Inclusion is when everyone can be who they are and together you form a community. But that is not how inclusion seems to work in today’s world. It seems more to be about ‘participation’ which is like ‘adapt to our way of life so you can join us’. I am 54, and only since the past 7 years have I sought professional help (beyond psychologists, which I have had since I was 15). And in those 7 years I have noticed a disturbing pattern of something I can only describe as victim-blaming. It’s like they say “we have methods and systems, if they don’t work; well, that’s because of you.” The system seems built around avoidance of responsibility; pushing consequences down instead of up. They keep moving the goalposts and gaslight when you confront them. I don;t know how to deal with it anymore.
I struggle with existentialism, mostly since 2020, but also my upbringing.
Since 2020 I kinda just realized everything is bullshit. I used to think everything was bullshit before 2020, but 2020 and the years since seem to shove it in our faces that [America] actually is bullshit. It’s just like… Trying to point out a car accident right in front of someone and them not being able to see it.
I don’t see any order and when there is order it’s only for those that profit from the rules. No one actually helps ime even if it’s their profession. Going to my states mental health program made me feel like such a criminal. And they did nothing to help.
I empathise with your existentialism. I have had that my whole life as well. It is the root cause of my depressions. “Funny” thing is, that in my country (not America), psychologists are not trained to deal with such issues. As soon as I bring up the concept and talk about the pointlessness of life they say I am too philosophical and they cannot talk about philosophy. And then they go on about e.g. the “self” and “free will” and “self-control” and “responsibility”, and when I then point out to them that those concepts are based on philosophical ideas from the era of enlightenment but never scientifically proven to exist, they defend it by saying it is the “norm”, I point out to them that a “norm” is by definition non-inclusive. At which point I am labelled “difficult” and “non-cooperative”.
Same. They tell me don’t try to change things out of my control when their entire view of life is forcefully controlling people to fit their image of what they believe humanity is. Not to mention I grew up around crime and nobody understands that side of life at all. It’s like …oh so I just watch people rob me and let the cops not do anything?..
Yeah, I’ve started describing the “gReAtesT nAtIon oN eaRth” as ‘a bad joke at all the worlds expense’ and even then 2020 has since shown I was being far too generous.
A lot of “methods” to deal with autism aren’t meant to help autistic people feel at ease, it’s to condition them to not bother neurotypicals.
Hence masking.
I hear you. I’ve been called a “loner” and “different” my whole life. Sometimes people called me a “rebel” and a “troublemaker”. Turns out I’m autistic. Yay me.
And society at large likes to play by rules made up and enforced by itself. Us autistic people aren’t included in those. And thus we wind up trying really hard to play by the rules, only to find out others don’t… and they don’t face any consequences.
If the rules exist to keep me in check, but everyone else gets to roam free, it isn’t personal responsibility. Instead, it’s a failure of society at large to recognize us and accommodate us equally and fairly.
And… that’s why I’m into politics.
deleted by creator
The idea is “inclusion” is still a new concept, and mainly throughout the western world.
It’s like they say “we have methods and systems, if they don’t work; well, that’s because of you.” The system seems built around avoidance of responsibility; pushing consequences down instead of up. They keep moving the goalposts and gaslight when you confront them.
Sounds like people on a power trip making themselves feel better. I’ve been in professional mental health settings (autism is not my specialty at all), and I have heard so much victim-blaming from therapists saying that their client isn’t getting better because they’re not doing the work. They can’t accept that they aren’t helping the client and that their titles and degrees don’t have any effect in the practical world, so they blame-shift onto the person with less power to maintain their delusion of superiority. It’s straight up out of the narcissist playbook.
If they have methods and systems that don’t suit you, then it’s the responsibility of the society to provide methods and systems that do, provided you count as a person in that society.
If they blame you for requiring (for example) wheelchair access where there is none, that disregard of the society to your personhood.
This sort of thing happens all the time, and giving the system the benefit of the doubt, it tries to expand accessibility over time. But in my experience, it doesn’t try that hard and only when more accessibility results in more profit… or less social unrest.
We know most kids don’t learn well from the lecture-lab model of teaching, but here in the states, our school districts are more interested in containing kids rather than teaching them, and even then only society-approved topics in order to mold them into obedient expendible laborers and soldiers. They’re not interested in raising children into adults who can think.
So yeah, our society isn’t even trying, and you may need to end some professional careers before our psychological sector takes you seriously.
But the problem is totally them, not you, and a system working in good faith would be able to accommodate your specific needs.
