I’ve been doing this for some time now. Even if it’s something that I consider important.

I just don’t see the value in participating in a discussion that I have seen countless times already where the same points and arguments happen over and over again. One that I know wilI turn ugly. It’s exhausting and I’ve decided to just opt-out.

    • urtiscay@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      4 months ago

      Yeah on another community there is a single user who tends to say stupid stuff just to entice a hell thread I started arguing with them once I realized that there was no further need for the conversation I had won because they started calling me a liar I just block them and went about my day

  • fart_pickle@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    24
    ·
    4 months ago

    If the question is open, e.g. “do you like apples?” and the question is in my area of interest, I usually give an answer. But if the question assumes an answer or is deliberately polarizing, e.g. “why don’t you like apples?” I pass.

  • QuarterSwede@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    20
    ·
    edit-2
    4 months ago

    Religion.

    Holy crap are do people on Lemmy seem to have a seething hate for them all. Not interested with debating over something we’ll disagree on. It’s just not a welcome topic here.

    • zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      19
      ·
      4 months ago

      I think most of us are tired of the vocal minority that exist IRL that are actively harming others (especially lgbtq+, women, and minorities) and the silent majority that are complicit with it, especially in the US.

      Religion also seems to have a hatred of every other belief, explicit or implicit, e.g. if you don’t believe in Jesus, you deserve to be tortured eternally. Why would I be tolerant of people that think that’s capital g Good?

      Plus, how can you have a debate when one side won’t keep to the basic rules of evidence.

      One last thing you might notice is that it’s probably not Buddhism or Daoism that get hostile reactions. That might be worth inspecting.

      • a lil bee 🐝@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        17
        ·
        4 months ago

        See, I think this is what they’re talking about though. I hate Christianity. I was raised Protestant and because of other factors in my life, Christianity effectively ruined large swathes of my lifespan. It’s still an active threat to me, and likely will be for my entire life. I’m likely to be a fairly stringent atheist forever.

        All that said, edgy internet atheists are one of the most annoying archetypes to run into online. If even a whiff of a religious topic comes up, they pounce and nip and bark. They satisfy almost every stereotype the religious people have of them because they often seem to delight in the cruelty of knocking on beliefs. Like, my whole top comment still being relevant, religion has a reason to exist. It gives people feelings of hope, love, and belonging. Anyone who has experienced a lack of those can understand why people fall into religion and why it’s like any other addiction.

        I’m breaking one of my rules right now, talking about religion on social media, but I figured the “meta” aspect of this thread would make it productive. I hope I don’t regret it.

        • die444die@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          4 months ago

          Which edgy internet atheist are you referring to? I’m not understanding how your comment relates to the person you replied to?

          • a lil bee 🐝@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            8
            ·
            4 months ago

            Yknow, it’s really something else to come into a thread discussing topics people don’t want to talk about because they get treated to shitty behavior and sealioning, and proceed to sealion on one of those topics.

            • die444die@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              4 months ago

              No one suggested any of the things you are ranting about though. That’s why I’m confused. Someone said that they don’t like talking about religion because it seems to them like lemmy users hate all religion. Someone else responded with a comment saying they believe it’s not all religions and it’s really specific things that most people seem to take issue with, and then you came in ranting about how they are the problem. Wtf?

              I just don’t understand how you got that from their comment.

              • a lil bee 🐝@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                8
                ·
                4 months ago

                Not doing this with you. If you can’t follow the logic between the post topic, this thread’s OP, and the common experiences of anyone on the internet, that’s fine, just don’t discuss. Not going to do the thing where you’re “just asking questions” and critiquing every pedantic little point along the way. That’s sealioning and it’s tiring and lame and why half of the people here don’t want to discuss the issues they’re bringing up. The only one here who can’t seem to follow the logic is you.

                • die444die@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  4 months ago

                  Yeah that’s not what I’m doing. You specifically are not making any logical sense, and instead of engaging in conversation, you’re attacking. I was just confused if you misread the comment above you or you replied to the wrong person. Take a look in the mirror at all the accusations you’re hurling.

      • QuarterSwede@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        4 months ago

        No, lately it’s literally been, “all religion is a scourge on humanity.” Christianity doesn’t even broach the subject anymore.

      • Citrus_Cartographer@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        4 months ago

        Honestly that sentiment depends on where you are in the world.
        There are some parts of the world where it’s very common to discuss religion, there are other parts where it’s taboo, like you say, it just depends on where you live in the world.
        The cool thing is that the internet has brought us all together. However, I find it common that we also assume that others share the same “common sense” that we do, even when “common sense” itself can vary widely from one community to the next.

  • troglodytis@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    4 months ago

    In the middle of my third paragraph I deleted most of this comment and reminded myself, my perspective is not needed.

  • FIST_FILLET@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    4 months ago

    my new year’s resolution this year was stop wasting time replying to dumbasses online

    it’s not going very well but it’s the thought that counts. we’ll get em next year

  • mesamune@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    4 months ago

    In my industry, people can get very toxic really quickly over minor details. I’ve decided quite a few times to just let things go, even if they are blatantly wrong.

    You end up in a situation where the person on the other end really just does not want to drop it, has to “win” no matter what. Even if the subject in itself was something you went to school learning/writing a paper on.

    • caiman@sopuli.xyzOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      4 months ago

      The people that need to “win” drive me crazy. It’s not enough to them if you concede on some points, it’s not enough if you agree to disagree, they just have to be right 100%, and you realize they won’t be happy unless you say “Sorry, I was wrong and you were right.” and bow to their superior intelligence.

