• Drusas@kbin.social
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    9 months ago

    Jesus Christ, this. And the men rarely even realize/acknowledge how predatory they’re being.

    • phx@lemmy.ca
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      9 months ago

      I’d be flattered if an 18yo girl found me attractive, but holy hell I wouldn’t have wanted to date somebody with the social-intellectual maturity of most 18 yo’s even when I was a lot closer to that age myself.

      The ones that do want that, I’d say they’re either stuck in the mentality of that age being their own glory-days or wanting somebody they can easily dominate/control, quite likely both.

      • dragonflyteaparty@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        One has nothing to do with the other. There’s nothing wrong with those of similar age being in a relationship. Romeo and Juliet laws require the couple to be within three years of each other. That has nothing to do with 40 year old men creeping on teenage girls. This thread is insane and really shows the demographics of Lemmy.

        1/3 women are sexually harassed in their lifetime. Women have posted their stories about being sexually harassed more frequently as a young teenager than an adult. I personally have been groped and propositioned for prostitution while I was walking down the street in broad daylight. Not to mention the numerous cat calls. Everything stopped the moment I no longer looked like a child. This is what the post is about. Not consensual relationships.

        • AsheHole@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          The first time I realized I was being leered at was a man probably in his 40s while at the airport going on vacation with my family. I was 10 or 11 at the time.

          I remember getting in trouble for leaning on a store counter a couple times, my mom eventually explained it was because the salesmen were looking down my shirt. I was in middle school.

          Memories of us getting cat called walking to and from school with my friends are strongest when we were all around 14. I remember being groped by a 20something year old while giving them a forced hug as they cornered me at a party around 15 before ducking and running away to the crowd.

          I had my first sexual assault at 18.

          Now on the other side… I had a stalker at 23, was likely roofied a few years ago at 28, and one of my friends in her 40s was recently cornered in her hotel room by a friend assuming favors. Which we then found out was a well known habit of his.

          Not to say any of this to argue your point, young girls are absolutely going to be cat called or given unwanted attention more than a adult or middle aged+ woman. More so just when I started listing a few I realized that unfortunately, we will always have to have our guard up. I’m in my early 30s now and get leered at/inappropriate comments from the 50-60 year old men in my industry. It is never not uncomfortable when you’re looked at like a piece of meat.

          • Drusas@kbin.social
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            9 months ago

            I got catcalled regularly from the ages of about 12 to 19, most frequently around the ages of 14 to 16. Then it basically stopped entirely.

            • AsheHole@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              I live in a bigger city with some heavy foot traffic areas. Those are normally where I get comments still. I feel part of it has to do with the fact that some of them actually think they aren’t creepy, and others know you won’t fight back on it and enjoy your discomfort.

            • RBWells@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              Oh my God, I still get this at mid 50s and don’t think I even fit the stereotype of hot older lady - I thought it never ended. Fully expect to be 90 and have someone yell “lookin’ spry, Grandma!” as they drive by. It’s ridiculous and I don’t think it’s serious just thoughtless nonsense.

        • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          That has nothing to do with 40 year old men creeping on teenage girls.

          It’s almost like there’s a false equivalence for the women in the meme being upset that men think young women are attractive versus them being creeped on by creepers while pretending like women don’t do the same damn thing lol.

          Unwanted advances is something completely different than “guys talking about how 35 year old women are upset that men their age want 18 year olds”. While ALSO falsely attributing it to jealousy.

          The women are pretending like 18 year olds aren’t attractive. They are, scientifically, and culturally. You can be old and appreciate pretty people. Vilifying that is getting into fucked up Roman Catholic levels of guilt & self-hate lol.