I used to beg for money. I was a homeless heroin addict. I learned some interesting stuff begging for money. Being white myself. When I asked white people for money they would often look at me with disdain. Ask black people and they’d usually help ya out. It always seemed crazy to me that the white guy with a suit would treat you like garbage, but the black guy with gang tattoos on his his face and a car that needs work would throw ya a couple of bucks. I’ve heard black people say it works the other way around for them, but I had no way to test it heh.
I’m completely opiate free now for better or for worse. I say it like that because I suffer from crippling depression. Life is not enjoyable to me anymore. But, there are a lot of homeless guys where I live. I give them money, and blankets in the winter. Honestly, I give zero shits what they spend that money on. I don’t care if it’s drugs, alcohol, toothpaste, or socks. The money, once it leaves my hand is theirs to do with as they please. As long as that money brings them even a moment of happiness. As long as I make their life a little more bearable. I’m fine with that.
Exactly! Even if they spend it on drugs, what’s the problem? Let them have their moment of relief/happiness.
As an ex opiate addict myself, maybe I can relate to them too well for most people to understand. Also, what are they to do with 5 dollars if they aren’t hungry and have everything else they need at the moment?
my biggest concern with the skyrocketing opiate deaths is: if I go into the store and draw cash just because I feel real bad for this person, are they going to turn that $10 into the hit that kills them.
fentanyl is killing people like crazy, all over the place. I’d give them a joint or a beer, but the rare times I deal with cash for that uncertainty?
heard black people say it works the other way around for them, but I had no way to test it heh.
I can think of one way you can attempt to test it but I really really do not recommend it. If you do however please later on claim on Twatter that it was a social experiment that got misinterpreted.
Are those reports of people panhandling and walking home with a few hundred bucks a day at all accurate? Always seemed kind of like bullshit propaganda to me. I’m sure location matters quite a bit.
A couple of decades ago I gave a dollar to a guy begging in front of a grocery store. When I was leaving I overheard him telling the security guard that he’s taking his family on vacation next week so he won’t be around. Then I watched him walk all the way to the very furthest spot in the parking lot, get into a brand new van, and drive away. I was pretty pissed off because I was poor myself and a dollar meant a lot to me. This dude was taking from poor people by acting poorer, when he actually had enough money to own a brand new van and take his family on vacation.
Welp, it’s a true story. Whether the beggar was telling the truth when I overheard him or not is debatable, but I watched him get into a brand new van with my own eyes.
The world is a huge place and people suck. I’m sure it happens. But, in most places it’s hard to accomplish that. Here, if you’re spotted begging by the cops they’ll run you off, or arrest you.
Here we have laws that keep people from begging on the side of the road. So, that leaves gas stations. Gas stations are usually ok with it for a little while. There is an etiquette to it. Like, only ask people AFTER they go in and get what they need, and don’t go to the same spot more than like once a week. Don’t be there all day. Get what you need and leave. Bonus points if you can buy something from the gas station before you leave.
I personally only did it as the very last resort. It’s humiliating and you always have a chance of seeing someone you went to school with.
It’s out there, it exists. My coworker experienced it firsthand same guy tried begging off him three times. “Needs food”…wouldn’t take food, only wanted money. “Needs gas for car”…won’t take the gas in a gas can, only wants the money. So he can totally do it himself.
He said he called the cops & threatened to beat the shit out of him if he tried to run. The cops were aware of the situation. Says the wife “drops him off” in front of a store, business, gas station, whatever every day so he can “work” / beg for money.
Pretty sad because he should have a real goddamned job, he’s basically stealing from people, he delegitimizes actual people in need/is basically stealing from them too, and yeah even the wife is in on it.
I’m one of those guys who don’t give to beggars because I prefer to give through non-profits, which I do monthly. I prefer this anonymous kind of donation. I probably give more than those people who sometimes through a few dollars. So please consider this possibility too when you judge those people.
So, please please please don’t think that I’m poo pooing your choice. All help is valid and appreciated. But, a lot of those charities have overhead that they have to pay for. I can honestly say that in my over 10 years of being an addict and homeless. I may have received help from a charity like 5 times, and every time it was like toothpaste and socks. Which is better than nothing. But that’s why I choose to give the way I do. Just be sure to research who you’re giving money to if it’s a charity.
Also, and this is me personally. I never judged someone for not giving money. I only judged the way that they looked at me. Those micro aggressions that say things like pity, disgust, or even I’m so sorry, or I wish I could help without saying a word. If I asked and someone said I just don’t have it to give. That was totally fine. Hell, I don’t always have it to give. After all, we have to take care of ourselves first. Otherwise we can never help those in need.
was discussing this the other day with a person asking for help; I don’t know they were homeless but assume the situation and their state I’d highly doubt they had anything. The problem is that I get paid electronically and pay for damn near everything electronically and only touch cash every other month if that, and usually have to pay a fee to get cash.
