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For me it’s hard because most contexts for practice are not with strangers, but with people who knew me before transitioning. Psychologically it’s much harder for me to use a “fake” voice with people who know it’s fake than to practice feminine speech patterns with strangers who might not know better where my “normal” masculine voice would threaten passing.
Unfortunately my speech therapist already says I’m doing a great job and wanted to reduce frequency of lessons, but I feel overwhelmed by this and like I’m entirely failing to modify my voice. The problem seems to be more psychological than technical. :-(
I hope your vocal lesson goes well - it can be a lot of fun to learn new techniques and experiment with them!
Oh I get that :/ I still can’t really practice in front of my wife which is definitely an issue I need to work on because I can’t just… Drop it on her ya know? She even told me she couldn’t handle that mentally, lol which I don’t blame her for.
It’s really hard practicing your voice in front of those that know you are intentionally trying to change it.
oof, it would be a punch in the gut for me if my spouse said they wouldn’t be able to handle practicing with them. It also makes me wonder what they are thinking about the long term, you know …
I’ve heard of someone whose spouse told them to only use one voice (the new voice) and not switch back and forth, but that seems almost equally problematic to me.
I’ve been looking for advice on how to overcome the mental struggles with practicing the voice, here are some things I found (mostly just laying them out for myself, but maybe sharing them here will be useful to someone):
Oh no! Sorry, I didn’t word that well. I meant my wife doesn’t want me to just start using my new voice one day out of the blue without giving her some time to adjust.
She is very supportive but is also going to miss my voice as I work on it. So I need to gradually kind of work on it with her present that way she can be a part of the journey and get used to how my voice will change. Does that make more sense? O.o
That is a great list and I find it useful :) it does take a lot of work to get to a point where you’re happy with your voice but it’ll be worth it (I hope) 😅
oh, yeah - that makes more sense, and maybe that’s what I would have inferred if I weren’t so tired when I read your message, my bad 😄
That actually seems like a great situation because it promotes practicing with your spouse! Maybe they can give good feedback and being involved they can go through the adjustment with you.
These are such big changes, it’s a lot for anyone.
Another resource I have outside the stuff mentioned in the /r/transvoice subreddit is The Voice Book for Trans and Non-Binary People, though I haven’t finished reading it, so I’m not necessarily recommending as much as just mentioning it in case it helps you.
Thanks! I’ll definitely check it out :)