because it’s girly, but if a boy or girl decides that their tea party is boyish or girly, then good for them.

    • uis@lemm.ee
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      9 个月前

      I always found it interesting that society is in general headed for sex-(and IMHO also gender-)correlated roles ceasing to exist,

      In certain society most sex-correlated roles were sent to GULAG

  • Funkmaster-Hex@kbin.social
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    9 个月前

    Straight cis dude here. Nana brought out the special cookies and some bitchin dress up clothes (including a top hat). Tea parties rock no matter what your orientation.

    • webadict@lemmy.world
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      9 个月前

      No there isn’t. Anybody that young receiving hormonal treatments are recieving purbety blockers, which is a very legitimate medical use (for both cis and trans children) as early onset of puberty can have detrimental health effects. You would not receive hormones until you are mid-to-late teens, and have been undergoing other gender-confirming care up to that point. It takes a long time to get hormones.

      If this was an American doctor, and you would like to make an accusation about a doctor that definitely didn’t happen, you can absolutely report them to their state’s medical board, but making fake accusations will get you sued, so have fun.

        • barsoap@lemm.ee
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          9 个月前

          , yet we are allowing them (with parental consent) to make chemical changes to their bodies that can have permanent side effects?

          It’s about avoiding permanent changes, that change being puberty. The blockers are precisely to buy them time until they’re old enough to go all the way.

          Puberty occurs naturally at staggeringly varying ages, is influenced by a gazillion of environmental factors, the body can deal with it happening earlier or later perfectly fine.

          Though it has to be said that there’s some side effects not to blockers as such but late vs. early puberty, if you’re on blockers until 16 and then go off you might end up being a bit shorter than you’d otherwise turned out. Which is why, like always in medicine, intervention has to be balanced with doing nothing regarding risks vs. risks, and in the case of kids presenting trans that’s always on the side of yes they get blockers because stuff like being shorter is benign, while the increased dysphoria and everything that comes along with undergoing the wrong puberty is an absolute mind-wrecker. Suicide is a worse health outcome, you see.

        • papertowels@lemmy.one
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          9 个月前

          IIRC the only issues with puberty blockers is bone density might be a little lower - otherwise puberty has been found to just resume as normal when you’re off.

        • Xtallll
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          9 个月前

          Sounds like you don’t know much about the situation, so shut the fuck up and let the medical professionals work with patients and their families to make the decisions. It doesn’t affect you so take your opinion and shove it up your ass so it will be in good company.

          • papertowels@lemmy.one
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            9 个月前

            That’s unnecessarily hostile. Are they preventing medical professionals from working with their patients with this question?

            They even apologized for being wrong and fact checked themselves. That to me shows someone who’s talking about things in good faith.

            As someone who also would like to learn how to advise a potential kid in the future, I’d hope I can ask questions in good faith without getting chewed out.

            • Xtallll
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              9 个月前

              The top level comment burned all of the good faith I’m willing to extend that user. I’m done dealing with people who are “just asking questions”, or “have weird feelings” while half the states in my country are trying to outlaw my existence.

              • papertowels@lemmy.one
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                9 个月前

                You do you in terms of how much patience you’re willing to lend folks. You’re under no obligation to explain things for the umpteenth time, feeling the need to justify your life. It sucks.

                However I will point out that the person willing to fact check themselves for misunderstanding hormone therapy is (probably) not the person who’s trying to outlaw your existence.

                • Xtallll
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                  9 个月前

                  Quick dig through their comments they are also pushing border conspiracies, so they probably are that kind of person.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      9 个月前

      I have yet to meet a trans person who didn’t realize something was wrong when it came to being treated like their biological gender starting when they were very young. It goes way beyond ‘you’re a boy who likes pretty dolls.’ It’s more along the lines of insisting to your parents that you’re a girl until they browbeat (or just beat) you into no longer making that insistence. Thankfully, that is happening far less often now.

      • Microw@lemm.ee
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        9 个月前

        The Problem is that some of them, like the OP in the screenshotted post, are pretty bad at communicating stuff like this. No, wanting to have tea parties is not a sign of being trans.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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          9 个月前

          Wasn’t that the point of the post? That it wasn’t why they decided their assigned gender was incorrect, it was just a fun thing to do?

  • Lath@kbin.social
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    9 个月前

    Tea parties are awesome.
    I remember one time, there were these sweet cookies made out of fat and flour and I ate a lot of them. Two hours later I vomited like crazy because of the fat.
    Another time, instead of tea and those cookies, it was milk and jam. Same thing really, different flavours. Also the vomit was more pleasant to look at.
    There wasn’t an another time after that. I still wonder why sometimes…

  • GroundedGator@lemmy.world
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    9 个月前

    Why can’t a straight cis male wear a breezy skirt? Why can’t a cis female wear cargo shorts and have hairy legs?

    It’s not just gender roles, we have boxes to put people in for every way they might choose to identify. It’s getting time to break away from all of that.

    People need to stop worrying about what others do with their genitals or even what those genitals are. Doesn’t matter for anything until you want to get into a relationship.

    • fsxylo@sh.itjust.works
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      9 个月前

      The dichotomy of cultural gender roles vs biological identity is one of the reasons that this shit is so complicated that we shouldn’t even try to regulate it unless clear harm is being done to people.

      Tldr: shut up and legalize it, ya vulture suit asses.

    • uis@lemm.ee
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      9 个月前

      Why can’t a cis female wear cargo shorts

      I personally know one who does

    • Ilflish@lemm.ee
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      9 个月前

      The tweets give off the same energy as people who do something mundane like drink a coffee and by not getting a flamboyant one question their sexuality. But that one is always played off as a joke.

      We can’t look for signs or we will start applying them to people. If my son enjoys female-associated hobbies, that shouldn’t be an indicator of a anything other than I should nurture it.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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    9 个月前

    I totally get that. My childhood sign was thinking that my genitals were definitely of the wrong sort and there’s no cisgender explanation for that

    In retrospect I generally see my childhood experience as far more similar to that of a tomboy. My problem was my body, not gender stereotypes