Hi! Just wondering how you folk were feeling today.
As for me, I had a rough last few weeks, but on Friday I started getting out of my funk thanks to the much needed and valued support of a friend.
Finally feeling a bit better today after getting part of my mess together. I still have some stuff to fix before I feel well, but the improvement is nice.
This got me to thinking how you guys were doing, cause idk. Talking about how I was feeling and the problems I’ve been facing with my friend helped me a lot. I thought a space to share or vent might help someone else.
Would really appreciate it if we tried to keep it supportive and non judgmental too. We don’t know what it’s like for others, after all. Thanks in advance. <3
So anyway, how are you?
Edit: Gonna go get something to eat now and have to get some work done, but will be back in a few hours. Take care and thanks to all of you that have shared!
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I’m in trouble, I can’t choose between Tangananica and Tanganana.
I was fearing someone else would also be struggling with this.
My suggestion is:
Choose pudú.
Absurd! The Dikdik party is the only sensible solution to the social and economic malaise our people face every day.
D:<
I’m tired, boss.
Me too, DarkFuture. Me too.
Me three
Feeling really good! 😃 I’m aiming to get my passport so I can travel the world. The destinations on the top of my list are all on different continents. I’ve already got so many plans laid out and I’ve been spending the past week or so mentally prepping myself by watching videos about airports. I haven’t flown in a while and they’re gonna be long haul flights!
Ooooh you’re gonna get that fresh passport smell!! mmMMMmm plastic that lets you cross gates with armed guards. :D
Congrats on the awesome goal and it’s good you’re making plans! Videos of airports sounds umm… well, I guess you gotta get psyched somehow. hehe. I’m really glad you’re getting in the right headspace too.
I hope you get your passport soom and have amazing, wonderful adventures everywhere around the world, and all your wildest dreams not only come true, but are surpassed beyond your imagination. No, seriously. I hope you have good travels. The time I spent traveling changed my life for the best.
Godspeed, Elaine Cortez. Godspeed and thanks for sharing a little bit about your life. :)
Thank you! ❤️
My brain is like a planet with a very thin crust with a black hole inside. Everything I am is built on this extremely delicate shell of stability, and sometimes it seems like I spend most of my time clinging to the edge after having fallen through. Medication makes the shell thicker and more stable, but there’s still a black hole in my head and it’s never going to go away and I’m so tired of fighting falling in.
That sounds really hard to handle. I’m sorry.
there are some aspects of my personality and person that took me a long time to come to terms with and accept because they seemed all bad to me. No possible upside. With time, thought, I came to understand that those aspects of myself have different value depending on context and situation, and sometimes, although not often, being the way I am in those ways I hate is great and a huge advantage.
Idk if this applies to you, but idk. Surely black holes are good for something? Maybe their power of attraction can somehow be channeled.
Either way, sorry you’re struggling with that. Good luck.
In the metaphor, the black hole is nihilistic, all-consuming, apathetic depression, and I just want to stop struggling, let everything fall apart and fall in and kill myself
Idk. detachment can be an advantage. So can carelessness and refusal to act. Definitely not all the time for all things but in the right circumstances all those things could save your life.
I get what you mean though and I’m sorry. I’ve struggled with depression a lot and it’s horrible. I wish I had the solution, pixeltree. I really do. I think it has to do with listening to myself, but can’t be really sure because I’m not fully past my own demons yet either.
Anyway, thanks for taking the time to explain. Hope you feel better soon and it becomes easier to endure.
Keep waking up at night and just not getting back to sleep again. No reason for it that I can see. Not anxious or afraid, not unhealthy. Just keep not sleeping.
Also my little boy bit through his lip at Nursery today so he’s gonna be a super cranky little bear later when I pick him up and I need to be happy and supportive for him.
That happens to me too. I sometimes just don’t sleep out of… idk… spite? Not sure if that makes sense or not but it’s like “screw you, pudutr0n, you don’t get to sleep more. me and the boys are going out to have fun!”
