I used to perform masculinity more but it was psychologically killing me to a point it was affecting me physically. Even then people would pick up on my speech pattern and body language, notice I am queer and act upon it. At best I’d get mockery, but I had people trying to physically harm me or directly leading to me losing housing if I didn’t want the harm to escalate.
I fear now that I no longer even perform masculinity I won’t find a job and/or housing. The norms for people perceived as male when it comes to clothing are extremely strict and I adhere to none. My hair’s long, I wear leggings and so on. I cannot even afford to buy the clothes to appease people who expect me to perform, but I don’t think I can do it again. But I’ve no family and I’ve no clue what to do.
I am really down about it because I am at the brink of going jobless and homeless.
I will deeply appreciate no nosiness, no rude comments and generally taking into account that I’m not ready to take blows when opening up.
I am open to any recommendations regarding easy to get jobs where your looks don’t matter, but I am not fully able bodied so I probably won’t be able to perform them and from my own research jobs where your looks don’t matter simply provide an extremely uncomfortable uniform, so the looks do matter after all. :(
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I wish I was smarter or better informed, so I could give you some advice that would help, but I’m not. All I can say is hang in there, and don’t give up. Don’t let societal norms beat you down, because they’re stupid and made up anyway. As long as you keep fighting to make your life better, you never know when you’ll catch a break and really make it.
I was exactly where you’re at about a year ago friend.
What ended up happening?
I did come out
I was rejected
I did lose my job (not due to bn trans tho)
I was hospitalized
I was kicked out of family’s house
I did become homeless
But in the days since?
I don’t live a pretend life anymore
I don’t live in ignorant/hostile areas anymore
I don’t have anyone left to hide from
I don’t overeat as much anymore
I don’t use tobacco as much anymore
I am on significantly less medication
I have less depressed days
I have met a wonderful partner
And things continue to be on the up and up. I’m soooo close to being housed finally (Would appreciate anyone’s help who can), and I’m employed, and on HRT, and just better.
Trust me, even if it looks like things can and will get worse, you’ll pull through. And, if its safe enough to do so, living as the person you truly are makes life sooooo much better, even when the current situation isn’t.
I wish I had better advice, I’m afraid of a similar situation myself.
All I can think of is find some kind of local chapter of PFLAG or some other queer network. I know they’re not everywhere, but hopefully there’s something near enough to you, or at least remote support of some kind.
I live in low income housing and because I have a service dog and disabilities I get denies everywhere I go. Let alone being visibly trans too. I just keep applying over and over again. Nothing else I can do
Apply for every government job you might qualify for. Depending on where you are they often take non discrimination very seriously.
Have you tried going to a temp agency? I haven’t used one in a while, but they usually have multiple options and might be able to help you find the right fit.
I tried. They don’t respond at all.
Perhaps remote work would be worth investigating. Wishing you luck in your difficult journey
Remote work isn’t doable when you’ve no housing and it requires the employer or their subsidies to be located in the same country.
That really sucks. I know you don’t want nosiness but sharing your location (only as specific as you feel comfortable with) could help people point out resources you may not be aware of.