      I’ve made the mistake of engaging with people like this before and it was a nightmare. Like you said, they wouldn’t just drop it, even after I explicitly said “Sorry, but we are going in circles here, we should just end it.” after an hour long discussion, where they could’ve easily taken their “W” from me walking away.

      • Aqarius@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        4 months ago

        I get the distinct impression that some people are simply unable to concieve of a perspective different from their own. For lack of a better comparison, it’s like those Christian movies where everyone, including the atheist, openly believes God exists, but the atheist chooses to be an atheist out of spite or malice or whatever. So for some, disagreement is at best you being a troll or shill or bot, and at worst a frontal attack at their entire conception of the world.

  • JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    4 months ago

    Usually in online arguments I don’t expect to convince the person I’m arguing with, but to show anyone else reading the thread that an opposing opinion exists. But that said, sometimes I simply don’t engage if I don’t have the energy.

    • GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      4 months ago

      I do appreciate posts like those.

      My objective when I look through a comment thread, especially in a topic I don’t know much about, I’m looking for the well reasoned posts. I admit I’m a human (confirmed via captchas) and love to have my opinions validated, but I also like to read a different take on a situation or issue. And because I am not in a situation where I don’t feel like I have to defend my opinion I’m more open to seeing a different perspective.

      So thank you for taking the time to write those out - and to others that do that thank you as well.

    • deaf_fish@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      4 months ago

      This! You can never “win” or get the last word, but you can get the other person to show how bad their arguments are. You just have to trust that others will decide on what is right correctly.

  • magnetosphere@fedia.io
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    edit-2
    4 months ago

    What you’re doing isn’t a bad thing. I went through something similar.

    Your mental health is more important than any online discussion could ever be. If that means less food for the trolls and sealions, so be it.

    • JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      4 months ago

      I know you’re trying to say the opposite, but I agree with the sealion in this regard. The human was being racist, and when the sealion chalkenged them to actually defend their beliefs they proved that they couldn’t, and instead of admitting they didn’t have any logical reason to hate sealions, they made excuses such as them being busy with other things, when they could have ended the discussion quickly by admitting they were wrong for hating sealions - or, if they did have a good reason for hating sealions, saying it. He was dodging the question and putting it on the sealion for being rude.

          • Hucklebee@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            edit-2
            4 months ago

            Yeah, I thought about discarding the whole explanation beneath it. But then I remembered that the first time I saw the sea lion comic I was kind of confused about what sealioning was and had similair questions.

            If interpreted wrong, the sealion comic seems like a fight against questions and evidence. I interpreted it like that the first time I saw that comic. Now I know better though 😜.

          • Hucklebee@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            edit-2
            4 months ago

            Sealioning is not about the content of the discussion. It is about a discussionstyle.

            Don’t get the two mixed. If you’re trolling: good job! Have some meaningless internetpoints from me!

            If you genuinly don’t know what the problem with sealioning is, I suggest you read up on it some more:

            “Rhetorically, sealioning fuses persistent questioning—often about basic information, information easily found elsewhere, or unrelated or tangential points—with a loudly-insisted-upon commitment to reasonable debate. It disguises itself as a sincere attempt to learn and communicate. Sealioning thus works both to exhaust a target’s patience, attention, and communicative effort, and to portray the target as unreasonable. While the questions of the “sea lion” may seem innocent, they’re intended maliciously and have harmful consequences. — Amy Johnson, Berkman Klein Center for Internet & Society (May 2019)”

            I can see why only seeing that comic makes you come to questions like you asked (“what if it were black people?”) But these questions are questions about content rather then the form of sealioning. Of course it is not wrong to ask for sources in a debate. Or to ask questions. It is however, harmful to impose bad-faith, or even ignore boundaries that are given by the other party (hence the sealion being in bed with its debater in the comic, which is entirely inappropriate of the sealion.)

            Or another definition:

            *“Internet trolls sometimes engage in what is called ‘sealioning’. They demand that you keep arguing with them for as long they want you to, even long after you realize that further discussion is pointless. If you announce that you want to stop, they accuse you of being closed-minded or opposed to reason. The practice is obnoxious. Reason should not be silenced, but it needs to take a vacation sometimes. — Walter Sinnot-Armstront, Think Again: How to Reason and Argue (June 2018).” *

  • TheSpermWhale@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    4 months ago

    I’m a massive Doctor Who fan and discourse surrounding it has been ‘difficult’ for the last few years. As the quality of the show has varied, some fans have denounced more recent series, and others have become angry that they don’t enjoy the same things as they do. At the end of the day we’re all fans of Doctor Who, we just can’t agree what Doctor Who is, but I think we should accept that and all let each other enjoy the Doctor Who we want to.

  • treadful@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    4 months ago

    Absolutely. Not even just online, but IRL too.

    I’m a software engineer that works on tech that’s extremely contentious in public discourse. Most people have pretty negative assumptions about myself and my work to the point that I hate talking about it. Even most people in my industry can be a bit insufferable. So I’d rather just keep my mouth shut and keep doing my own thing.

    • classic@fedia.io
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      4 months ago

      Yeah sometimes I have what might be decent input on a topic but it would then start painting a picture of my profession, so I don’t. That also goes for some questions that I have which I could use help with, but are specific enough that I don’t post them. It’s likely that it doesn’t matter; but the whole “the Internet doesn’t forget” piece is something to be a little careful about, unfortunately

  • Guadin@k.fe.derate.me
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    4 months ago

    Yes, I do. Sometimes I disagree with something but I know my opinion will not be appreciated and I will be called names for just a different opinion. Often, it’s not that I out those opinions in public but I just think them to myself but let other people be as they are. But that nuance will not come across online.