I’m living that life and we’re not even married yet. 5 years since this June. Never been happier :)
Enjoy it for me, friends. I’m just an NPC.
Grew up assuming this would never happen so I never tried, and now I prolly won’t ever try
This post is going to make some people very sad and some people very happy and I guess I’m here for that. Life is alllll sorts of experiences, good and bad. Just gotta roll with it.
And some of us just, meh. Tried the co-op mode and found that the people I’m attracted to aren’t good for me. Now I’m just looking forward to retiring before I’m 50, and surfing. That and having tons of dogs that I foster and train to be good, and then adopt out. I’m not a good dog parent because I can’t see them as anything but needy toddlers. Therefore annoying. I can’t foster cats because I couldn’t adopt the cats out. The dogs are at least consistently needing the same repetition so that they become good dogs for some family out there.
I’d rather just not tbh but I don’t want to leave a me shaped hole in people’s lives
I get that
At first I imagined actually getting into the fetal position and rolling on the ground, but then I realized that’s only my fetish… You were obviously talking about trains.
Wife doesn’t love me, least not the way I love her. Just had the talk, this post is downright brutal right now.
Yeah, I’m just gonna give you a hug right now.
*"Listen, happy endings is fine if they turn out happy,” said Granny, glaring at the sky. “But you can’t make ‘em for other people. Like the only way you could make a happy marriage is by cuttin’ their heads off as soon as they say ‘I do’, yes? You can’t make happiness…” Granny Weatherwax stared at the distant city.
shut up grandma. people are allowed to get to know each other before they’re married now. also they’re allowed to get a divorce so they don’t have to resort to slowly poisoning their spouse.
Do NOT talk to Granny Weatherwax like that.
That about sums it up. 10/10 fucking love being married
I’ve been married to my wife for 2 years, after being in a relationship with her for 6 years. Things weren’t always perfectly smooth sailing but we’ve managed to work things out. We sometimes have communication issues, which we’re working on, but at least we understand that it’s a weak point and any fights (which are hardly fights) don’t last very long.
She is quite literally my best friend, and I am so, so grateful to have her. We spend most of our time outside of work together and we never grow tired of each other. We always help each other out and cheer each other up when one of us has a bad day. Co-op campaign mode is a great way to put it.
I came out to her as trans shortly after we got married, when I suddenly realized how I felt about being the opposite gender. She was very supportive from the beginning, and although she was initially a little nervous when I started hormones, we’ve grown a lot closer and our love has grown so much stronger since I began to open up and be my authentic self. And for that, I can’t be grateful enough. Many couples I’ve seen where one comes out as trans end up splitting up, for one reason another, so I think I’m extremely lucky to have someone that can see past gender and love me for simply myself.
Lol. Kek.
Right? Lmao even. I know too many people that have been ruined by cheaters to want to marry and I have a genetic disorder I refuse to pass along, so I won’t be having kids. There goes 99% of the dating pool for me.
Ideally yes. This is me and Mrs. Warp Core and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
However…
Well, let me put it this way. Ever have a best friend that, after spending a lot of time around, you find out that you actually can’t stand more than a few hours at time? That is absolutely a possibility here. Only now their stuff is in your house (or vice-versa), and/or they’re on the same lease.
$0.02: It may not always be advisable, but absolutely benchmark the practical aspects of your romance long before tying the knot. Long-term co-habitation is not the only route here. Consider other ways to rack up large blocks of time: getaway vacations, long weekends, or even just “play house” for a few days at a time. You’d be amazed at what horrible, terrible, filthy, obnoxious habits your partner has when “at home.” The reality is that everyone is a bit (more) of a mess in private, and the only real question you have to answer is: “what am I willing to put up with?”
I took a getaway vacation with a woman I had been dating for 3 months. We got back and haven’t corresponded since then. That was a few years ago.
Exactly … and a good way to do that is international budget travelling while you are still young (20-30 years of age).
It doesn’t matter what you got right now in your 20s, borrow, scrape and ask for money wherever you both can and go travel to some foreign country on the most minimal budget you guys can afford.
Stay within safety margins of course … don’t stay in deep dark corners that cost a dollar and risk your lives.
Stay on the trip for about two or three months and you will both cement your relationship if not for the long term than for life. You will go through terrible situations, unsavoury situations, disgusting events … but also see unbelievable things, beautiful images and people and cultures … and best of all you will learn to trust one another completely with money, with time, with space, with your lives. You’ll see the ugly sides of one another and you will learn what you like and dislike about one another and you will find out if you can accept all that or not.
