theOnion
I love watching porn, i really do.
But when i’m watching a movie/tv show, i wanna get some actual plot, you know?
I’m not against the presence of nudity/sex scenes in media. But i’m tired of seeing people on the screen copulating just for the sake of it (again, unless it’s porn).
I know that there are people who do have casual sex often (it’s kind of a cultural thing), but for a lot of us that’s just isn how it goes (or at least not in our current situation).
My point is, i want to see good writing, that does not have to force sex in order to be interesting or have high ratings.
Unfortunately, it seems the more tech we have, the less time and money do the big companies want to invest on making a good product.
Thus, support independent film makers!!
Hmm… Best we can do is have ol Oppenheimer say his famous catchphrase in the middle of sex. You sure you don’t want that?
No, i don’t.
My thing is that I know sex sells, and my monkey brain still gets drawn to that stuff. But I dont that it feels like I’m being bombarded by it from all sources. It’s tiring and doesn’t feel healthy.
Do-do-do-do-do!! Do-do-do-do-do!!
Do it HEALTHY!! 🥩🥬
Sex in movies makes your teeth go grey!
It can be too much as you can see in low budget trash movies.
I only want gay sex in media. Straight sex makes me uncomfortable.
this is the truth. gen z is not “puritanical” we just don’t like boring cookie cutter shit.
Look, I’m just some boring ace girl who happily lives with her ace girlfriend in our sex less lives. And sure we can appreciate a tasteful sex scene if it serves the plot.
But GAWD, so much media is horny on main.
if it serves the plot
To be perfectly honest, I can’t think of a single movie right now where this would even apply. The movies I can think of wouldn’t exactly change much if those scenes were removed …
On a semi-related note, I am personally also sick of romance being shoehorned into movies where it doesn’t belong, doesn’t further the plot, or even outright takes away from the main story. WTF was Tauriel doing in “the Hobbit” for example? The literally only point she served was being a flick for one of the less important dwarves, and they knew each other for maybe like six hours of which said dwarf was unconscious for at least four of them. But sure, let’s call it True Love™ and shove it into a movie that’s already nearly 3 hours long. sigh
I have nothing against romance in movies in general - but it needs to actually fit the narrative at least.
Do you think Jason Vorhees could have killed all those teenagers if they didn’t have sex all over his favourite camping grounds?
Terminator, maybe
Yep John Connor could have never existed without the romantic boning by that penis from the future.
Under the Skin. It’s an entire movie about sex that manages to avoid anything even close to titillation.
I mean that as one of the highest possible compliments you could give a film. It’s textbook “nudity for the plot” in a totally non-ironic way. It’s actually impressive, not to mention the film is very well-made in all respects.
Under the Skin
I just read up about it and I must admit, it sounds interesting. Might give it a go when I get the chance. Thanks ^^
It served the plot in episode 1 of Game of Thrones, but it certainly wasn’t tasteful.
How about the scene in Mullholland Drive where Naomi Watts masturbates to completion and the camera shows us her view as she orgasms? It didn’t add anything to the plot except to add insight to her character, but I thought it was pretty cool.
I think people should watch more stuff like that actually.
This belongs in the Onion article lmfao.
!The concept of sex in movies already reached its peak with Porky’s, and any attempts to improve on that are just embarrassing.!<
Never change Onion. 😄
Reminds me of their, “Art historians remain confused as to why anyone would create new art when Megadeth’s Rust in Piece already exists.”
Sex is really meant to be viewed live, anyway.
Sex is unrealistic. It was created by Walt Disney in the 1930s to make Donald Duck seem interesting, but nobody actually does it.
deleted by creator
What?
deleted by creator
My favorite: “We held a meeting and decided being radically open about gender while adopting a puritanical outlook on sex was the best way to shock Boomers to death”
Well yeah. With how easy it is to find porm why go to movies and tv to see it?
Sex scenes in tv and movies and sex scenes in porn aren’t really comparable imo
I watch a wide variety of movies, but the number of movies I see where the characters are supposed to be in high school and have sexual acts in them is wayyy to high. 28 year old actor playing a 17 year old, I just feel gross when those parts come up.
“It makes my AI girlfriend uncomfortable.”
Haha, The Onion is killing it, like always.
“Existence is pain, and sex is just a sedative.”
🤔 I mean… They’re not wrong
The ficticious quotes in that article are absolutely brilliant.
For real. This one got me the best:
“We held a meeting and decided being radically open about gender while adopting a puritanical outlook on sex was the best way to shock Boomers to death.”
Real reason: They all still live at home, have to watch with their parents, and will do until their parents die of old age.
What are you saying? That it seems today all you see is violence and movies and sex on TV?
Yeah! Where are those good old-fashioned values?
You mean those values on which we used to rely?
Effin’ cry
Is The Onion doing facts instead of satire now? This hits hard.
I love that TokenBoomer posted this
We just need to finally start adapting Brandon Sanderson’s books into games, shows and movies
Microtransaction Ideas:
-
Metal Reserves: Allow players to purchase in-game resources like metals (used for Allomancy) or Feruchemical charges.
-
Legendary Metals: Give players the opportunity to obtain rare and powerful Allomantic metals or Feruchemical attributes through microtransactions, increasing their abilities.
-
deleted by creator
