I… don’t dig this. I get it, and I appreciate it might ring bells for people who’ve already trodden a similar path, but a person who identifies as a man identifies as a man, not a “man”. Presuming and predicting other peoples’ gender epiphanies or dysphoria feels quite close to misgendering.
It’s also a post in a trans community, so it probably speaks to a lot of people’s experiences. I didn’t feel like it’s rude, especially after thinking about it recontextualized from a political context. Like, what if someone made a meme about seeing leftist memes but they were really a “conservative” and that was posted in a leftist circle. It might just be me, but it doesn’t seem rude either way because that would speak to me as someone in a circle like that.
I respect everything you’ve written, but the context of the screenshot is seeing someone comment in a general forum, who implicitly identities as cis-het, and publicly weighing the odds that they’re a trans person who hasn’t yet come to that realization. It feels presumptive in a way that doesn’t sit right with me, though I’m not sure I can verbalize it better.
The best parallel I can draw is assuming that a stereotypically camp guy or that a girl who’s a “tomboy” are gay. Yeah, the odds are weighted towards it somewhat, but extrapolating and going “oh ho ho, I know how this ends up” really feels disrespectful and assumptive in a way that feels parallel to misgendering.
Yeah, I questioned posting it in the first place because of the quotes, but I figured it was fine, since this is a sub for trans folks, who I figured would recognize the implication that it is in fact a trans woman whose egg is about to crack
I… don’t dig this. I get it, and I appreciate it might ring bells for people who’ve already trodden a similar path, but a person who identifies as a man identifies as a man, not a “man”. Presuming and predicting other peoples’ gender epiphanies or dysphoria feels quite close to misgendering.
Maybe I’m being over-sensitive?
It’s also a post in a trans community, so it probably speaks to a lot of people’s experiences. I didn’t feel like it’s rude, especially after thinking about it recontextualized from a political context. Like, what if someone made a meme about seeing leftist memes but they were really a “conservative” and that was posted in a leftist circle. It might just be me, but it doesn’t seem rude either way because that would speak to me as someone in a circle like that.
I respect everything you’ve written, but the context of the screenshot is seeing someone comment in a general forum, who implicitly identities as cis-het, and publicly weighing the odds that they’re a trans person who hasn’t yet come to that realization. It feels presumptive in a way that doesn’t sit right with me, though I’m not sure I can verbalize it better.
The best parallel I can draw is assuming that a stereotypically camp guy or that a girl who’s a “tomboy” are gay. Yeah, the odds are weighted towards it somewhat, but extrapolating and going “oh ho ho, I know how this ends up” really feels disrespectful and assumptive in a way that feels parallel to misgendering.
Again, it’s possible I’m reacting too strongly.
It is, and that’s why we have the egg prime directive here.
Yeah, I questioned posting it in the first place because of the quotes, but I figured it was fine, since this is a sub for trans folks, who I figured would recognize the implication that it is in fact a trans woman whose egg is about to crack
You’re not being oversensitive this post very much borders on Egg Prime directive violation.