Ripping off a post I just saw in the Isaac Arthur subreddit. Imagining we work out the technical ability. Examples they suggested were:
- No periods
- No balding
- No nausea
- No body odor
- Resistance to obesity and muscle wasting
Redesign the spine for vertical use. Don’t put the eating and breathing tubes on either side of the same flap.
Yes, food hole and air hole should be separate
Ability to regrow lost teeth
*if teeth are in a regular position.
Just as long as I don’t grow my wisdom teeth back. I don’t want to have to have those removed again.
How about repeated full replacement every 5-10 years?
I love the idea of adults with loose teeth as their tenth set of teeth comes in.
Sorry my performance has been below average lately, boss, I’m just getting my 8th set of teeth.
“Hey, go easy on Jim, he’s teething this week.”
Door-string sale in aisle 8. Shoppers, stock up!
I don’t know. That could become tiresome.
Had one lower molar pulled recently 🥹
Body hair is now opt-in
Yes! With the ability change your mind please!
Ability to go to sleep when sleep should be gone to.
Or the ability to forgo sleep indefinitely. I’ve got too much shit I want to do and too little time.
Let’s apply RPG sleep rules.
You can go for weeks without sleep, but when you do sleep, you awaken fully healed.
Got a feeling this would lead to 16 hour work days. And fuuuuuuuck that.
Nothing beats the feeling of waking up after a good sleep.
How about, you only need naps and you always wake up feeling refreshed.
AND ONLY DREAM ABOUT PUPPIES AND SUNSHINE!
RFC, pull request to add git.
Reasoning: Having a built-in versioning system would allow humans to
rollbackroll back undesirable changes and advancements could be made more easilyplease comment or downvote if this is a bad idea
Bug ticket: you wanted ‘roll back’, there, two words.
much appreciated +1,
fixed the PR
Let’s put a cap on how much excess energy the body can store as fat. Sure, some amount is fine and has a number of uses, but just let me poop some excess calories out. I’d only need more if I were to hibernate.
Thinking on it, I want to hibernate too, please.
While we’re at it from animals, how about upping some of our regeneration? Teeth don’t regrow? Naw, constant regen please. I get too big of a cut and I get a scar? Let’s let everything regrow from being lost if you can survive without it. Also why doesn’t the brain heal? Most important part of the body and each crack’s there for life. Let me get my serotonin back already, slacker.
Also what’s with this getting assigned a gender thing? You don’t even get to know what it means before you have one! And then we build society as if this coin flip was the seed to the tree of life. Let people choose and switch naturally, please and thank you.
Just one universal blood type please
Hair and nails not constantly growing
Your body not over reacting to things (allergies and auto immune)
Right? Im very cool with rhe whole balding thing but for fuck sake can I not be Chewbacca walking carpet from the neck down?
So you want hair and nails to grow consciously?
Like if I want to grow my hair out, I need to actively concentrate on it for a year? Or can I grunt out a moustache like a cartoon? Both are problematic.
You consciously initiate the process and then it grows on its own, with the option to manually stop.
Ooh can I be Rapunzel/Wolverine? Both at the same time, that is. Oh and I’ll take Dumbledore’s beard.
I would like the ability to change the speed of growth. Like, when you overeat, I’d love to just crank up hair and nail growth to burn away the excess
No more biting down on my tongue or cheeks when eating. Most annoying glitch ever.
Omg yes this absolutely. I eat to nourish myself and survive and am punished randomly by self-inflicted mouth wound that lasts for days/weeks => evolutionary failure at its finest.
Insult to injury when the food is actually something healthy like a salad instead of fries.
- Separate holes for eating and breathing
- Separate sewage system from entertainment complex
- Remove mental health disorders
- Improved empathy
Good day, are you talking about urine sewage system and/or anal intercourse?
How about a system which fully harvests nutrients, then compresses waste into smooth, solid, compact, sterile pellets which leave no residue and don’t smell bad?
Monkey’s Paw: they push out from under your eyelids
i think that’s the core issue. Whatever kind of sewage system you have is going to be a source of entertainment for some people
Well, one can hardly argue with that, kind sir.
I disagree - one hole for everything. Just imagine how many less medical clinics you need to go to.
Yes, I’m American.
The spine
FIX THE SPINE
Just out of sheer curiosity, are there diagrams of what a redesigned spine might look like?
Yeah, upgrade the spinal column with a duranium/cordonite alloy, similar to data.
This should be #1
Being able to shoot lasers from my tits would be cool.
as if women didnt have enough of a problem with people grabbing them and going pew pew, pewpewpew before!
Like, Cyclops lasers or cat toy lasers?
The cyclops kind.
What would you do with your laser-tit-shooting ability though?
Play with cats of course!
Self-defense and cutting paper smoothly.
Cutting food would be so much better too.
You can already shoot FOOD from them! That’s pretty damn impressive.
But yeah, lasers would be cool.
is this only for boobhavers, or anyone with nipples?
The breathing hole and the eating hole are separated
More holes, you say?
Everyone gets really thick necks.
Very short mating season. The amount of people is too god damned high.
Or just have a built in birth control switch that has zero side effects. Of course, it would have to be entirely controlled by the individual so as not to turn into some dystopian population control mechanism.
Pon farr!
OK, but only if it’s like May or June. No one needs that shit in February.
Add more holes to the body.
What, do pores not count?
no holes for you
For what?
I’m not that picky about their primary function.
Goddamn ear fuckers.
eargasm
Tow mounting hooks