I’d buy them a meal, hell, I’ll even buy a beer for some of the people I see frequently going in to the quicky mart, but I don’t cash. I also try to do my puny ‘philanthropy’ via community service and direct donations to planned parenthood (they will always get whatever rare few bucks I can spare).
a cashless economy is putting an even larger hit on these folk I imagine.
Yes, any organisation has overhead that grows with its size. But it is also necessary to help on a bigger scale and have more impact, for example by being able to open a restaurant for the homeless and reducing costs by buying and cooking in bulk. Also I’m in the EU so charities are probably better regulated than in the USA, they get government labels to allow for tax reduction so you know there’s some public utility control.
I’m not against judging, that’s natural, people who pretend not to, lie. I just wanted to add this idea to refine the judgement.
Oh, yeah that makes sense. Yeah, here in the states a whole lot of charities (even big ones) are little more than scams. It sucks because a lot of money goes into those charities and not a lot of that money is spent helping. Also, the US is HUGE. So, you might live in Alabama, and donate to a charity. But that charity mainly works in places like New York, and San Francisco, and Los Angeles all of which are several days drive from Alabama. So, if someone wants to help in the states, but go through a charity. I suggest volunteering time at a local place, or something like that. Otherwise, there is no way to tell where you’re money went, and there is very little accountability.
I have, but it’s more complicated than that. Everyone, had abandoned me, and I was homeless. Then, one night at a liquor store I ran into an ex of mine and her girlfriend. My ex and I talked for a while and went our separate ways. She called me a couple of weeks later and she had broken up with her partner and asked me out.
While on our date she said that if I was serious about getting clean I could live with her and she’d pay for my methadone. I took her up on that deal.
Things were going great. I started my own business. She has her own business. She got pregnant and we found out it was going to be a boy. 9 months later she gave birth.
Our son wasn’t even a year old and we realized something was wrong. At first we thought he was deaf, but after taking him to several doctors we found out that he is severely autistic. Like, on disability for the rest of his life autistic.
My partner had the more established business, and our son required/requires so much attention that I had to give up my business. I am his full time caregiver now. Plus my partner said that she didn’t want to deal with all the appointments and stuff.
TLDR I owe this woman my life. If I left her now… Well, it’s just not an option, and our livelihood depends on us being where we are. Also, I refer to her as my partner because not only are we not married. I’m actually married to someone else even though I haven’t seen her in 13 years.
I used to beg for money. I was a homeless heroin addict. I learned some interesting stuff begging for money. Being white myself. When I asked white people for money they would often look at me with disdain. Ask black people and they’d usually help ya out. It always seemed crazy to me that the white guy with a suit would treat you like garbage, but the black guy with gang tattoos on his his face and a car that needs work would throw ya a couple of bucks. I’ve heard black people say it works the other way around for them, but I had no way to test it heh.
I’m completely opiate free now for better or for worse. I say it like that because I suffer from crippling depression. Life is not enjoyable to me anymore. But, there are a lot of homeless guys where I live. I give them money, and blankets in the winter. Honestly, I give zero shits what they spend that money on. I don’t care if it’s drugs, alcohol, toothpaste, or socks. The money, once it leaves my hand is theirs to do with as they please. As long as that money brings them even a moment of happiness. As long as I make their life a little more bearable. I’m fine with that.
Exactly! Even if they spend it on drugs, what’s the problem? Let them have their moment of relief/happiness.
As an ex opiate addict myself, maybe I can relate to them too well for most people to understand. Also, what are they to do with 5 dollars if they aren’t hungry and have everything else they need at the moment?
my biggest concern with the skyrocketing opiate deaths is: if I go into the store and draw cash just because I feel real bad for this person, are they going to turn that $10 into the hit that kills them.
fentanyl is killing people like crazy, all over the place. I’d give them a joint or a beer, but the rare times I deal with cash for that uncertainty?
I can think of one way you can attempt to test it but I really really do not recommend it. If you do however please later on claim on Twatter that it was a social experiment that got misinterpreted.
Are those reports of people panhandling and walking home with a few hundred bucks a day at all accurate? Always seemed kind of like bullshit propaganda to me. I’m sure location matters quite a bit.
A couple of decades ago I gave a dollar to a guy begging in front of a grocery store. When I was leaving I overheard him telling the security guard that he’s taking his family on vacation next week so he won’t be around. Then I watched him walk all the way to the very furthest spot in the parking lot, get into a brand new van, and drive away. I was pretty pissed off because I was poor myself and a dollar meant a lot to me. This dude was taking from poor people by acting poorer, when he actually had enough money to own a brand new van and take his family on vacation.
This can’t possibly be true… The math doesn’t add up,
What math?
being able to fund a rich lifestyle by begging.
Welp, it’s a true story. Whether the beggar was telling the truth when I overheard him or not is debatable, but I watched him get into a brand new van with my own eyes.