The first five years of being with my wife, we went overseas as often as we could on the skin of our teeth … and it was scary, terrible and absolutely fun and exhilarating for both of us. We saw Asia, India, North Africa and a dozen major European cities … in the summers we got in the car and explored the Canadian west coast … then the Canadian east coast.
Part of the inspiration was an older couple that we made friends with years ago. Before they got married in 1970, they took a motorcycle to Alaska, then down to Patagonia for a year … they went through absolute hell and back and they are still together.
I’m a full blown mess in private or public, they know what they’re getting into before seeing me at home. I have no shame
20 years in, it is pretty dope I have to say.
At the same time, it really, really sucks thinking you found this and then slowly realizing years into it that it’s not going to work because it’s just crushing your soul and there are some fundamental incompatibilities that are just not going to change and you have to get out for the sake of your own sanity and long term happiness, despite how much you want to make it work.
Source: I’m in the terminal phases of that process right now.
Apologies for being a Debbie downer. Just having some pretty rough times right now, and the next couple of weeks are going to absolutely suck, and there’s definitely no way around it but through.
Yuuuup been there before. Gets worse if you have a kid together. Thankfully I didn’t in my case but I have friends who are “stuck”
Hey, I just did that a year ago this November 1st!
Man, am I glad I did. And man, was it so worth it.
So glad to hear it gets better. Thank you!
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you manage to navigate this uncomfortable (and temporary) period of your life and can get back to building happiness again.
I appreciate your sentiments. Your posts often give me spikes of amusement, for what that’s worth. <3
I’m glad! Hang in there, bud. <3
Yo, I’m turning in the divorce papers in a few weeks. After months of detangling finances and finding new places 🎉 Only took like 5 years of me giving it my all and my former spouse constantly telling me I wasn’t doing enough for them. The years before all that were pretty great though
As a generally lazy person, I would suggest other lazy people look for similar minded matches. Don’t look for a type A hyper organized person that’ll pick up after you. My wife and I are lazy in different ways and make that work for us. Sorry you are going through this OP, I hope you find your match!
That’s… actually part of what did us in. She helped me improve myself, and I became a lot happier for it. I tried to return the favor… she was largely unreceptive, and several years of that led to immense frustration, followed by despair. It turned my trajectory right around. And one I had tasted the positive direction, I wanted it back, and I couldn’t settle for just trying to pull her through life.
Dude I’m in the detangling finance stage now.
I made like 3x what she did before we separated so quite literally everything has my name on it. Her lawyer gave an absurd number for the budget she would need me to cover for maintenance for the next 5 years and my lawyer said “ok prove the need.” I don’t think she’ll be able to, but yikes, the thought of this having to go through court is frustrating
I’m fortunate enough that mine is very amicable. No lawyers, we’re splitting everything 50/50, there are a few big things that would make it more complicated in a court but we’re like “no you’re the only one who uses that you get it” kind of stuff. We would have turned in the divorce papers a few weeks ago actually but they’re on my insurance and I didn’t want to kick them until their new job’s insurance takes affect. Even with all this going for us the finances thing took so much work. Can’t imagine what a contested detangling would be like. You’ve got this!
At the same time, it really, really sucks thinking you found this and then slowly realizing years into it that it’s not going to work
Its not going to work with that particular person, but that doesn’t mean your life is over nor that the one you’re looking for still isn’t out there looking for you. I’m really sorry to hear about the situation you’re in right now, and its not going to be easy to get through this and its certainly not going to be quick, but you can get through this. You can heal. You are so much more than just that relationship even though it may not feel like that right now.
You must navigate these choppy waters with an aim to come out the other side whole in time. You owe it to yourself. If you want to try again in the future, should you want to try again, you owe it to the other person thats still out there looking for you.
Oh, I know that. I am actually very confident I’m going to feel way better in the long term. I’m just struggling a lot with guilt and stuff right now because a big part of me feels like a complete psychopath for basically spurning someone I love a lot, and who I know loves me a lot too.
That said, I do appreciate your well-wishes. <3
I am in exactly the same place right now. It’s really shit. I know it will be better eventually, but to hear someone else say it is very helpful. Best of everything to you. Stay strong.
You too, friend.
It’s really nice if you got the right person for it. I love my person so much 💓💓💓
This is exactly my life right now, and it’s great.
It’s great as long as both parties fully understand the other’s “drawbacks” and are prepared to deal with those. Never assume you’ll fix somebody with time. Hopefully both parties do grow and improve themselves over the years, but nobody is perfect.
Love is being able to get angry with someone, wanting to resolve it healthily, and then actually moving forward and feeling it was worth it. It can feel like work sometimes, but the work should never feel pointless.
