So I know everyone is going to answer “yes”, but I want actual real thoughts. I just want to know where I fit in.

I’m AMAB, and present as male, at least on the surface. I’ve always felt that was wrong though. But I don’t necessarily think I’m a woman. I wish I was more feminine. And recently I started full body laser hair removal, and I have pretty long hair, and currently have my toe nails painted. But I also have a beard, and otherwise present totally as cis.

Am I “trans”? I don’t feel “cis”, but I feel like calling myself trans just isn’t accurate and is inappropriate. Is there any other option?

And a complicating factor is that I’m basically only attracted to female presenting people. I see a lot of mtf trans people posting online “t4t”. Would other trans people consider me “trans”?

  • LadyAutumnM
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    2 months ago

    Demi gender labels may be of interest to you. Being transfem doesn’t necessitate being feminine or un-masculine in any way. You can be yourself authentically, be whoever you want to be. And being a non-binary or demi or fluid person does NOT mean you deserve any less respect from others. I know it’s the tendency to say things like “I use he/him or she/her because it’s easiest for others” and the same with terms like sir/ma’am, boy/girl, man/woman, etc. But you by no means have to. You can ask to be referred to however you want. It is on other people to respect your identity and your choice in how you are gendered. If they won’t respect that it has nothing to do with your identity being invalid and everything to do with them being disrespectful assholes. All forms of gender identity are valid.

    • IdleSheep
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      2 months ago

      Demi gender is certainly a way I could approach my situation. For the most part, at least online (lord knows no one around me irl could even wrap their head around it) I just use any/all pronouns and feel satisfied with that. I guess I’m jus mostly apathetic towards it.