The world is a huge place and people suck. I’m sure it happens. But, in most places it’s hard to accomplish that. Here, if you’re spotted begging by the cops they’ll run you off, or arrest you.
Here we have laws that keep people from begging on the side of the road. So, that leaves gas stations. Gas stations are usually ok with it for a little while. There is an etiquette to it. Like, only ask people AFTER they go in and get what they need, and don’t go to the same spot more than like once a week. Don’t be there all day. Get what you need and leave. Bonus points if you can buy something from the gas station before you leave.
I personally only did it as the very last resort. It’s humiliating and you always have a chance of seeing someone you went to school with.
It’s out there, it exists. My coworker experienced it firsthand same guy tried begging off him three times. “Needs food”…wouldn’t take food, only wanted money. “Needs gas for car”…won’t take the gas in a gas can, only wants the money. So he can totally do it himself.
He said he called the cops & threatened to beat the shit out of him if he tried to run. The cops were aware of the situation. Says the wife “drops him off” in front of a store, business, gas station, whatever every day so he can “work” / beg for money.
Pretty sad because he should have a real goddamned job, he’s basically stealing from people, he delegitimizes actual people in need/is basically stealing from them too, and yeah even the wife is in on it.
I’m one of those guys who don’t give to beggars because I prefer to give through non-profits, which I do monthly. I prefer this anonymous kind of donation. I probably give more than those people who sometimes through a few dollars. So please consider this possibility too when you judge those people.
So, please please please don’t think that I’m poo pooing your choice. All help is valid and appreciated. But, a lot of those charities have overhead that they have to pay for. I can honestly say that in my over 10 years of being an addict and homeless. I may have received help from a charity like 5 times, and every time it was like toothpaste and socks. Which is better than nothing. But that’s why I choose to give the way I do. Just be sure to research who you’re giving money to if it’s a charity.
Also, and this is me personally. I never judged someone for not giving money. I only judged the way that they looked at me. Those micro aggressions that say things like pity, disgust, or even I’m so sorry, or I wish I could help without saying a word. If I asked and someone said I just don’t have it to give. That was totally fine. Hell, I don’t always have it to give. After all, we have to take care of ourselves first. Otherwise we can never help those in need.
was discussing this the other day with a person asking for help; I don’t know they were homeless but assume the situation and their state I’d highly doubt they had anything. The problem is that I get paid electronically and pay for damn near everything electronically and only touch cash every other month if that, and usually have to pay a fee to get cash.
I’d buy them a meal, hell, I’ll even buy a beer for some of the people I see frequently going in to the quicky mart, but I don’t cash. I also try to do my puny ‘philanthropy’ via community service and direct donations to planned parenthood (they will always get whatever rare few bucks I can spare).
a cashless economy is putting an even larger hit on these folk I imagine.
Yes, any organisation has overhead that grows with its size. But it is also necessary to help on a bigger scale and have more impact, for example by being able to open a restaurant for the homeless and reducing costs by buying and cooking in bulk. Also I’m in the EU so charities are probably better regulated than in the USA, they get government labels to allow for tax reduction so you know there’s some public utility control.
I’m not against judging, that’s natural, people who pretend not to, lie. I just wanted to add this idea to refine the judgement.
Oh, yeah that makes sense. Yeah, here in the states a whole lot of charities (even big ones) are little more than scams. It sucks because a lot of money goes into those charities and not a lot of that money is spent helping. Also, the US is HUGE. So, you might live in Alabama, and donate to a charity. But that charity mainly works in places like New York, and San Francisco, and Los Angeles all of which are several days drive from Alabama. So, if someone wants to help in the states, but go through a charity. I suggest volunteering time at a local place, or something like that. Otherwise, there is no way to tell where you’re money went, and there is very little accountability.
Have you though if leaving to another place?
I have, but it’s more complicated than that. Everyone, had abandoned me, and I was homeless. Then, one night at a liquor store I ran into an ex of mine and her girlfriend. My ex and I talked for a while and went our separate ways. She called me a couple of weeks later and she had broken up with her partner and asked me out.
While on our date she said that if I was serious about getting clean I could live with her and she’d pay for my methadone. I took her up on that deal.
Things were going great. I started my own business. She has her own business. She got pregnant and we found out it was going to be a boy. 9 months later she gave birth.
Our son wasn’t even a year old and we realized something was wrong. At first we thought he was deaf, but after taking him to several doctors we found out that he is severely autistic. Like, on disability for the rest of his life autistic.
My partner had the more established business, and our son required/requires so much attention that I had to give up my business. I am his full time caregiver now. Plus my partner said that she didn’t want to deal with all the appointments and stuff.
TLDR I owe this woman my life. If I left her now… Well, it’s just not an option, and our livelihood depends on us being where we are. Also, I refer to her as my partner because not only are we not married. I’m actually married to someone else even though I haven’t seen her in 13 years.
Yes, out of this world if that’s what you mean.
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praytell where do you live that has avoided homelessness and drug addiction?