Long story short, I’ve known that I was trans long before I had even heard the word. There were signs as early as 4 years old and I knew by the time I was 8. I’m in my late 30’s now and I had come to a kind of peace about not transitioning. It’s something that I want but because of life, family, and a lot of fear I decided not to.
Recently a very close friend who I’ve know for decades came out to me as a trans woman.
I want to tell her about myself but I’m worried about planting seeds of doubt about her transition because I’ve known I was trans for so long and yet haven’t started transitioning myself. I’m afraid that if I try and explain why that she might internalize my reasons. If that makes sense. I’ve never told anyone my truth and I’d so love to have someone to talk to about it. Especially since my friends transition is causing me to second guess myself.
I would appreciate some thoughts on whether I should tell my friend.
As someone who literally didn’t know until I was an adult, dysphoria has been crushing you for your entire life. It will crush you every day that you live unless you transition. Every day before I transitioned was a day I wasn’t alive.
Yesterday I got in fight with my family because they still didn’t understand what being a woman means to me. I’m not brave for transitioning. It took more courage to repress yourself for over three decades, even though you knew what you wanted. As soon as I knew I wanted to be a girl, I didn’t make it a year before I was forced to transition or die.
I commend you for holding out for the sake of others, but you have the option of living for yourself. Nothing feels better than loving yourself, regardless of what your gender is. It’s like seeing after being blind for your entire life. There will be no more going back because you’ll never want to go back.