How can we secure a solar eclipse induced apocalypse next time? More virgin sacrifices? Less? Virgins are quite abundant these days. We could go either way…

  • Maple Engineer@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    They’re so ignorant that they thought that the eclipse was global and believed that it was the beginning of the biblical 3 days of total darkness that signaled the end of the world. They are so fucking horny for the end of the world and their presumed admission to heaven that they see the end everywhere and are actively trying to bring it about. That’s why they want to start a race war, and a war with Russia, and… they’re trying to CAUSE the end of the world so that they can go to heaven.

    • spittingimage@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I like to think of Jesus chasing them around and around the pearly gates with a whip. Biblically speaking, it’s not out of the question.

      • Maple Engineer@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        That any of those people believe that they are Christians when they don’t follow the letter and spirit of the teachings of Jesus Christ is utterly baffling.