• hypertown@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      This reminds me of the story about some old dude’s dog that always shits on my neighbor’s sidewalk. One day neighbor saw that and run to that guy with scary look on his face. He started scolding old guy that he should clean after his dog and old guy respond he’s too old to do that, his back hurt and stuff. The dog saw the whole thing and in a shame he just ate his own shit so poor old man didn’t have to clean it up.

    • crawancon@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      my angel went one level derper.

      he took a shit, ate it, puked up that eaten shit, then started eating that shitty puke… which he puked.

      had to throw out that sofa.

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Angels attacked a friend of mine for more than 90 minutes, taking off and eating part of her legs, arms, breast and face. The paramedics that eventually brought her to the hospital were so traumatized they still have not returned to work. My friend has had 11 reconstructive surgeries so far.

    #touchedbyanangel

    • AquaTofana@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Right? These comments are wild. I used to browse r/dogfree because I thought it was (mostly) satire and OTT on purpose, and I’d laugh at a lot of it. I thought it was parodying something else.

      Every once in a while there’d be stories that made me empathize and feel bad for the person, like some people were saying that they had severe debilitating allergies and they couldn’t frequent their favorite restaurants anymore because pet patios were installed - yeah that sucks.

      Some stories were even straight up super sad, like people who were traumatized from being bitten/attacked earlier on in their lives. Yeah - I’d probably be wary of dogs too if that happened to me.

      But the vast majority of those comments were like “OMG DOGS STINK AND THEY SLOBBER EVERYWHERE. HOLY SHIT THEY LICK THEIR NUTS LOL FUCK DOGS AMIRIGHT?! THEY POOP ON THE FLOOR - GROSS.” I genuinely thought those were purposeful parody stories because hating dogs for just existing is such a…weird stance.

      Apparently it’s a thing though 🤷‍♀️.

      • Roboticide@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I wanna know if they all applied those sentiments to all pets.

        There isn’t a single domesticated animal that isn’t “gross” and has to be cleaned up after constantly. Dogs will shit on the floor when you don’t let them outside to shit in nature, but a cat doing what it’s supposed to do will shit in a box you have to empty regularly and shreds your furniture for fun. At least dogs only lick their balls, cats have the flexibility to straight up lick their assholes.

        • EddoWagt@feddit.nl
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          1 year ago

          You can train a cat to shit in the toilet and flush. Also, we accidently locked our cat out of access to the litter box at night ones and he shat in the corner of a closet, which I honestly just found very sad but polite

          • TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            I don’t know if that’s possible with every cat. Some cats are smart and some cats are dumb, just like people. Not only that, but even if the cat is smart enough, sometimes they just don’t want to listen.

            Have you trained your cat to do this? I don’t even know where you would start, but I’m interested.

            • EddoWagt@feddit.nl
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              1 year ago

              I have not, you have to train them from a really young age as cats get stubborn when they get older. We got our cat from a shelter, so we never got the chance to try. but basically you have to start with getting a litterbox which you can put on the toilet, after a while you can remove it and they keep dumping their load there. Not sure how you would get them to flush, but I have heard of cats doing just that

      • VoilaChihuahua@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Edgelords gonna edge. You like something common and popular? Well I don’t because I’m incredibly unique and tragically misunderstood - just like the other thousands of people whose sentiments I echo. Replying makes me a hypocrite, but pondering other’s self-imposed misery is a waste of your time. If we magically exterminated these pesky “x” all that pissy emotion would just transfer to the hot new “y”. Any reason to complain will do. It’s the act itself that releases the cortisol.

    • Maalus@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I personally hate any animal that poses a significant danger to me. So as much as I hate caracals, tigers, etc while loving cats, I hate large dogs that are aggressive, are able to kill me and if they decide to do so, I wouldn’t have too much of a defense against them. Anything else is fine by me.

      • dustyData@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        A cat could kill you, easily. They literally have razor sharp claws in all their legs, a well placed puncture or even an infected cut could endanger your life. Cats have, rarely, killed babies. They are literally mostly carnivore tiny tigers who kill for a living.

          • HikingVet@lemmy.sdf.org
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            1 year ago

            Cats prefer warm meat, so if you die and they are hungry they are multiple times more likely to start eating you immediately.

            Dogs at least will wait until its a survival issue.

  • Someonelol@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I saw an angel casually walk down a street with a human head in his mouth. I’d post the video but, y’know, rule 4.

  • PM_ME_YOUR_ZOD_RUNES@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    People complain about all the tankies plaguing Lemmy but I think the real issue is dog worshippers. I should start a community like FuckCars but about dogs instead.

