• FoundTheVegan@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      never felt like I needed to post my life for the whole world to see

      As he posts a story from his life 🙄

      Dude is so oblivious and arrogant. He barely knows her and is already judging, thankfully smart girl saw the signs and dodged a bullet. It’s rare for greentext to have a happy ending.

      • InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        damn bro, no need to get up in arms about it. Everybody judges everybody all the time, just a reality of life. She’s judging him, he’s judging her, I’m judging you right now, you’re going to be judging me when you read this, and on it goes.

    • ToxicWaste@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Friend of mine bought her first smart phone about a year ago. She just didn’t need any of the functions on a smartphone and was happier with her flip phone: pretty much infinite battery, near indestructible, does communicate just ok.

      Only reason she bought a smart phone is to download some group chat clients. Since she broke up with her BF, we additionally had to write her on SMS. So she made it a bit easier for us.

        • Rosco@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          No, they use them because the battery lasts for ages and they’re very reliable. They still have modern smartphones for personal use. And nothing wrong with that, the main use for a phone should be communicating with others, if Anon can get away with only SMS and regular calls, good for him.

    • doctorcrimson@lemmy.today
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      1 year ago

      Or maybe just broke, but then it’s a little odd to by pursuing more than a 2 year degree without a stable living situation.

    • Asafum@feddit.nl
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      1 year ago

      I only bought a smartphone because I was getting into the HVAC field and I wanted to have access to the Internet to help with diagnostics, if it wasn’t for that job I might still just have an old flip phone lol

    • lunarul@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You don’t need to also fake post what others post. Just have an account, you don’t need to ever post on it and if you do post you can keep it visible to friends only. I haven’t posted anything on Facebook for years, but that account is the only way some friends and relatives can reach me (I moved abroad, so phone is not an option).

    • nycki@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      This, for real. I’m autistic but I’ve learned to mask it by showing normies what they expect to see and it makes things so much easier. Remember, reception matters more than intention.

  • Letstakealook@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I know this is likely fake, but I have gotten that reaction from people. Folks really find it strange when you don’t have social media. The times it really sucks is when they think you’re lying and just don’t want to add them.

    • ChexMax@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      It’s about safety for me. Going on a date with someone is such a gamble. If they have zero social media presence, that’s outside of what’s normal. Anything outside of normal social expectations is a safety red flag to me, because you immediately become less predictable to me. I don’t want to be alone with someone I don’t really know who is unpredictable. I’m just trying not to get murdered.

        • Facebones@reddthat.com
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          1 year ago

          I actually don’t mind being a weirdo who doesn’t get dates, but I don’t understand why people keep falling for this hyper specific personality archetype that’s got making girls swoon over them down to a science.

          100% I have interests that probably don’t align with yours, but at least I’m not lying to you until you’re on the hook then calling you a bitch about it 🤷

          • ChexMax@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            No one has ever lied to me to get me on the hook and then called me anything about it. I don’t know who the people are who fall for this, but it’s not an issue in my circles.

            Most of my exes have been weirdos, and I am a bit of a weirdo. It’s still a red flag to have absolutely no social media presence, and it means I can’t send links to your pages with screen shots of you to my sister before our date in case I get murdered.

      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        As someone whose only “social media” is Lemmy, I’d be 100% fine meeting in public places or with people you trust. But I’m not going to sell my personal information for a date.

      • Letstakealook@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        I suppose. Handing over your entire life and information to a corporation and making most of it available to the world should be the larger red flag.

    • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      I only know two women who use non-standard social apps, and both of them work in NGOs with good reason to not trust corps/government.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.net
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    1 year ago

    I am terminally online and even I don’t want to engage with someone I know IRL through social media. We don’t need to be on discord or Instagram or Reddit to talk 1 on 1. We can just fucking text. Like on the phone. No, I don’t want to download Kik or whatsapp or any other random, sketchy app. We can text through the phone.

    • Firipu@startrek.website
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      1 year ago

      Fuck texting like a Neanderthal. Use a modern, and secure app to communicate. WhatsApp as a bottom of the barrel thing (99% of society outside of the US is on it, so it’s the de facto standard) , signal or better if you can.

      • Pohl@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Nothing makes me smirk like the rest of the world bragging to Americans that they use Facebook to text. Yeah guys, you nailed it. Big win. We’re over here using standard protocols like rubes. I’m sure you get all kinds of security from that free app from Mr Zuckerberg. lol

        • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
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          1 year ago

          I’m all for discrediting Facebook services for better alternatives, but Whatsapp employs End to End encryption by default, while SMS is readable from your ISP and anyone intercepting your conversation.

              • MeaanBeaan@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                “Facebook Messenger offers end-to-end encryption, meaning chats between two users will be visible only on users’ phones and aren’t readable by Facebook or any government entity that makes a legal request to the company. But the option is available only to people using the Messenger app on mobile devices, and messages are encrypted only after users select the option to mark chats as “secret.””

                From their linked article.

                It’s insane to only have E2EE as an opt in feature.

                • smeg@feddit.uk
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                  1 year ago

                  I guess it’s because they added it later so they can claim to have it while still being able to datamine the average user. Not that insane given that it’s Facebook. I’d say what’s insane is that’s the same as what Telegram does and some people think that’s secure!

                • smeg@feddit.uk
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                  1 year ago

                  The comment I replied to wasn’t

                  Fbook Messenger, which is also supposed to be E2EE

            • Firipu@startrek.website
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              1 year ago

              When you send sms, you might as well be sending smoke signals. Not as if sms is secure in any modern sense of the word…

            • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
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              1 year ago

              The object is not Facebook Messenger, which only uses E2EE with a specific hidden feature and is disabled by default.

