Hiya ladies,

Today I’m trying to understand how to let go of the mean, unhappy boy I never wanted to be, and embrace the passionate, loving girlie I dream of becoming.

Before I was brave enough to accept myself I was self-isolating, over eating, and indulging in various other coping mechanisms for short term, unsustainable dopamine hits. I was also mean, anti-social, and very standoffish because I thought that’s who people expected me to be.

Now I want to be, need to be, someone completely different, letting out the parts of myself that I suppressed for so long I forgot they were even there. How did you do it? How did you unlearn those almost instinctive behaviours and defence mechanisms that keep people away and keep your real self buried and suffocating?

Thank you in advance <3

  • pearable@lemmy.ml
    15·
    11 months ago

    Hi! I’m not trans but my girlfriend is a cult survivor. Her experience has some similarities to yours.

    Growing up she was taught a lot of purity culture BS that caused her to isolate, suppress her feelings, and generally become a machine in order to protect herself. The journey to becoming a person again, involves identifying negative habits, accepting that you are not broken or immoral for developing them in order to survive, and redirecting yourself to better narratives and habits. A therapist, if you can access one, can help with this process.