For context: This Monday I came out to my work colleges and asked them also to call me by my new name and pronouns. Everyone is very supportive which is all that I could hope for. The only issue is, since in my family noone calls me by my actual name, not many people in my life actually call me by my chosen name (at least up until now).
With everyone at work calling me by my chosen name now, it actually feels quite a bit strange, uncomfortable and even a little embarrassing.
I did talk to my therapist about something like that once and he said that, yes, I am stepping out of my comfort zone and yes, that is uncomfortable but it’s a necessary step to get better.
And yet, my brain still slaps me with that sweet sweet imposter syndrome like “how can you be trans if what you want is making you uncomfortable” and so on.
And now I’m here, asking you for similar experiences you’ve had to hopefully get it through my fat skull that it’s a normal thing to feel (hopefully).
So. How long did it take you? Did it just click for you or was it just as uncomfortable as it is for me?
I felt the same with my preferred name, but I like it. When someone uses it for the first time, I feel the initial embarrassment. It’s that little voice with all the nasty questions that want to invalidate and feel guilty about the euphoria it brings. But hey, I got quite the high when somebody complimented the name I chose. After a while, you get used to certain voices using the correct name and pronouns for you.