I was with a man for four years and thought we were going to get married. He was a widower and I fell in love for the first time. When I found out he was cheating, it killed me. I felt my whole self die.
I miss myself. I wake up every day and go through the motions, even try to date here and there, but at the end of the day I am a soulless husk of a person. I’ve tried focusing on myself - losing weight, exercising, rejuvenating old hobbies, lots and lots of therapy and meds. Nothing helps. At this point I’m only living because I have three pets who rely on me.
I still don’t understand why I deserved that. I guess this is just as good as life gets for someone like me.
I feel for you. I have not had your experiences but I could see how it sucks. Im glad you did not get married or had kids though as that would have just made it so much worse and its good you found out. Not sure why you are only living for your pets though. Do you not enjoy your hobbies. I mean I get it if you are not getting the first two of the hierachy of needs because I think many are not nowadays which does make the third one hard to work on. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow’s_hierarchy_of_needs#Physiological_needs