I’m pooping next to my toilet, inside this wall. The tp roll is in my belly.
Now there are three of us
Same. There is also a handicap rail through my sternum.
(This is the exact scenario that occurred to me.)
Same, minus the pooping and being inside a wall. But I did eat a roll of toilet paper once. (/j) (I have never eaten a roll of toilet paper, yet)
I have simultaneously merged with my desk. My bowels have been displaced and are now bisected with bamboo. I feel simultaneously ripped apart and yet stuck and solid. Every point of my being is as though it has been engulfed in flames. My existence and identity has now become insufferable pain. I feel an impending sense of doom at a foreign body now lodged inside of me.
There are no wounds for me to bleed from and I cannot gasp for air to scream. My spinal cord has been severed and I feel hot prickles on my cheeks and my ears feel as though they are being stuffed with cotton. An internal white hot pressure feeling erupts up my now-fractured spine until it reaches the back of my head and radiates towards my forehead. My peripheral vision looks like static and everything appears to shake. I am unable to make sense of anything and everything goes dark and still.
U killed me op wow
my spinal cord has been severed and I feel hot prickles on my cheeks…
I read that as hot pickles and got realllllllly confused until I reread it.
me too, thanks for writing this so i didn’t have to
Really impressive that you typed this comment. RIP.
They could have become a prolific horror writer but instead they’ve been desk-integrated.
Ikr! They wrote this masterpiece while actively dying, so I’m sure they’d have been a fantastic author if not for their untimely end
blue
welp, I’m not sitting on a tram anymore
I’m now having an uncomfortable moment with the airline passenger in seat 26A.
I continue pooping in the next stall over.
Is it occupied?
If not before, it is now
I’m shitting in the shower.
Aw! I’m shitting in the sink!
I’m squatting on the landing at the top of the stairs and now need to shuffle off in shame to get some TP for my bunghole.
I’m shitting inside my vanity but also have the vanity inside me so I’m pretty sure I’m dead.
10 minutes ago I’d have been rolling on the freeway at 69mph. So dead either way I guess.
I’m now shitting in my bathtub…
Wooo! I’m now shitting in my shower. There’s dozens of us!
Beats doing it outside about 10 or more feet over muddy ground
I am now shitting in the sink.
I move into a space occupied by my desk, thus taking 3d10 force damage before moving to the next unoccupied space.
Weird. I also move into a space occupied by my desk, but a Fey mood takes hold of me and I grab the left corner of the table with my left nostril and wrestle it into an oak masterpiece which I then sell to an Elf, just to piss him off.
Inside my boyfriend, for once.
Not with that attitude
A true gamer never pleasures their spouse.
I am now sitting on the wing of a plane that is about to take off. Gonna try to Tom Cruise it. Will post updates soon.
I’m now in the lap of the guy in the stall next to me.
“Well hello there, come here often? Let me get that for you…”
Does the cat on my tummy come with me? If not Cheddar says that this expirement violates the cat sitting treaty of 1669
We only made that damn treaty because they promised to chase off the rats during the last bout of the Plague. We’ve had it twice more since then, lazy furballs.
Maybe we should stop forcefully removing cats from the locations people gather the most. Grocery stores. Churches. Places of business. Maybe the Egyptians knew a thing or two about keeping the Gods happy.
Edit for the downvoter: maybe you didn’t get the joke, but Egyptians basically worshipped cats. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cats_in_ancient_Egypt
I’ve now telefragged my colleague.
Still counts!
I telefrag the guy sitting next to me on the train
