This is why I don’t like the IA+ LGBTQIA+. Q was a good stopping point because queer is such a great way of saying “it’s complicated but not straight.”
Queer is a nice big tent we can all get under instead of performative labeling or over complication.
labels are useless last a certain point. you’re you and that’s all that matters.
if you absolutely need to pick a label (for a doctor’s form or whatever) bi would be what I would choose since what they’re really asking there is what genders do you sleep with.
You’re bi and you have a type.
idk I don’t wanna call myself bi cause I’m not into most men I’ve ever met, I don’t wanna mislead people
The thing about labels is that their usage depends on the particular context at time of use. I have a friend who is non binary, for example, but finds herself weary of explaining how someone can be femme presenting, use she/her pronouns, and be non binary. This means that when talking to people who aren’t LGBTQ, she finds “lesbian” is the most effective label to communicate, even though it’s a label she has largely outgrown the truth of. For some people, how they engage with identity labels is quite straightforward, and they present the same labels out to the entire world. For other people, more nuance is needed, and that’s okay too.
That is to say that if you read the above comment and thought “bi but with a type sounds like me, but I don’t want to call myself bi”, that’s fine. Labels like “bi” can help make oneself be more legible to the world at large, but you do not owe the world that. You are allowed to have complexity that doesn’t neatly fit into simple labels, and even if you did strongly identify with a label, you’re not obligated to divulge this freely.
You’re heteroflexible?
Neither are more gay men and straight women.
That’s me
Probably bisexual, but you’ve got a type.
Yeah. Let’s not overcomplicate it. They’re bi with a preference for femininity.
You’re horny.
There’s also ‘neptunic’, which sounds like what you’re describing, plus attraction to androgyny.
If you’re looking for a technical term, you would fall under gynosexual. But even with the term: only you can truly define your own sexuality.
Yeah gynosexual or gynephilic is how I describe myself
I’d say I generally lean the same way, and I consider myself bi.
Normal.
Fuck that, that’s implying any other orientation is abnormal. People should have the right words to describe their sexuality.
Thanks for downvote, but your response is still somewhere between unhelpful and a dog whistle.
i get what you’re trying to say, but maybe the poster was trying to be inclusive. being attracted to feminine people regardless of genitalia is not what most bigots would consider normal. my answer to the question “is it normal to be attracted to x” is “yes”, provided that x is a human person old enough to consent. in my opinion, it is also normal to not be attracted to anything. i am using normal in the value-judgement sense, not in the statistical sense.
Is there a secret, hidden insult in that comment that only you can see? Is it in the room with us right now?
Alice: So, how do you identify?
Bob: Normal.What’s the odds Bob’s a bigot? Someone asked how to describe their sexuality, “normal” is not a useful answer.
It’s not a bigoted one either.
“I like feminine people of all genders, what is that?”
“Normal.”
We don’t know OPs gender, but it doesn’t matter. All sexualities are normal.
Sure, if that’s you’re response to that exact question then yeah. But lets be honest here. Sub 10% of the population is identifies as anywhere on the LGBTQ spectrum (more or less). It’s pretty safe to say that if 90% of anything is ___ that’s the normal thing. I don’t understand why so many people are afraid of being labeled abnormal. Abnormal =/= morally wrong or anything.
While it’s <10% across the entire population, LGBTQ identification rates are at 23% for GenZ. https://news.gallup.com/poll/656708/lgbtq-identification-rises.aspx
But the reason it’s an issue for many is that people don’t really say “normal” to refer to things like sexuality, gender, etc. in a “statistically most likely” way, they use it specifically to exclude the other group from being considered normal as something lesser. Or, to put it another way…
Let’s be honest here. a high percentage of the time that someone categorizes something (implicitly or explicitly) as “abnormal” it is done with intent to label the subject as something undesirable. It’s pretty safe to say that if a term is very often used in a negative way in a specific context, then we can reasonably assume that default definition when that’s the context we’re in. I don’t understand why people are so often afraid to acknowledge that we don’t live in a world of pure definitions, and rather must exist in a situation where the context of a statement is relevant.
I believe it implies that being attracted to masculine people is abnormal. This isn’t an insult, but is sexist.
It…really doesn’t. OP’s gender isn’t mentioned, either.
Are you implying that something else would be abnormal?
They probably mean it more in the sense of common, regular, standard or majority. If I say I’m a normal bloke happy with my gender, I’m not trying to shit on trans people, I’m just talking about myself.
Nope.
Then use a different word
No
I think trying to define it is fairly pointless. We love what we love and we lust what we lust. Rather than defining it, I wish we could all just accept that and stop hating people for having different preferences.
Yep. We don’t give names for people who like red and their second favourite colour is yellow.
Just be yourself, be kind to others and move on.
Yep, but sometimes you want to communicate about your preferences, and then you need understandable terminology. Giving names to phenomena is generally useful. Discussing things is useful. Understanding natural diversity is great and important.
Fair point but I’m not sure that naming every permutation is possible. We might be better off trying to make do with charts or something.
Yes.
Sapphic, perhaps.
That feels cursed as a fandom dot com wiki
Yeah, lgbt being a fandom sounds super phobic. Just looked up gynesexual on a search engine and copied the first link that had a definition.
This was the term I’ve heard, but damn does it sound terfy…
probably because it sounds close to gynophilia
Fucked if I know the new terms but for my entire 20+ years of sexually active life, you would be classified as bi. But like I said or implied, Im old as fuck and have no clue what the currently accepted term may be. If I need to know the new sexuality/gender terms then im fucking a woman who is way too young than I should be fucking with. Thats a statement of the types of people who live in my area and not a blanket statement that no older individuals use current sexuality identities.
From Fetlife’s Kinktionary:
Finsexual: Usually refers to a person who is attracted to femininity regardless of a person’s gender identity. Is sometimes considered more inclusive than Gynesexual (as the prefix “gyne” focuses on female anatomy).
Labels exist to describe what is. You don’t need to fit neatly into a category. You like who you like, and you shouldn’t apologize for it.
Like for me, I’m attracted to the late Andre Braugher portraying the gay man Captain Holt on Brooklyn 99 when he’s pretending to be straight and describing his fictitious partner’s heavy breasts. Nothing sexier than that, but the brain trust at Oxford hasn’t come up with a word for that one yet.
Oh fuck you! I was not prepared to learn one of my favorite sitcom characters is dead. Fuck me, now I gotta Google how he passed.
My condolences. He died too soon.
Holt talking about thigh gap is hilarious.
“There’s nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.”
Of course you don’t have to fit a box. But it’s easier to communicate your preferences if there is a lable you can use for yourself. OP is trying to find out if there is such a shortcut they could use. Explaining that they don’t necessarily need to do that is not helpful.
Sure, but it’s also helpful to know that there aren’t labels for everything, nor do we need labels for everything. Really, the only person you need to communicate your preferences to is the person you prefer. In my (admittedly limited) experience, romantic partners don’t want to be reduced to a subset of their attractive physical features. “I like you” is generally sufficient, and it’s not really anybody else’s business what you like or don’t like. We’re conditioned to try to label ourselves, and I would argue that it is unhealthy reinforcing that conditioning by inventing new labels.
OP could describe themselves as bi or pan or omni, but none of those are the sum total of OP’s lived experience. We should describe ourselves, not define ourselves.
I agree. I just percieve OP’s post as trying to find a lable because they just want to know whether there is one. It’s ok to want to know and telling them they don’t need it is not helpful.
Oh fuck you! I was not prepared to learn one of my favorite sitcom characters is dead. Fuck me, now I gotta Google how he passed.I’m