I’m sorry about your little boy and I hope he’s not as cranky as you expect. You’re doing good work raising a little human with care and support. Not everyone has the same consideration.
Hope you have a great day. Peace to you, RizzoTheSmall.
Urgh, feeling down. I think I slept in the wrong position and now my lower right leg is throbbing and feels warm, and my sciatica feels weird. It’s giving me a headache.
Worse part is, I need to revise for a tech interview tomorrow and this weird pain is going to waste my day today. Sigh
Noooooooooooooooooooooo I hate sleeping in the wrong position, and yeah it sounds like you have a bad case of that.
Idk how to help you get through the pain tbh. Siatica can be horrible. Sorry. Hope you feel better soon and if we don’t speak till then, good luck on the interview tomorrow!
I believe in you, Ardyssian. You got this.
Thank you :) And good to hear that you’re doing well - haven’t experienced that feeling in a long while.
I guess I’ll try and sleep early tonight to sleep off the pain, after doing a few rounds of stretches to relieve the tension.
Sounds like a plan! And anytime. You take care of yourself now, and I hope things pick up for you as well.
I woke up this morning and eleven minutes later I was convinced that I needed to end it all. Luckily things have gone up from there. Exercise is such a stupid trick but it gives my brain the happy chemicals.
❤️🫂
Damn. I’ve been in similar moods / states of mind and they can really be hell. Even did my very best to get the deed done one time, but ended up waking up in a hospital, only to be locked up in a psych ward for months. It was the single most horrible time period of my life.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I know how it feels and I have no doubt in my mind you don’t deserve one ounce of it. I don’t know if anyone does tbh.
I’m glad you could get out of the funk and yeah, exercise seems like one of those things that is all benefit once you get rolling. Glad it helped and hope things pick up. Keep the happy chems flowing. :)
❤️🫂
Weird. On one hand, everything is dandy. On the other… Self-hatred is simply weighing down on me and while I know I have to work on it, it’s been 2-steps-forward-1.5-steps-back type of deal.
Human psyche is fucked up. You can have everything you might need, be as successful as you can be, but if there’s anything gnawing at you, no matter how small it might be, it will murderfuck you to the deepest pits of mental hell
I hear that, Metju. I really do.
Most of the most miserable moments of my life where during times i had everything “on paper”, as in… the check list of “things you need to be happy” was complete. Nowadays I’m poorer, unhealthier, have less friends, have a worse job, no partner, and basically have nothing glamorous to brag about… but I’m about a hundred times happier than I was back when i had the full checklist.
It’s funny cause I want some of those things back now, despite knowing how irrelevant they are. There’s something about me wanting to lie to myself about how important those things are and my happiness being up to them and not myself.
Yeah, human psyche is fucked. I guess the lies we tell each other to get status, money or votes we end up believing and then we go on these wild goose chases.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with self hatred. If it’s of any value to you at all, you seem like an insightful person and I appreciate you taking your time to share your thoughts and feelings with me.
Take care, Metju.
A bit all over the place lately. I found out I’m having a kid, which is very exciting, and pretty much the thing giving me motivation at work right now. I work in a kitchen and generally like what I do, but upper management is awful and it’s only going to get worse. We got a new big wig recently, so now a bunch of changes are being made to make us more “efficient”.
I’m considering a career change, but I’m planning to take full parental leave (8 weeks for fathers where I am) when the baby comes in the fall, and plan on also taking my vacation during that time (either right before or right after), so I want to wait until that’s all done first. I’ll probably look for a new job in the new year. Some days it’s hard to wait out that long though, today was rough. If every day is like today I don’t know how I’ll make it through the rest of the year. I expect a mass quitting soon if that’s the case.
Well first of all, congrats on the kid and good for you for owning up on it and adapting to their arrival. Might be scary but seems like you’re handling that well so kudos. I’m sorry the days are hard right now. Hope you can make that career change work. To me it’s been weird. Opportunity comes at the strangest times and to me it’s all been about keeping my eyes open. Good luck and thanks for taking your time to tell and and us about your life. Much appreciated, cod.
