I socially transitioned before I started hormones, and when I went out in public wearing women’s clothes, people would look at me frequently, and some people would stare at me. It was obvious I didn’t pass from these kinds of responses, but I also got somewhat used to that treatment.

Over time, with hormone therapy, I get fewer and fewer instances of this. I haven’t been stared at in a long time, and I think people look at me less.

At one point I would describe my experience as being a “woman shaped object” - in people’s peripheral vision I looked like a normal woman, but if someone interacted with me they could tell I was trans.

I went out yesterday and got my nails done, went shopping, went out for dinner, etc. and interactions with people made me think they couldn’t tell I was trans, but I just don’t know whether they can actually tell or not.

While waiting in line to buy some clothes, a woman wanted to chat about how long the line was taking, and she interacted with me as though I were a normal woman - there wasn’t a hint of stigma, curiosity, etc.

Anyway - this just makes me wonder: what are others’ experiences with passing and not-passing, what are little clues that you aren’t passing or when you are?

I assume you just can’t actually tell when people are being polite vs not knowing, but maybe there are little hints.

Thanks!

  • cowboycrustation [he/him]M
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    1 month ago

    At this point in my life I am content with the good friends that I’ve made in college. I find that I have the closest friendships with queer men because there’s less of an atmosphere of us both constantly trying to signal and prove our masculinity and more of a “whatever make you happy, I don’t care” attitude. Less repression and insecurity, essentially.

    • dandelionOP
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      1 month ago

      Yeah, I didn’t want to say it, but my experiences were always best with queer men as well. Glad you have people! 💞