I think at this point actual human interaction is probably more positive than dating apps. Which is a pretty sorry state of affairs and I’m not keen on it. I don’t want to meet people I want algorithms to do it for me, we’re supposed to live in the future damn it.
I never really had trouble getting dates on Tinder, etc., but very few of those led to second dates. Of the people I’ve dated that I met without the help of apps, I probably would’ve “swiped left” on most of them. As another user said, general human interaction is my current route, focusing my energy on social interactions where I can meet people the old fashioned way: mostly friends of friends. That can range from get togethers at someone’s house, happy hours, general meetup groups, volunteering, hobbies and/or classes.
This, I think I had over 100 first dates and maybe 10 second dates. I’m not a catfish by any means, but I think people just come off differently over text than in-person, it can be kind of a whiplash.
Yeah, I used to want to text a lot before meeting face to face, but have learned that almost always means I start to “fill in the blanks” and the person I meet never matches up with my expectations. By meeting face to face quickly, I don’t have a chance to build those expectations and am unlikely to feel “catfished” by anything other than blantant lies on their profile.
I think the bigger problem is that the apps really amplify the sense of “there’s always more fish in the sea.” So if that first date wasn’t full of sparks, people often prefer to see what other options are out there, rather than going on second dates to see if anything develops.
With the online approach, I know I’m very guilty of focusing on the other person’s “flaws”, and deciding they’re deal breakers. With people I meet via offline methods, we generally get to know each other a bit more organically and end up having multiple unofficial “dates” before the first official date.
My last actual date was over a year ago, with someone I met offline through mutual friends. There was definitely an initial spark, but it fizzled almost as quickly (mostly my own discomfort with emotional intimacy). We’re actually still friends though, and hang out with each other more often than I hang out with the friend who introduced us. If we had met via dating apps, I highly doubt we would still be friends because we just wouldn’t have any reason to cross paths organically.
Going out, doing stuff you like and talking to people. I love raves, so that’s where I generally meet people for dates. I’ve gotten dates at board game evenings, doing sports, or in a museum.
You just gotta talk to someone who has caught your eye. Make sure to let them know you find them attractive and if it’s mutual you’ve got a thing. Rejections are normal and okay, at this point I’m more comfortable with them than actually going on a date :P
I found my girlfriend last October on hinge. What really made that app work for me are the ice breakers. Putting effort into a profile that highlights who you are will at some point attract the right people. And using ice breakers prompts to start a conversation was always kind of fun to check out the conversation vibe.
But it really took some effort getting started, working on my communication skills and exploring what I really like in a partner and what I like about me. It took me a year and tons of dates that weren’t a fit though.
Does anyone have suggestions for anything decent dating wise since I’m sure lots of people seeing this post also want to find the best ways to date?
I think at this point actual human interaction is probably more positive than dating apps. Which is a pretty sorry state of affairs and I’m not keen on it. I don’t want to meet people I want algorithms to do it for me, we’re supposed to live in the future damn it.
I never really had trouble getting dates on Tinder, etc., but very few of those led to second dates. Of the people I’ve dated that I met without the help of apps, I probably would’ve “swiped left” on most of them. As another user said, general human interaction is my current route, focusing my energy on social interactions where I can meet people the old fashioned way: mostly friends of friends. That can range from get togethers at someone’s house, happy hours, general meetup groups, volunteering, hobbies and/or classes.
This, I think I had over 100 first dates and maybe 10 second dates. I’m not a catfish by any means, but I think people just come off differently over text than in-person, it can be kind of a whiplash.
Yeah, I used to want to text a lot before meeting face to face, but have learned that almost always means I start to “fill in the blanks” and the person I meet never matches up with my expectations. By meeting face to face quickly, I don’t have a chance to build those expectations and am unlikely to feel “catfished” by anything other than blantant lies on their profile.
I think the bigger problem is that the apps really amplify the sense of “there’s always more fish in the sea.” So if that first date wasn’t full of sparks, people often prefer to see what other options are out there, rather than going on second dates to see if anything develops.
With the online approach, I know I’m very guilty of focusing on the other person’s “flaws”, and deciding they’re deal breakers. With people I meet via offline methods, we generally get to know each other a bit more organically and end up having multiple unofficial “dates” before the first official date.
My last actual date was over a year ago, with someone I met offline through mutual friends. There was definitely an initial spark, but it fizzled almost as quickly (mostly my own discomfort with emotional intimacy). We’re actually still friends though, and hang out with each other more often than I hang out with the friend who introduced us. If we had met via dating apps, I highly doubt we would still be friends because we just wouldn’t have any reason to cross paths organically.
I suggest getting a dog and giving up on dating
Going out, doing stuff you like and talking to people. I love raves, so that’s where I generally meet people for dates. I’ve gotten dates at board game evenings, doing sports, or in a museum.
You just gotta talk to someone who has caught your eye. Make sure to let them know you find them attractive and if it’s mutual you’ve got a thing. Rejections are normal and okay, at this point I’m more comfortable with them than actually going on a date :P
I found my girlfriend last October on hinge. What really made that app work for me are the ice breakers. Putting effort into a profile that highlights who you are will at some point attract the right people. And using ice breakers prompts to start a conversation was always kind of fun to check out the conversation vibe.
But it really took some effort getting started, working on my communication skills and exploring what I really like in a partner and what I like about me. It took me a year and tons of dates that weren’t a fit though.
Facebook Dating is the best I’ve found. Completely free and the algorithm is effective.