Thanks for making the post. It’s nice to air out the emotions sometimes.
Thanks! And yeah, definitely helps me, anyway. Have a good one!
Great. Recently got promoted at my job.
Woah! Congrats! Feels so good to have hard work recognized. I bet you’ve been doing an awesome job too. If I had to bet, probably well deserved.
Thanks for sharing and have a nice day Joeyowlhouse.
Been a stressful damn week. Past 2 months has been a long decade too. But today’s going pretty chill at least
Yeah it seems like the year’s been so long and it’s not even april yet. Crazy stuff.
I’m glad you were doing well yesterday. Thanks for sharing!
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wat
I spent the last seven days in medicine that gives me brain fog because I have a dental abscess that is expanding my jaw. I have a root canal for another tooth tomorrow (later today technically, it’s after midnight now). I’m tired. I’m tired.
That sounds really painful. Sorry you’re going through that. I hope you can get some rest.
Legal weed keeps the teeth from mattering when they hurt.
Which is good because the soonest now the dental abscess is looked at is September.
Damn. I really need to go to the dentist myself. Have some literal holes in my molars that are killing me when i eat nuts and stuff like that. Hope you get the help you need and the root canal goes well, RebekahWSD. Have a good night.
I feel immensely stressed about the US. I already felt stressed under the last guy but this feels wildly different and dangerous. When I spoke to a counselor about this in 2022ish they always just turn it back onto me.
I get you. In light of recent events I ended up looking for answers in a philosophy text book and landed on Jean-Jacques Rousseau and his social contract.
There were two points to me that stuck out, the first was that Rousseau how systems of governance become increasingly difficult the larger the group (modern communication would probably make this easier) and that the public will must be inclusive of all, not exclusive.
Looking out at the US today, I feel like it utterly fails in this philosophy (even though founders like TJ were a fan of his work), and while lot of places also fail, but the US at this point in time feels completly anathema to the concept of empathy, ethics, and the public will. Unfortunatly, the solution that historically tended to go hand in hand with these enlightenment ideals also got a bit choppy with kings, fairly revolty and that is a hard pill to swallow.
Don’t want to hijack this or anything, but following the news, even from here (a faraway land), was wreaking havoc on my mental health. I had to stop reading about it and looking at the news. It started feeling like looking at gore at some point. Just scratching some morbid itch about wanting to see horrible things. Since the outer world seemed lost, I started working on my inner world. I’m by no means a completely satisfied person, but I can tell you I’ve felt better. My life, circumstances have not improved one bit and the risks I and we all face have not changed, if not gotten worse, but I’m in a better place. Not a great one, but better.
I really hope things get better for everyone.
I know, it’s total chaos. It’s just awful. The world survived him once, so our survival rate is 100%. Doesn’t make it easier going through it though, and the whole thing is awful
A counselor being dismissive can’t feel good. Really sorry about that. And yeah, the US seems to be pretty chaotic right now. It feels to me like the entirety of western civilization is in crisis sometimes, and I get overwhelmed and stressed. It really does feel very dangerous and I wish it didn’t affect you and so many other people as much as it has.
Not saying I have any solutions but sometimes, when my entire life and everything is going straight to hell, i can make myself feel a little bit better by closing my eyes and remembering the good things I still do have, and just appreciating them for a second amidst the chaos. Like the support of people who care, the little health I have left, the roof over my head and my computer. haha. In my case it ain’t much, but it could be a lot worse. For me, anyway.
Just those little moments of trying to find some precarious version of inner peace make it a bit more manageable to me. Not that they’ll fix anything regarding circumstance, but they let me catch a breath and sometimes that’s what I need.
Thanks for taking the time to open up and I really wish the world becomes a friendlier place for you and all of us. Take care and with any luck, those counselors will start doing their jobs better to actually help people having a crisis.
Stay strong, ocean.
Thanks for your kind reply :)
Anytime, ocean. Hope it gets better for you and all of us.
Me too, edgemaster72. Me too.
Stay strong and keep your mastery on those edges!
