Nothing they said there seems unreasonable. They/them seems like a perfectly normal (and more importantly neutral) default way of referring to people. If I was in person with someone, and they started throwing a fit because I defaulted to they/them for them (which I usually do), I would assume they were a bigot who doesn’t understand pronouns.
Not saying that’s the case with these other people, but I believe there’s a reasonable limitation on how much you can expect strangers to assume/understand on first meeting.
… especially on lemmy, where the usernames are visible, but not really emphasized. It’s a different story on people-centered platform, like Mastodon, or Bluesky. But I prefer not to know the usernames already on lemmy.
The problem lies with users who default to they/them even after being informed of the correct pronouns, especially users who continue to do so in the same comment thread. Making mistakes is going to happen, but quickly apologizing (even if you’re arguing) and editing your message to resolve the mistake is the bare minimum. Even as a mod I really only recognize a few users and remember their pronouns (honestly, mostly because they overuse the reporting system), but when I engage with or talk about users I check profiles to see if any pronouns are posted in the bio. This is a trans-inclusive queer instance, respecting gender identity (YES EVEN CIS-HETERO PEOPLE) is incredibly important.
Nothing they said there seems unreasonable. They/them seems like a perfectly normal (and more importantly neutral) default way of referring to people. If I was in person with someone, and they started throwing a fit because I defaulted to they/them for them (which I usually do), I would assume they were a bigot who doesn’t understand pronouns.
Not saying that’s the case with these other people, but I believe there’s a reasonable limitation on how much you can expect strangers to assume/understand on first meeting.
… especially on lemmy, where the usernames are visible, but not really emphasized. It’s a different story on people-centered platform, like Mastodon, or Bluesky. But I prefer not to know the usernames already on lemmy.
The problem lies with users who default to they/them even after being informed of the correct pronouns, especially users who continue to do so in the same comment thread. Making mistakes is going to happen, but quickly apologizing (even if you’re arguing) and editing your message to resolve the mistake is the bare minimum. Even as a mod I really only recognize a few users and remember their pronouns (honestly, mostly because they overuse the reporting system), but when I engage with or talk about users I check profiles to see if any pronouns are posted in the bio. This is a trans-inclusive queer instance, respecting gender identity (YES EVEN CIS-HETERO PEOPLE) is incredibly important.