I was with a man for four years and thought we were going to get married. He was a widower and I fell in love for the first time. When I found out he was cheating, it killed me. I felt my whole self die.
I miss myself. I wake up every day and go through the motions, even try to date here and there, but at the end of the day I am a soulless husk of a person. I’ve tried focusing on myself - losing weight, exercising, rejuvenating old hobbies, lots and lots of therapy and meds. Nothing helps. At this point I’m only living because I have three pets who rely on me.
I still don’t understand why I deserved that. I guess this is just as good as life gets for someone like me.
What he did does not reflect poorly on you. You were taken in, lied to, and victimized.
This was not your fault, you didn’t ask for it, and you deserve better.
Some people are just shitty, weak, and/or selfish. None of it defines you, only him.
I wholeheartedly disagree, no one deserves to be cheated on and that’s his choice and his fault🖕.
Everyone including you deserves to be treated with more kindness and empathy🌻
I have hope that you’ll find someone better than your ex as even in the conservative province that I live in is still full of emotionally supportive and trustworthy people🌸🍀
Take a look back in time, maybe it wasn’t actually as good as you think it was.
Don’t blame the victim, you are not responsible for your partner’s choices. There was nothing you could have done to change it and even if you could have it would have just postponed the heartbreak. Be glad you found out when you did.
I feel for you. I have not had your experiences but I could see how it sucks. Im glad you did not get married or had kids though as that would have just made it so much worse and its good you found out. Not sure why you are only living for your pets though. Do you not enjoy your hobbies. I mean I get it if you are not getting the first two of the hierachy of needs because I think many are not nowadays which does make the third one hard to work on. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow’s_hierarchy_of_needs#Physiological_needs
Few people get what we “deserve” in life. And that word is misused anyway.
I mean the dude obviously believed he deserved multiple partners. You disagreed so he lost you. Does that mean his life is as good as it gets for him? Is he now hollow on the inside because he couldn’t keep multiple partners?
There are highs and there are lows in life. How long they last nobody knows, but we should enjoy what we earn.
Is this the best you can do in life? If you give up on it then probably. A common mistake is that people do stuff expecting a specific end goal when we should be enjoying the experience and letting an end goal forming naturally.
Exercise, hobbies, therapy, meds - they’re a chore for you. They’re not enjoyable so of course the end result is an empty husk. There’s no meat inside, no joy, no love.
You gotta give up these expectations and value the experience itself. If sports and your old hobbies don’t work, then try something new. But you gotta love it for what it is and not just use it to find love and then throw it away.