    On second thought, that would probably attract people who love dogs a little too much…

      • PM_ME_YOUR_ZOD_RUNES@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        Surprisingly not. It’s about people who never stepped foot outside of a big city and think the entire world can function without cars. They have this crazy idea that without cars, we could just have buses, bike lanes, trains, etc… everywhere.

        They don’t realize (or care) that this is literally not feasible for many rural areas. There just isn’t enough people to support these services and the distances between locations is too great.

        • SkyeStarfall
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          1 year ago

          You know fuckcars just asks to have infrastructure like Europe, right?

          And as someone living in Europe… it’s great!

          Also, the USA literally used to have a train network going through darn near every village. It existed before cars, after all.

        • dragonflyteaparty@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Don’t listen to them. They’re exaggerating. Fuck cars is about wanting infrastructure to make more places walkable, not insisting everywhere must be walkable or accessible by public transit. Even though that would be cool, that’s so far from the actual truth.

          • Noite_Etion@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Used to live in country Australia, and there were no buses, trams, trains or even sidewalks. It’s 400km to the next town and without a car you are literally stranded.

            I’m all about public transport if it’s available, but without choices I’m forced to use the only available option.

              • Noite_Etion@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                Used to be, but when I tried to explain my (old) predicament looking for support/alternatives a lot of people just assumed I was some car lover. Yes it’s about better public transportation for all and I honestly want that. But a lot of their suggestions weren’t that realistic for rural Australians.

                Central Australia is one of the least population dense places in the world and there is too much space, not enough people and the cost of setting up a train/bus network would be astronomical; especially if you look at the cost per person, both economically and environmentally.

                Please understand that I really am not trying to start an argument, I am open to realistic alternatives, and want better forms of transportation everywhere. But I just hate being piled in with car nuts just because I disagree that adding more buses in central Aus would help at all. So, I just stopped going to fuck cars after a while.

                • SnipingNinja@slrpnk.net
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                  1 year ago

                  Aah, yes, that does happen. I personally think it’s a result of trying to apply their lived experience to a place so separate from theirs it might as well be a different continent (/j)

                  It’s an issue with the whole internet tbh, we as a society might not be as used to a global world as we’d like and that creates friction and troubles even when we agree on the larger point.

        • graymess@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          You have a fundamental misunderstanding of transit activists if you think that’s what they want. The meaning behind Fuck Cars is that we have harmed and destroyed so much of the world, our cities, our cultures, and our quality of life for the sole benefit of the private car industry. Obviously trucks have their uses in agriculture, construction, etc., but they have no business being driven through heavily populated neighborhoods. Cars should be a tiny fraction of the world’s modes of transport and instead it’s often the first and only option.

    • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Like all these comments about dogs are negative lol. It’s actually really weird how hateful these comments are. Like imagine someone hanging out with someone who said a cat was cute and then responding with “I fucking hate cats, I want to start a group about hating them so much.” Weird as fuck.

    • Bathtubwalrus@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      There was a subreddit for this called dogfree I believe, kinda like childfree. So I’m sure it’s a community that would have a following. I’m a dog lover, but I get they’re not for everyone.

    • DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe
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      1 year ago

      A hot, sexy angel, as the TV keeps telling me.

      But let’s be honest, God has killed way more people than Satan. Dude brags about it too, with his rainbows meaning

      “Haha, I promise not to hit you anymore… but I could.”

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Which is funny because how would you even defy an omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent being?

      Though the old testament did write them more as old friends that disagreed on some things rather than bitter enemies, having bets and fucking with humans for their amusement. Kinda like the whole thing was made up by a bunch of different people at different times who didn’t all have a strong grasp on what real power was and thought it required anger like a human with power that only exists because of threats of violence and were really just trying to turn their wise reputation into their own power backed by a vengeful god’s power.

      • Which is funny because how would you even defy an omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent being?

        From what I remember when my parents took me to church as a kid, he just kept bugging God for power. Eventually God had enough of his shit.

  • kingthrillgore@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Angels in the Bible: “Be not afraid”

    Angels in Ultrakill: “I WILL WRITE A BIBLE STORY IN YOUR BLOOD, MACHINE!”

  • Hopps@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    According to the lore, demons are fallen angels so you can keep this narrative going

  • TORFdot0@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    This tracks. The God of the Bible sent an angel to kill the first born child of every household in Egypt unless they splattered lamb’s blood over their door. (Hence the Passover)