Also we’re going to go ahead and get you to commute again for literally no reason ❤️
Wait, wait, wait. Just hold up a minute! Are you seriously trying to tell me that spending 10+ hours a week and thousands of dollars a year sitting in a car just so you can “work” in an open room where you can’t hear yourself think, much less get any actual work done, is bad for your mental health?
Your ungrateful little shit. Not only are you getting paid, you’re saving a ton of money by not having any recreational time and you have a convenient excuse for avoiding your SO and missing your kids stupid sports games. You should be paying your employer for the privilege of commuting to work.
/s
Also, we have a locked lease on an oversized office to impress our clients and shareholders. This office also shows said clients and shareholders we are a real company, even if we miss every deadline.and deliver a dog shit product. And, middle manager Kevin needs to feel important by actually seeing his underlings working and cowering in fear at his presence, do you really want the CEO’s nephew to feel worthless?
I’m convinced that shit is why managers love rto.
Drive by management is just a lot more fun than putting effort in clear communication and good organisation. Imaging to actually having to work for that big wage.
Drive by management
I like this. I’m going to steal it.
There is also seagull management. They at least take the time to shit on everybody too.
I have met way too many of those people. It’s a sad way to live your life.
How about a pizza party instead?
Yeah, that’s what we’re going with. The pizza will be delivered in time for management’s lunch break. Please enjoy during your regularly scheduled break or lunch, by which time the good stuff will be gone and what’s left will be cold.
You get a few free zoom sessions with a talk therapist! Problems solved ✅
please give us 2 weeks notice if you intend to kill yourself.
How about a pizza party champ?
We call them slices here at AOL-Time-Warner-Pepsico-Viacom-Halliburton-Skynet-Toyota-Trader-Joe’s
TOYOGA
Best we can do is Casual Fridays. But no ripped jeans
I’m part of the “health and safety” team at my job and every meeting my suggestion to improve mental health is “give raises.” Lol
If they really wanna be family, they’d let me stay in my own bedroom rent-free in the boss’s house.
“We shall paint one wall blue. And maybe add a vapid slogan in Comic Sans.”
That slogan?
Live Laugh Lube
“we don’t want to actually change anything, we just want the image boost from saying that we care about it”
We’ll do anything for the mental health of our workers except spending any money, time or effort.
“So, what other resources do we have?”
“Our employees.”
“Great. Let’s just spend them.”
I enjoy pointing out that for a company that makes X Profit, Y Salary does not equal Z Bankruptcy. If it did you don’t want to work for them anyway since they’re one good solid financial fart away from going under.
It’s all smoke and mirrors. Most companies can afford twice the workforce they have. Layoffs and hiring freezes exist to make the quarterly reports look pretty for the largely sociopathic execs who are just literate enough in most cases to deeply appreciate books with pictures that are less than 30 pages in length.
If they’re publicly traded then they’re required by law to try to have continuous growth. Of course, that’s not sustainable.
So while it is slightly more complex than this, what you just said fundamentally boils down to:
You’re wrong.
Fiduciary Responsibility, yes. Legal requirement: No.
You can have twenty minutes of “chair yoga” per week.
We’re a family.