          • Pohl@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Facebook makes money selling data for advertising. They don’t host and maintain what’s app for the good of mankind. every single thing you send on the app is being harvested for data and you know it. It is decrypted at each end and hovered up for sale to the highest bidder.

            • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
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              1 year ago

              Facebook makes money mainly from advertising, yes, which can be done also on Whatsapp and will be in the future.

              While they can still harvest some data from Whatsapp even if conversations are encrypted, my point was that they have no way to read the content of messages you send.

              • Pohl@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                Think about what end to end encryption does. The client at one end encrypts the data for transmission after it has been typed. The client at the other end decrypts it for the other user to read. While the message cannot be viewed by anyone in between, it’s plain old data at both ends. If you can read the data, the software you are reading it on can also read the data.

                Fb harvests all that data because they can. If you think E2EE is keeping their eyes off the data, you are mistaken. It keeps MY eyes of your data. It (in theory) keeps the government’s eyes off your data. For 100% privacy, you have to control the client software. You do not control the client software.

            • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
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              11 months ago

              I don’t use Facebook and neither should you. Whatsapp is their only decent product, probably because it was bought when it was already decent.

        • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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          1 year ago

          You guys use iMessage, a proprietary app from an other big tech company and use it to dismiss the other half of the population.

          You guys aren’t much better.

      • shastaxc@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        I really don’t care about security of a conversation that goes like:

        “hey wanna hang out on Sunday?”

        “Sure, sounds fun, let’s meet at xxx at yyy pm.”

        • tab@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          I’d guess the point is rather that women tend to research their potential assailants/murderers/lovers before dates, which is easier to do for people that share their shit on social media.

          • Havald@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Right, because murderers share their kills on social media? You can sort out some creeps but those can’t hide it if you text with them for a few days either. I don’t think you’d spot most murderers or rapists by looking through their social media.

            • WldFyre@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              Well her vibe check was right about this guy, he uses 4chan, one of the worst possibly social medias lol

              • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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                Yeah, but id bet money that the dude is an untreated/undiagnosed autist, and they can be really fucken creepy. I know cause I was diagnosed with aspergers at fucking 2, when you have to mask constantly and look for social cues you start to notice the undiagnosed ones.

                If youre curious how I noticed its cause they usually have stronger fixations and are usually a bit off with their body language.

                • areyouevenreal@lemm.ee
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                  11 months ago

                  If youre curious how I noticed its cause they usually have stronger fixations and are usually a bit off with their body language.

                  You mean they actually live their life without pretending to be something they are not? Not everyone who doesn’t mask is undiagnosed, the opposite in fact. People get diagnosed, learn masking is bad, and stop doing it gradually.

                  I can’t believe we have people on lemmy trying to encourage masking.

        • Crashumbc@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          No, someone who refuses to use normal modes of communication, is sus.

          I wouldn’t trust someone who refuses to have a cellphone.

            • Crashumbc@lemmy.world
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              Outside of the US? Last 15-20 years…

              But it’s starting to fade even in the US, among teenagers.

              The anon failed to meet the expected social norms for environment he was in. The only difference between this and a guy getting turned down for any other reason is the Anon (and it seems many here) are all butthurt over it.

          • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
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            1 year ago

            I don’t understand why; I know a few women who don’t have Instagram (crazy, right) and this simple fact made them interesting to me.

    • PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk
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      In fairness, I’ve got a foldable flippy type phone and the number of conversations it starts is unreal. If I wasn’t happily attached (and had more banter than the average housebrick) I’m sure it’d lead to some good chats and encounters.

      As it stands though, it’s just a nice talking point.

      e: plus it’s satisfying as fuck ending a call by closing the phone.

    • TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id
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      Years ago I had one that was spring-loaded so you’d press a little button on the side and it would pop open in one move. I really liked that phone. Don’t remember what brand it was.

  • LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz
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    Ive missed out on job opportunities because i dont keep any socials. There have been a couple companies ive applied to that i got a callback from after the interviews where they basically said my lack of online presence was a red flag for them. Like wtf does it matter if i use facebook or linkden or whatever? I get that it helps them get a feel for the candidate before hiring them, but still…

    • Flyingostrich@endlesstalk.org
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      Funny thing is, some places love when people Dont have social media. I have had to go thrugh a lot of background checks for my jobs before and most of the time they are happy to hear that there is no social media for me to say dumb stuff on online.

    • Lorindól@sopuli.xyz
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      The obsession with social media is fucked up, in my opinion. All the AV- and IT-gear in my school were my responsibility for almost 20 years, I got nothing but praise from everyone. Keeping everything running smoothly was easy and I enjoyed it.

      Then one day our principal added “social media presence” to the list of my duties. I asked what that meant. “Well, posting weekly on Instagram and Facebook so that the community can see what good work we do here!”

      I resigned from the AV- and IT-duties at that moment. I have zero interest in touching those platforms and I consider posting pictures of students or their work online as a very bad idea.

      The principal was visibly shocked by my reaction but could not deny the resignation of my duties, since everyone else had gotten to change their duty roles yearly. Now I take care of the woodshop class and materials, which is nice.

      Two younger teachers took shared charge of the IT-duties. They have no idea how to handle any problems, nothing works anymore and people are pissed off, but now we have pictures on the Internet.

  • Stern@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Folks wanna know what they’re getting into. Your social media feeds are an easy indicator. Your twitter all retweets of Andrew Tate? Facebook filled with pics of you dressed up like a leather dog? Truth social? Concerning for many women.